In memoriam

Sorry I've been gone so long. Something funny coming soon hopefully.


Too bad Alec Baldwin doesn't want to act anymore. He's one of the greats, especially on this show.

Worst statement contest

name the worst single statement someone can make that is true.

to start

I once played just the tip and lost. True story.

Holiday movies

Hello again everyone. I hope you are all well. First and foremost, Dj Scratch ticket and I would like to wish you all a very happy Thanksgiving.

DJ ST: U makin me look like a fool again....

Ok... sorry about that.

As you can tell from the title, Scratch and I would like to chat with you about Holiday movies. I am sure you all have your favorites, (ours is Christmas vacation) but today we are covering the bad holiday movies. No I am not talking about Bad Santa. I am talking about really awful movies such as Jingle all the way. Movies that are so horrible, you laugh at them. Well today I am going to cover the horrible holiday movie that in my opinion started it all. I am sure many readers here have never stumbled across this movie, so I felt it appropriate that in the parlance of our time I discuss it. Some older readers may already be jumping to the conclusion that i will be reviewing the 1964 thrill a minute movie "Santa Conquers the Martians," and you of course would be wrong. While that movie is no doubt a watershed in the holiday movie library, it is not the worst......

I am going to review for you today a movie called "Santa Claus" (1959)

So let me set the scene. The movie was made in Mexico and as you can guess in 1959 with mostly Mexican actors. (I can already feel your excitement)

The movie opens with slides cards introducing the cast, while someone knock out some excellent Christmas tunes on a xylophone in what sounds like a basement. We are then introduced to Santa in his crystal palace where he lives in outer space. Santa moves to his organ and begins to play different notes that then show movies on a screen fixed to the organ of the kids that work with Santa to watch other kids and make toys.

At this point, we see that Santa works with kids all over the world. They show us the kids as the sing there native homeland songs. In case you were wondering, the US native song is Mary had a little lamb. By the end of the sequence you realize that Santa owns a sweatshop in the sky and may possible be a pedophile.

Anyway, after this we are introduced to Santa's nemesis, in this movie the devil. Lucifer (there term) then calls on Puck a demon of his to go to earth and tempt the kids into being naughty so that Santa will be angry.

Here is the point in the movie where you realize that most of the budget for the movie was spent on Santa's costume. The Demon is dressed in a red suit with the his face painted red and horns made from cardboard. This is comedy gold..... Also note that thankfully they had fog machines in 1959, or most of the special effects would be a flop.

On Puck's way up to earth to cause problems, (he is headed to Mexico City), he for some reason comes across a piece of paper that he holds and wants to have burst into flames. thing is you see that the paper is on fire before he even touches it.

Next we get to meet one of the stars of the film, the poor little Mexican girl Lupita. All Lupita wants for Christmas is a doll. Her family is to poor to buy her one so she is sad. Then we have 3 other Mexican boys who are naughty and a rich boy who just wants his parents to love him. that rounds out most of the cast except for one surprise cast member i will get to. So the Demon shows up trying to get Lupita and the rich boy to act bad. not happening. His next move shows the awesomeness of his powers as he summons 3 rocks out of nowhere for the 3 naughty boys to throw through a shop window..... Oh the powers of the devil!

(side note here, a plot based on getting Mexican kids to steal... way ahead of it's time.)

Next we see the demon attempt to affect the dreams of the child actors by whispering in there ears. This leads us into a creepy sequence where giant dolls dance around Lupita telling her to steal. At the end she questions whether Santa hates poor people. A great question in and of itself. (Again way ahead of it's time)

At this point Santa up in his crystal palace gets angry and prepares to head to earth for Christmas to deliver presents. Here is the moment we meet our surprise cast member, and really we should have seen this coming. As Santa prepares for his trip, he heads down to Merlin's lab to get what he needs for his trip. (That's right folks, Merlin the Magician helps Santa deliver his presents.) Merlin, gives Santa all the tricks and special powders he requires to bring us our presents every year. After this we get to meet Santa's reindeer, they are big and white and made of Styrofoam. this is explained by letting us know that Santa's reindeer are actually toys that he has to wind with a big key before he ventures out.

