Things I like
-When someone shows up to class twice as stoned as you are and you are no longer the most fucked up kid in the room. especially when the teacher calls on them a lot and they always answer '.......wait, what was the question?'
-They way a girl says 'mhm' when you tell her she's about to get a shot in the mouth.
-when a girl leaves promptly in the morning after spending the night and you get like 2 more hours of sleep in an empty bed.
-being drunk enough that you don't mind walking home because there is always some sort of miscieviousness to get into.
-Wearing a button down shirt on a night you get black out then finding stuff in the breast pocket the next morning like cash or a girls #
-Directly contradicting extremely stupid people
-Directly contradicting extremely religious people
-Directly contradicting extremely political people
-Marathons on tv where they play sequels back to back
Things I don't like
-Anerobic Exercise or maybe Aerobic i cant remember which, the one that involves running
-Girls with chapped lips
-Girls who think they are hot because they are the only reasonable piece of ass at a party.
-Hanging out with, or even seeing, a drunken mistake when you're sober and having flashbacks that you had hoped were buried deep in your blackout subconcious
-Complicated bras and outfits, it honestly makes me avoid girls with too many buttons.
-When sober people disregard what you're saying because they think you're rambling drunk. I give great advice wasted.
-Drunk people who don't want you to drive because they think you're as drunk as they are.
-Patrick Swayze
Monday, January 14, 2008
transformers discussion
Transformers discussion
Transformers is the type of movie that really hit it's stride in telling a story. Transforming robots is a tough theme to fill 2.5 hours, so why is this the quickest 2 and a half hours ever? I think it has something to do with the rapid fire style of storytelling combined with 3 sets of really likable characters.
#1- Shia and the hot chick. The reason this works is because the director happened to get Shia right in his prime, before we got tired of him. so Shia- good. hot chick-is a wicked hot chick. nothing wrong with that. These two are a good combo because Shia has enough jokes especially about or involving the hot chick. classic.
#2- the army guy and his unit (hehe unit). Good combo here too. Army guy has a cute family which is barely introduced but draws in the sympathy vote. The group of army guys has some classic jokes while also providing a manly band of brothers type situation.
#3- hot scientist lady and the nerds. Nerds can go either way in a movie, they can be hysterical ala porkey's, revenge of the nerds, goonies, ben affleck, superbad and i think micheal bay knows this. so who does he get to be his main nerd? Anthony fucking Anderson. Brilliant.
Now here's the best part of this movie, any of these story lines could have fllled an entire 2 hour movie with maybe some filler. Instead we take all three story lines and mix them together with giant transforming alien robots. Even if you dont one set of these characters, you're bound to like at least 2 of them. and even if you dont, there is still the piece de resistance; the robots. They are what make the movie unique. They could have really gone either way. If the robots had bad dialouge and done lame shit, this movie would have sucked big time. Bay uses the fact that people were going to be very skeptical about how the robots look and act by building up a suspense to see them. He knows we spent 10$ to see his robots yet he waits to introduce them. Besides the first few scenes with the decepticons and a few quick shots of bumblebee, we dont get to see the robots up close and personal until an hour and 15 minutes into the movie. thats half way into the flick! It's brilliant because we're desperate to see them at that point, yet he satisfies the craving and then some with a full hour of pure robot action. The build up to seeing the robots really builds an attachment so that when you finally do see them, its amazing. For annisquam 2 we can use this same element with the ghost pirates. Not only can we use suspense for comedic effect, but we can also use it to get people drawn into the ghost pirates. We could use a signs type approach of just a few quick glances and sounds off our creatures. Transformers shows us that action/adventure can still be hilarious and in some ways much more comedicly satisfying than the garden variety comedy where you expect to laugh.
Transformers is the type of movie that really hit it's stride in telling a story. Transforming robots is a tough theme to fill 2.5 hours, so why is this the quickest 2 and a half hours ever? I think it has something to do with the rapid fire style of storytelling combined with 3 sets of really likable characters.
#1- Shia and the hot chick. The reason this works is because the director happened to get Shia right in his prime, before we got tired of him. so Shia- good. hot chick-is a wicked hot chick. nothing wrong with that. These two are a good combo because Shia has enough jokes especially about or involving the hot chick. classic.
#2- the army guy and his unit (hehe unit). Good combo here too. Army guy has a cute family which is barely introduced but draws in the sympathy vote. The group of army guys has some classic jokes while also providing a manly band of brothers type situation.
