A Conversation with the Internet

I was browsing the internet fully clothed the other day and happened across the Barely Legal website. Once I found out I had to pay, I tried to back out. Then "Sophie" popped up on my screen.


Official transcript follows (this is legit):

Sophie Says: Wait baby, don't go! CLICK HERE to start downloading full-length DVD-quality videos and photos you cant find anywhere else - ONLY at BarelyLegal.com!

You: please

Sophie Says: you're so polite :)

You: thank you

Sophie Says: you're very welcome!

You: word up

Sophie Says: Give BarelyLegal.com a try today! For only $1.99USD what do you have to lose? CLICK HERE to become a member today!

You: So I read on wikipedia that the bios of the girls aren't written by them, but by old sweaty dudes. Is that true?

Sophie Says: i know you're a guy

You: hell yeah

Sophie Says: Okay great. CLICK HERE and fill out the page in order to take advantage of this great offer.

You: Yeah, but before I click, I just want to make sure im not being duped. Can I believe everything I read on this website?

Sophie Says: Fantastic... just CLICK HERE to get back to the order page.

You: Right, you're kind of avoiding the question though.

Sophie Says: I'm sorry but I don't have all the answers. However, your satisfaction is our success. If for any reason you're not 100% happy with your membership, please contact us immediately at support@hustler.com and let us make it right.

You: Dammit Sophie, let me type to your manager.

Sophie Says: i'm not stopping you

You: You kind of are.

Sophie Says: me?

You: Yes you. I want to type to your manager.

Sophie Says: how bad do you want me?

You: I don't want you; I want your manager... Wait, what?

Sophie Says: Remember, this Trial offer is only available through this chat and for a limited time. Why go anywhere else? What do you say; would you like to take advantage of this last-minute offer?

You: You know me, I'm a last minute kind of guy.

Sophie Says: no, i'm really a girl

You: Geez, when was that ever questioned? Your name is Sophie, right? Right?

Sophie Says: My name is Sophie

You: Whew. That was close. I had a bad experience once.

Sophie Says: do you still have?

You: Well.... nothing face to face. The internet is a wild place as you probably already know.

Sophie Says: OK, thank you for your time.  To end the CHAT simply CLICK on the "X" in upper right.

You: I thought you were trying to sell me something.

Sophie Says: well, it's a thought

You: I changed my mind. Can I buy the subscription after all?

Sophie Says: you're very welcomed to

You: Great! What's the link?

Sophie Says: i dunno, what is it?

You: You knew it a bunch earlier. I'm trying to give you my credit card number. Help me out a little bit.

Sophie Says: Understandable, however a valid Credit Card is required to take advantage of this free trial.  Also, at this time we are not able to accept C.O.D., Money Orders or Personal Checks.

You: You know what?

Sophie Says: yeah, i know

You: No. you're not doing it right.

Sophie Says: OK, Thank you for your time.  To end the CHAT simply CLICK on the "X" in upper right.

You: Fuck this. CLICK

Sophie Says: Whoa, language! :)