Some Brief Thoughts on Why Pirates are Better than Ninjas, circa 2010

Pirates drink rum, Ninjas drink tea
really the list could end after that but i might as well go on

Pirates are drunk all the time

boats.

Pirates' complexion is much better because they are out swabbing decks while ninjas are only out at night covered in robes

who wears robes anyways, fancy word for dress if you ask me

Pirates get to keelhaul people
also pirates get to say the word keelhaul, say it out loud now, its fun

while ninjas are meditating and studying and shit pirates are getting drunk and rapin bitches

Take Your pick:

ninja robes leave to much to the imagination, pirates are always scantily clad

do i really have to say how cool pet monkeys and parrots are

if you get beaten as a ninja you take your own life, that shits weak, as a pirate you either get a wooden leg or an eyepatch, badass

ninjas have to be silent they have never had the joys of saying yarrrrg
also ninjas cant fart whenever they want to

cool hats

mermaids

(yeah I know i could have gotten a real picture but we all know ariel is smoking)

(and no I couldnt have gotten a real picture because mermaids arent real fuckhead)

im not sure on this one but i think ninjas are celibate so they dont have any distractions

like titties, which are great

who wants to use throwing stars when you can fire a huge ass cannon

huge ass cannons

the only ninja that was ever cool is chris farley and he died, so you guys are screwed

(no picture of the late great out of respect)

rumor has it an australian ninja stole the amazing term "matey" from pirates then dropped the "y" so that now anytime an australian talks about his guy friends it sounds like theyre butt-sex-buddies

that creepy guy from kill bill with he foot long eyebrows

he just creeps me out

the movie hook, although pirates are portrayed as pussies for gettin there asses kicked by 8 year olds with bamboo paintball guns, its a badass movie and smee is the man

this dog, simply because if you google pirate it comes up