Santa then loads the sleigh and heads to earth. (We realize here Santa is either Senile or drunk, maybe both because he almost hits the moon on his way down to earth.) From here it is straight to...... you guessed it, MEXICO! where else would he go?

At this point I will end my review, I am sure I have wet your appetite enough that you would not want me to spoil any more of this absolute gem. If you want to find out what happens to dear Lupita in the end you will have to watch the movie for yourself. Once you do, you will also understand why I say "thank god for toy wind up cat's."

Enjoy the holiday movie season!

Mass$ + DJSC

Defending Fifty

While 50 Cent may not be roaming the streets as he once was, trying to defend himself against the other thugs out there, it is ignorant to think his life is without peril. The one thing my astute colleague Dutchmasters failed to recognize is the threat of the Entourage.

Many famous people have protectors and such that they travel with to and from guest appearances. Now when these groups meet up with one another, it can become down right scary. I have attached an article below where 50's crew ran into another entourage before a taping of Jimmy Kimmel.

While no shots were fired, you will understand by reading this that life for 50 is not all polo matches and Snorkeling.

http://www.latimes.com/sports/college/basketball/la-sp-sports-media20-2009nov20,0,4317417.story

Raaaaaandy

Raaaaaaaandy - Part 1 (Funny People) from Aziz Ansari

We could all use a DJ for our daily lives.

A Healthy Sports Hate

Bill Simmons, the Sport's Guy, recently wrote an article saying that he no longer has the Sport's Hate for a few of Boston's greatest rivals, namely Peyton Manning, Alex Rodriguez, and Kobe Bryant. His reasons being that over the past year all of these have broken their own stigmas. Kobe won without Shaq, A-rod actually hit the ball in the playoffs, and Peyton has managed not to choke recently. Fair enough argument, it's completely rational to no longer hate these players. However I think Bill Simmons has completely missed the biggest part of sport's hate; IT'S IRRATIONAL! We don't hate these guys because they're really bad people. We hate them because they play against our beloved Boston teams. It's not their fault really, but it's not my fault either. Boston has a history of being rivaled against the best teams around. New York, LA, Montreal; Boston loves to pick our biggest competitors to rival because we as fans thrive on big games. I look forward to Pats- Colts, Sox- Yanks, B's- Habs, Celts- Lakers, more than all the other regular season games combined. Winning these games is what makes a Boston Legend. And for every Legend, their has to be a Villain. Which is why, like a true Boston fan, I will always hate the following players, irrationally;

Peyton Manning

Reasons: He's a bad sport. Crying over official calls and bitching out teammates when they drop his passes. He doesn't perform under pressure and blames teammates when he blows the game. He also manages to take advantage of every media outlet, soaking up as much un-deserved fame as he can. I also have it on good authority that he eats his own young, which is how he stays so fit year after year.

Alex Rodriguez

Reasons: He's a cheater. Doing anything and everything to get an unfair advantage. Unfaithful to teams and wives, his character off the field directly matches his on field persona. Also a know practitioner of Scientology.

Kobe Bryant

Reasons: Always quick to blame anyone but himself for his failures, he berates refs and teammates when things don't go his way, throwing tantrums until he gets what he wants. Much like Wayne Brady, he has also been known to, "Smack a Bitch". It's also a little known fact that he desires to be a devil worshipper, however, his dyslexia hampers this, and he often wastes his animal sacrifices by killing them in the name of Santa.

Look out, mooooon!

Astronaut Jones
Uploaded by djgreenuts. - Watch more comedy videos and sitcoms.

