We have a lot of work to do before next 4th Crooked....

And John was complaining about us!!!

From the horse's mouth....

Not sure if anyone saw this, but after TO signed with the Bengals, Chad Ochocinco created the following image. All I can say is well played 85, well played...

Inception Review

Shouldn't this movie be in black and white?

In case you haven't seen this yet....

So one of my friends woke up at 3am and waited in line for NINE HOURS to get her hands on the new iPhone. I don't think she got a chance to watch this ad beforehand, but it certainly does sell the product. I'm particularly impressed with the iPhone 4's ability to alleviate constipation.

Check it out:

iPhone 4 Video - The Deleted Scenes from Adam Scott

Another Public Service Announcement From The Good People at BRM

This news report caught my eye recently, and I figured I'd share it with you all in case you hadn't heard about it. It's about a new trend in the, ever expanding, pursuit by teenagers to get high.

This time from music.

Now if you're like me, the first thing you're wondering is if it works. It doesn't, it just kinda frustrates you. Only someone who had never done drugs would think that this workds. But if you wanna try, I found some online.

I love that by doing a news report/public service announcement, there are now double the amount of videos on youtube of kids trying it. Now be careful, that's some strong shit I just gave you all, and like a true dealer, I am going to give you weaker and weaker shit so you'll be forced to come back.

If the first one is supposed to be like pot, this one is like huffing computer duster. Enjoy.

Summer Must See!!!!

If you are going to watch one movie this summer, I would like to offer a suggestion. let me start with the premise....

We start with a Navy engineered marine animal, that is part shark, part octopus.... ALL SHARKTOPUS!!!!!

This new naval secret is the ultimate super weapon untill.... They lose control of it!!!!

At this point Sharktopus goes crazy and starts killing tons of Bikini clad women who are frolicking on the beach. If you think a machine gun can stop him... THINK AGAIN!!!!

If this hasn't wet your appetite yet, just watch the trailer below. the Bungee jump scene below is probably one of the most exciting action scene's in a monster movie since Godzilla laid a million eggs inside of Madison square Garden!!

Forget Waterskiing

Below is a Video of the Manta Ray tube. Bornostar has agreed to be the first to givwe the Manta ray a try after I purchase one for Saturday Night.

Admission for being in the boat to watch this feat starts at $20. I have to pay for this thing some how... please let me know if you are interested in watching Ipswich Bay history, as we send Borno to the sky.

No man is an island

In 2011... it will take a village...

COMING IN LESS THAN A YEAR

Congratulations!

Coming this February!!!

How it happened....





Congrats Mega-Millions!!!!!

I'm on a Boat

I realize that T-Pain and the Lonely Island's sensational hit was last summer. However, I was on a boat last night and had to fight the urge to break into song and stand at the bow like Leo. Here's a snapshot of the Frying Pan, Manhattan's hottest bar for after-work drinks:

I thought that Chowder Day at AYC would provide me with the largest concentration of preppy men, but I was wrong. There were more dudes in loafers (no socks) on the boat than you'd see on the train out to New Haven for 4th of July Weekend. My observations:

1) One 1 brand of sunglasses is allowed: Ray-Bans. They can be Wayfarers or Aviators or those weird ones like you'd see on Mad Men. Sunglasses can be wore on your face, but they look so much cooler when they rest in the crook of your button-down shirt, with a few chest hairs pokin' out.

2) It's fun to talk to people at your table, but it's more fun to watch the people around you, as they try to pick up young, inebriated, overheated singles. You have the option to multi-task here: watch strangers in the sunglasses lens of the person who's talking to you (bonus if they're big shiny aviators).

3) Some people actually watch Trueblood Season 3. And have opinions on the matter.

4) Ladies, be careful when talking to a Manhattan stud. He may have a beautiful tan, beautiful smile, and beautiful business card, but he may also be a beautiful American Psycho just waiting to videotape your sexual romp and then chase you through his apartment with a chainsaw. Just saying.

5) You're not as funny as 7 Coronas-and-lime make you think you are. So stop talking so G-D much.

Breaking News!

In an inspired geographical move, the City of Cleveland has decided to pack its bags and move to Miami, Florida.

While somewhat surprising, experts are predicting that the move will help provide Cleveland with warmer winters and cocaine, possibly raising the spirits of the ailing city.

With the Jersey Shore also relocating to South Beach, the fourth corner of the US has become a hot-spot destination for tourists, sports fans, and Cuban refugees alike.

No word yet on who will take Cleveland's prime real estate south of the Great Lakes, but with the prevailing winds, Canada seems like a safe bet.

Do they have editors???

This headline is just to ridiculous not to link to....

Tired Gay succumbs to Dix in 200 meters

Ripped from the Headlines

Straight from the streets of San Francisco....

Aw, sweet! Legos!

A tough day

DJ Scratch ticket recieved some very tough news last week...

Thankfully it was all caught on video!

Signs you're watching a good Nic Cage film

With the internet chock full of advice on which Cage flicks to avoid, I thought I'd take this opportunity to highlight a few movie moments that should encourage the viewer to stay the course and be rewarded.

1. If Nic Cage is bench-pressing strippers, you're watching a good Nic Cage movie.

2. If Nic Cage is obsessed with camel toes, you're watching a good Nic Cage movie.

3. If Nic Cage is playing a Russian immigrant with absolutely no accent, and banging Tom Brady's sloppy seconds, you're watching a good Nic Cage movie.

4. If Nic Cage has got a panty on his head, you're watching a good Nic Cage movie.

5. If Nic Cage is a chemical superfreak but he still needs a gun, you're watching a good Nic Cage movie.

Coincidentally, if Sean Connery is in the movie, you're watching a good Sean Connery movie.

Nothing says action like matching turtlenecks.

6. If Nic Cage is using Pink Sno-Balls as prison currency, you're watching a good Nic Cage movie.

Furthermore, if Nic Cage tells you to tie a yellow ribbon around the old oak tree, that means he's coming home to his ladies, coming home.... forever.

You should also put the bunny back in the box.

And of course...

7. If Nic Cage's face can be cut off and put on another guy, and that guy instantly gets all of Nic Cage's powers, then you are watching the best movie ever.

Identifying bad Nic Cage movies...

Now we have had a lot of Nic Cage talk here this week, and I will admit not all Cage movies are bad....

That being said let me pass along a guide to help you identify when you are sitting through an awful cage experience. Because as we know, there are always a lot of rerun cage movies on. Here we go....

1. If the movie's main character travels back in time to re-do their past. You are probably watching a bad Nic Cage movie.

2. If the other Main Character in the movie is Cher, you are definitely watching a bad Cage movie.

3. If cage is playing a secret service agent, you are watching a bad Cage movie.

4. If the cast includes Rosie Perez, and she is a waitress that gets a share of a winning lottery ticket. You are watching a really bad cage movie.

5. If you find out that Jon Lovitz and Dana Carvey are Cage's brothers in the movie, gouge your eyes out, because you are watching a bad cage movie.

6. If Nic Cage plays an Angel and Goo Goo dolls writes the theme song to the movie.. you are in movie hell.

7. If Nic cage is trying to speak with an accent and says lines like... "If this thing goes bad, Larkin, I don't think my daughter will... understand. If you speak to my wife again, you tell her: that I love her. She's my hummin'bird. But, I couldn't leave a fallen man behind. You'll do that for me, won't you, Larkin?" Then Cage has ruined an otherwise good movie.

8. In fact if Nic has hair longer than 3 inches on his head, best avoid his acting.

9. If Cage is searching out snuff films, you just wasted 2 hours of your life.

10. If Angelina Jolie make out scene can not save the movie you are watching, you are probably watching a bad Cage film.

11. if the tag line fir the movie is "What if you made different choices? What if you said yes, instead of no? What if you got a second chance?" you still have a chance to avoid this atrocious Cage film. Change the channel before Cage goes back in time to be a Family man.

12. Avoid any Cage movie in which he plays a musical instrument.

13. If Nicholas Cage gets blasted and falls to the ground, wounded. Then, a group of Japanese soldiers start running towards him, but Nic manages to kill them all in one second... Using one gun... Without even aiming. All while protecting a native American in WWII...

14. If the movie resembles a bad Indiana Jones rip off and Cage is spouting lines like "I would never use the Declaration of Independence as a bargaining chip" you're watching a bad Cage movie.

15. When people are over heard saying they would rather sit through Glitter than watch the movie (wicker man) you are about to watch, chances are you are watching a bad Nic Cage movie.

16. If Nic cage turns into a flaming Skeleton...

17. If Nic cage can see into the future, and the movie involves French terrorists... What?!?!?!?

18. If Nic Cage plays an retiring hit man headed for one last job in Bangkok, you are probably trying to cure your insomnia.

So let me say that while The Sorcerer's apprentice breaks many of these guidelines for Cage films, including the length of his hair. We will have to see if he can get some of that Disney magic and make a watchable movie.