Dig

Car Prototype: The Blumpkin Mobile

Failed Movie Ideas

Wale: Attention Deficit Review

After Kid Cudi's weird/good album, we now have Wale coming next out of the freshman pack. Definitely a much more straightforward hip hop album than Cudi, but will it be enough to stand out? The fact that Drake has stolen all the attention and wasn't even on the freshman cover of XXL last year makes it difficult for these guys to even have a chance.

Download

1. Triumph (prod. Dave Sitek): 3/5
This is what happens when you have rock/pop producers make hip hop beats. It's aaaalll right, but really, not very catchy. Thankfully it's short.

Choice lyric:
"She swallow everything like Kirby."



2. Mamma Told Me (prod. Best Kept Secret): 3/5
What's with the cheap chimes? Didn't Ja Rule use all of those already? This is also the same beat/sample that Dr. Dre used for Shit Popped Off by T.I.

I like Best Kept Secret's sound a lot, but I feel like he used his beat drum beats on the Mixtape About Nothing. Another kind of slow groove song that should have been in the middle of the album. Still waiting for Wale to start this album. Also, Wale seems to have trouble pronouncing a lot of words. Not as bad as Nelly, but still...

Also, bear witness to Wale stealing hooks and melodies worse than Kanye, Jay-Z, and Nate Dogg combined - "Mama said there'd be days like this"

Choice lyric:
"It's lonely at the top, so I'm playing solitaire patient."

Is he waiting for someone to play solitaire with him? Because that's always annoying.



3. Mirrors f. Bun B (prod. Mark Ronson): 5/5
Mark Ronson once again proving that he is the best white guy in hip hop. Such a great groove. And it's tough to argue with Bun B on any track. Plenty or great instrumentation, great pace. This should have been the opening track.

But why Wale, why are you stealing lame nursery rhymes hooks again? Bun B, check your boy.

Choice lyric:
"Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the realest of them all? No, he ain't hard at all."
Seems like Wale's disagreeing with the magic mirror's choice. Sorry bro, mirror don't lie. And further, I'm pretty sure Wale's pissed that the mirror's saying he's the hardest.



4. Pretty Girls f. Gucci Mane and Weensey (of Backyard Band) (prod. Best Kept Secret): 3/5
Another distracting drum beat from Best Kept Secret- I like the Go-Go sound, but listening to Rich Harrison do the same thing on tracks like Beyonce's Crazy in Love, Best Kept needs to realize that less is more. Then again, the fact that he does it on Fruity Loops is pretty amazing.

Choice lyric:
Gucci- "Girls ride me like a Huffy." Huffy? Really? I'd rather walk my bike than ride a Huffy.



5. World Tour f. Jazmine Sullivan (prod. Cool and Dre): 4/5
Cool and Dre not pissing me off like they do with every Game song they do, and Fat Joe, and DJ Khaled....

The piano bit feels very familiar, but not in a bad way. And of course we get another stolen hook from Wale. What's the point of having the R&B singer on the track if she's not going to sing an original hook for you?

Also, the skatting that Jazmine does at the end of the song, isn't that just a knock off of the McDonald's I'm Lovin It jingle?

Choice lyric:
"I did justice to J.U.S.T.I.C.E." So says you. I think the song was all right on it's own personally. No one's going to the clubs to listen to Wale.



6. Let It Loose (Inhibitions) f. Pharrell (prod. The Neptunes): 2/5
Once again, a Neptunes beat you know you're going to hate from the trademark 4-count to start the track. At least at the end Pharrell gets his 90's Timbo on and plays with the melody a little bit. But this is just a miserable hook, complete with no name chick agreeing with everything Pharrell says. "Yeah we do."

Choice lyric:
"Facebook..... twitter......, pose...... click" Aw cool, I use those! Pictures, I can just imagine the pictures Wale's taking during this song that I can't see.



7. 90210 (prod. Mark Ronson): 1/5
And then you go and do this, Mark Ronson? Who is this song for? Girls who played Zelda in the 80's and now are bulimic?

Choice lyric:
"She don't eat a meal when a toilet's not in sight." Wale is very in tune with the issues plaguing the modern woman. I love that this follows that Pharrell song too.


8. Shades f. Chrisette Michele (prod. Best Kept Secret & Juju): 3/5
A nice beat, if a bit unmemorable and bland. But then again, it's another song about all the colors of women, although I think the hook is about guys. Wale might want to be careful here. This song might also just be about candy. I don't know if I've ever seen someone licorice-colored, red or black.

Choice lyric:
"Boy you're so beautiful." Kinda wish Wale jumped in on the hook here and ad-libbed "Girl I mean."




9. Chillin’ f. Lady Gaga (prod. Cool and Dre): 3/5
This song alternates between being awful and good throughout. Wale stealing two hooks here is pretty impressive. "My name Wale" = Souljah Boy book of songwriting. The more you say your name the better; naming a dance after yourself is even better. Maybe the next time I'm just chilling out, I'll be doing the Wale.

Choice lyric:
"You got a buzz like Chris Mullin." Because I'm a Warriors fan.




10. TV In The Radio f. K’Naan (prod. Dave Sitek): 1/5
Really could have done without ever hearing this song. Annoying woodblock beat, old and busted horns, but I guess K'Naan needs a little shine once in a while. This song can end as soon as it likes. Hey, there's goes. All right, next song.

Choice lyric:
"Fat rhymes- Roseanne bars." Tom Arnold is warming up a rap beef soon.




11. Contemplate (prod. Syience): 4/5
Sometimes you just need to sample a little Rihanna and take the BPM's down to 70 or so to get an album back on track. A lush sound, nice groove. It works because it doesn't assault you like some of the other tracks on this album.

Choice lyric:
"In the Viper Room with River Phoenix." I guess he needs a shout out once in a while, especially if his brother's trying to get into the rap game.



12. Diary f. Marsha Ambrosius (prod. The Sleepwalkers): 3/5
I like the 3/4 time signature, and Marsha is great. To be honest though, this song kind of puts you to sleep, but in a good way... yeah. And you know that you're going to get the pencil writing in the diary sound effect here. No one uses pencils anymore.

Choice lyric:
"Nothing I ever do works. Diary of a Black girl" Wale getting metaphorical here. In fact, looking back, a lot of this song is about girls and not banging them, kind of like Kid Cudi. These new rappers are lovers, and not in a Biblical way.



13. Beautiful Bliss f. Melanie Fiona and J.Cole (prod. DJ Green Lantern and Mark Ronson): 4/5
The same sample as used by Lupe Fiasco on Theme Music to a Drive By and also the Young Gunz track, Future of the Roc, and not really used as well, but it's still a great melody.

Another song with a chick singing the hook, and don't you want to sing along with her, but sing "Come and knock on our door..." Maybe not. And you've got to be careful when doing a song like this that the other up and coming rapper on the track doesn't blow you out the of the water, because you know there ain't room for both of you next year.

Choice lyric:
"Like them socks we on your heels." Also, I like that J.Cole speaks the truth about Jay-Z and how much he cares about his artists, "I want him to pass the baton but he just pass the Patron."



14. Prescription (prod. Best Kept Secret): 4/5
A great last track, could've used a lot more jazz flute all over this album. Really solid music right here, although Wale gives himself and the name of the album a few too many shoutouts. I'm pretty sure I know what album this is. Kind of like on Jay-Z's last album, why were the first words out of his mouth Blueprint 3?

And can't go wrong with this acapella bit at the end.

Choice lyric:
"Ask Black Thought if I know my roots. Quest my love for this."




Overall: 3.5/5

Wale loves borrowing hooks, like on World Tour (Award=World in Wale talk) and Chillin'. Once again, a similar problem that happened to 50's album, where the album took so long to come out that a lot of the songs are 6 months old, and the others borrow samples from older songs, (seriously Wale, you never heard Lupe's song?) and the album never ends up sounding as current as it should. And the freshness of Pharrell is called into question on his contribution, which isn't quite as bad as what Swizz Beatz gives people, but pretty close.

This is one of those albums that has a lot of sour moments in it, but it feels right at so many points that you end up enjoying it. Skipping through the album though, I really only enjoy half of it or so. Wale's kind of doing the same thing on most of the early songs, flow wise, and then kind of doing the same thing, flow wise, on most of the later songs. But I do hope that this album gets Best Kept Secret and Mark Ronson more gigs. Wale.... you might get another album.

Shoot, Chingy's got about 5 so far.

Cannonball it

Mixed with a little Northen California sensimilla

The Na..... The Na.....

Why do they call it Europe anyways?

Heads up, but not too high...

...He's lucky that he wasn't dealing with a helicopter...

rn

Wrap it up

Oh look, cereal's on sale.

Prospector humor

If this is the stuff SNL leaves off the air....

Horatio Gooding III

During late 1993, a little known actor, Horatio Gooding III, arrived in NYC to work on Broadway. He had the surprising resemblance to one of America's hottest young actors often stunning crowds of people on the street with the resemblance to his older brother.

In his first performance as the lead role in the adaptation of Yuri Ormonov's "Forever My Big Bear" Horatio shined. He played Boris Yeltsin, Russia's then prime minister, whose obsession for world dominance was manifesting itself as a birth mark world map on his balding head. The often dry comedy set Manhattan's Broadway community on fire but before long Horatio was replaced with an actor that producers felt could draw a crowd to accommodate all the Buzz.

In the early part of 2004 Thomas Haden Church took over and Horatio's overnight success was gone. Short on money, he approached his brother with a scheme to "make Cuba everywhere." At first he thought that his brother's role as Boris Yeltsin and subsequent failure was leading him to spread the word of communism through a picturesque view of Cuba. Horatio soon made it apparent that it was far more personal than that.

By the spring of 1994, no one could understand how Cuba Gooding Jr. could be seen at a musical production in West Hollywood at the same time he was filming in North Africa, and frankly, no one cared. He became known not only as the "hardest working man in Hollywood" and "Hollywood's Teddy Bear" but also as "Double Trouble" because he seemed to have the energy and ability to do the work of two men. Little did anyone know that it was in fact two men.

Cuba Gooding Jr. and his younger brother Horatio worked relentlessly throughout the late 1990's filming 24 hours a day and staring simultaneously in 17 different films. Today, their work is virtually indistinguishable from one another, proving that both brothers had been stars in their own right. In the preceding trailer, Horatio Gooding III plays Bed Doyle in this witty and surprisingly "real" adaptation of Paul Hogan's self produced masterpiece, Lightning Jack.

A recent picture of the two together with the cast of Snow Dogs

How to Get Drunk Faster

This is another one of those things where you gotta wonder: who was the first?

Last nights dilemma

So last night I was sitting at a bar after a long day of work. I was enjoying some ice cold rolling rock's when the bar tender approached me and offered me a piece of candy. Now my mother always told me never to accept candy from strangers, and other than purchasing the aforementioned refreshing rolling rock from this young lady, I really didn't know her. On the other hand, I am a big fan of candy and I had not eaten anything since lunch. I am sure the rest of you would have declined or maybe asked her a couple questions and get to know her. Not me, the idea of delicious candy was to overwhelming and I accepted the candy.

Why Can't The Bruins Do this?

...At Madison Square Garden, on December 23, 1979...



...The Bruins have been losing a lot more games this season, but couldn't they give their fans and ratings a boost by giving them a taste of something reminiscent of the "Big Bad Bruins" from the "BoSToN Garden" 30 years ago? It's scary to think of how big and scary Capt. Zdeno Chara and Milan Lucic are when they are on the ice...Yikes!...

rn

Women's Soccer Has Its Perks

My favorite part is when she kicks the ball into the other girl's face.

Why 50 Cent makes me sad

 
My main issue with 50 Cent is that this is the album he should have released years ago. When was the last time 50 Cent saw a gun? When was the last time he even smoked a doobie? 

The guy sells water with vitamins in it. He wrote a self help book. He's releasing a cologne. The guy isn't killing people anymore.  

It's funny because people criticize Jay-Z for the exact opposite thing, that he doesn't do songs like he used to. Jay-Z doesn't write songs about selling crack anymore because he doesn't sell crack anymore. He writes songs about being 30 something and taking a lot of vacations.  

50 Cent is interesting because in a very short amount of time he has become one of the richest musicians of the 21st century. He could be playing polo in District 9 or some other exotic stuff, but instead he takes a 2 second monotonous loop and puts it on repeat for three minutes so he can talk about being in the streets and not being in the streets at the same time.  

He writes a love song to his gun? For starters, 2Pac already did it, and Jay-Z already covered it. If I listen to this song, am I going to play it for my pistol, maybe make my Glock a mixtape for its birthday? So what's left? Entertainment value? That's basically Eminem's whole gimmick, but at least he has talent in delivery, pronunciation, and flow.  

50 Cent has his melodies, which is what sets him apart from other rappers. He has a way of making a song very catchy and clever, and before you know it, he's got you humming along. "Go shorty, it's your birthday." Unfortunately, that was a long time ago. The fact that he has not progressed is unfortunate, because he's a gimmick musician who's running out of gimmicks.  

The reason I like songs like Baby By Me and Could Have Been You is because they're funny. It's all a big joke. 50 Cent gets it. And to be honest, the rest of the songs on this CD are a joke too, just not delivered as well. When he says that he needs his gun to hold him down, he is not being serious. But if the music is lame, or uninteresting, then why should I bother?  

And 50 Cent is obviously a very interesting person. But because of this whole notion of what a 50 Cent album should be, he keeps milking the gangster cow. Why is it that the richest man in hip hop writes the most rudimentary, offensive, unnecessary songs?  

Why does 50 Cent refuse to be a musician? He has all the opportunities in the world. He is progressive and intelligent in all of his other business moves. Maybe it's because, like Diddy, like Jay-Z, he knows that there's no money in music anymore, at least not for him. It's just for guys like Souljah Boy who spend 20 bucks making an album and become so rich off of one track that they put out videos on youtube showing them blow their noses with $20's and riding around their two story condo on a Segway.  

I'm impressed this album even came out, after 50 Cent released two dud singles (Get Up and I Get It In, really strong titles by the way, especially to match the strong music they represent) he was delayed a year. In fact, he was delayed even more because this was supposed to be his third album and the record company wouldn't let him release it and instead he had to make music with Akon and Timbaland/Timberlake.  

I would be very surprised to see 50 Cent put out more albums. He killed himself just like he killed Ja Rule, and of course, he is being replaced by someone with even less street cred than him, Rick Ross, who has actually admitted to being a cop before selling cocaine.  

50, leave the guns to the athletes. They're hood rich compared to you. We want to hear 50 Cent Goes Snorkeling.

You don't have to watch the whole thing...

But it will brighten your day.

Pedro is on the Mound, and he is going to throw Gas!!!

Some People

Some People think that opening up a sweater to reveal cleavage defeats the purpose of a sweater. I can't understand Some People.

Government injustice

Alright people, it is time to take to the streets! There is a movement a foot in the government that will directly affect our seniors. I am sure many of you have some very strong feelings about this subject as it has been quite the debate this year.

Now I am not one to go all political on you, but this has gone too far. We need to protect our senior citizens and their rights. After reading the following article I am sure you will all agree we need to organize tea parties and attend any local town hall meetings before this starts to affect all of us.

Warning! the following article may be shocking to some viewers!

http://www.telegram.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20091103/NEWS/911030327

After reading this I am sure you are just as outraged as I am! If seniors cannot have as many cats as the want, how will they defend there house? who will protect them? THIS MUST END NOW. Please add your comments below on any ideas you may have to help the cause.

-Mass $ + DJ SC

For those of who had difficulty understanding the last few posts...

Forthwith and without explanation.

Intro Lyrics From the MegaMillions debut album YO' Friendly Neighbor-HOOD

I got a Nickel -Yo' Scratch Hit The Ticket
You Know it's One in a Million-
But I'm so thrillin'
Here to Poop on your life
Shit on your wife
Grab a Knife and Slice Slice Slice
What's left of your life
into two dollar strife's
Between you and yours over
the next big score
I'm Megamillions and I'm here to Ruin
Yo' Life
One Dolla the price
It always so shiny and clean
inside the liquor store you lost all your hopes and your dreams
Where you lost all of your means......
I'm Out. Peace. Whatever.
I'm Just Yo' Friendly Neighbor-HOOD

An Interview w/ DJ Scratch Ticket

MC: Yo Scratch man, seems like you been upset recently, care to let the folks out there know what's going on?

DJ ST: Absolutely... I be real upset with this whole pig aids thing.. I mean why these people been gettin wid da pigs? Like ma Boy jewl say in Pulp fiction, it be a filth animal so why you wanna get wid dat? lyin in da mud all day eatin garbage, that is just nasty.

MC: Ummmmm I'm not sure that's how it works scratch... i think it is passed like the reagular flu.

DJ ST: Oh now you trippin on me?!? tryin to tell me some %$@#? let me tell u sumtin, I be in da no. I heard all dis pig kissin stuff goin on and i no dis to be how it start. like you no anyting to be takin to me!

MC: Take it easy there scratch... let's not say things we will later regret.

DJ ST: Look Mista brown shoes are so special.... I have a hole clik a folk that be on board wid dis an i tryin to get them talkin. Go drown your ass in a reef and let a dingo eat you baby....ain't nobody want no Bitch ass who cant keep his bitch ass lips closed.

MC: And on that note we will end the interview here......

Tune in next week when we discuss current events.

end transcript.

so Sirry- great halloween costumes

And, for some of our older viewers:

Never Forget

Don't fear fans of Red Sox Nation. The Yankees may be close to victory, but there's always hope when the clinching game comes down to Mr. April.

We may be out this year, but there's always 2004.

an awful night.....

This is an exerpt from my upcoming book (Bloggin and Hoggin)....

After a very humorous night partying in Gloucester at a friends house. I had the absolute worst end to an evening of drinking in a long time. let me set the scene.....

I come home from drinking way to much. I am feeling like it is time for bed. when i get back to my parents house, I realize all the lights in the house are off. So since I don't want to wake anyone up, I take off my flip flops so there will be no noise as I ascend to my room. I stop in the back room to grab a water on my way as I know I am going to be hung over. After grabbing water and a bag of chips i make my way up stairs. Upon reaching the upper level, take 3 steps towards my room, and am just outside of the bathroom when I step into something that resembles the consistency of Cheesecake. at this point, I am inebriated enough to actually believe that someone may have left cheesecake on the floor. Unfortunately I was quickly overcome by the smell of feces. our old family dog had had diarrhea on the carpet just outside of my bathroom..... it was squished up between my toes... I quickly walked on my heel into the bathroom, trying not to track it around the floor. As I am sitting on the sink washing my foot, the smell finally overwhelms me and I throw up all over myself....

At this point I am pissed. I strip off the shirt, wash my foot and just head to bed. in the morning, I realize as I walk into the bathroom, that I had not done a very good job cleaning up as the bathroom is just gross. with my hangover in full stride. I go about cleaning up while throwing up another 2 times. I bet all of you are feeling better about your Monday now....

Case of the Mondays

I wonder who's paying for dinner after the game.

Post Yankees Game Thought

Johnny Damon as MVP?

CC left in one pitch too many.

And was Posada caught trying to limp out a double so that Rivera could have a save opportunity by being the third out at a three run lead, rather than keep the rally going?