#3- hot scientist lady and the nerds. Nerds can go either way in a movie, they can be hysterical ala porkey's, revenge of the nerds, goonies, ben affleck, superbad and i think micheal bay knows this. so who does he get to be his main nerd? Anthony fucking Anderson. Brilliant.
Now here's the best part of this movie, any of these story lines could have fllled an entire 2 hour movie with maybe some filler. Instead we take all three story lines and mix them together with giant transforming alien robots. Even if you dont one set of these characters, you're bound to like at least 2 of them. and even if you dont, there is still the piece de resistance; the robots. They are what make the movie unique. They could have really gone either way. If the robots had bad dialouge and done lame shit, this movie would have sucked big time. Bay uses the fact that people were going to be very skeptical about how the robots look and act by building up a suspense to see them. He knows we spent 10$ to see his robots yet he waits to introduce them. Besides the first few scenes with the decepticons and a few quick shots of bumblebee, we dont get to see the robots up close and personal until an hour and 15 minutes into the movie. thats half way into the flick! It's brilliant because we're desperate to see them at that point, yet he satisfies the craving and then some with a full hour of pure robot action. The build up to seeing the robots really builds an attachment so that when you finally do see them, its amazing. For annisquam 2 we can use this same element with the ghost pirates. Not only can we use suspense for comedic effect, but we can also use it to get people drawn into the ghost pirates. We could use a signs type approach of just a few quick glances and sounds off our creatures. Transformers shows us that action/adventure can still be hilarious and in some ways much more comedicly satisfying than the garden variety comedy where you expect to laugh.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
and if you dont know....
-Building a robot with a personality to do all your work so you can sit around all day only the robot ends up following your example and becomes extremely lazy and starts smoking weed all day. Ends up moving out and becoming a drug dealer.
-Watching a drug bust out my window, smoking bowls. Honestly, what were these guys thinking driving a sketchy white van with no windows in the back while mexican. Guess they can change the name of the restaurant to the 'harboring house'. that van just screams illegal immigrant.
-Chinese food restaurant that advertises it's other companies through subliminal fortune cookies, 'new rugs are in your future', 'window cleaning sale benefits you today', or even just straight up ransom. ' bring 50 dollars to back alley for antidote to kung pow chicken'
-Getting at some of that rich old oil tycoon money by remarrying the chicks who just married them for their money.
-pills for restless leg syndrome, side effects may include drowziness, unexplained nausea, diarrea, increased sexual and gambling urges. and thats a cure?
-network execs moved too quick turning the geico cavemen into a show. i'd rather see a show about real vicious cavemen that run around our society unchecked and roam in packs attacking at random stealing babies and eating puppies, but at the same time live in our system and but car insurance.
-calling someone and whispering '7 days' and then stealing their remote and turning their tv on and off so they think the little girl from the ring is after them.
-hooking up with the girl who works at staples by telling her you'll push her easy button.
-trying to date a girl who's big into coke but only snorting sweet n low. sugar highs and lows end up making you just as jittery so the girl ends up thinking your hardcore,
-dating a girl who actually has an aunt named flo who is always showing up and being a cock blocking lesbian bitch.
-'to the tune of kanye's champion' Do you realize? that you're socks are made by champion?
-guy bungee jumping with a tortilla chip just like in the tostitos ad, but when he gets all the way to the bottom the chip breaks off in the salsa.
-Copying the scene in the departed where Frenchy? and another guy are talking about how anyone who's not paying attention to them must be a cop only instead every girl who doesnt pay attention must be a lesbian.
-what if you could learn a text book by smoking the pages?
-DJ Vito, italian mc at the harbor house (real person)
-Watching a drug bust out my window, smoking bowls. Honestly, what were these guys thinking driving a sketchy white van with no windows in the back while mexican. Guess they can change the name of the restaurant to the 'harboring house'. that van just screams illegal immigrant.
-Chinese food restaurant that advertises it's other companies through subliminal fortune cookies, 'new rugs are in your future', 'window cleaning sale benefits you today', or even just straight up ransom. ' bring 50 dollars to back alley for antidote to kung pow chicken'
-Getting at some of that rich old oil tycoon money by remarrying the chicks who just married them for their money.
-pills for restless leg syndrome, side effects may include drowziness, unexplained nausea, diarrea, increased sexual and gambling urges. and thats a cure?
-network execs moved too quick turning the geico cavemen into a show. i'd rather see a show about real vicious cavemen that run around our society unchecked and roam in packs attacking at random stealing babies and eating puppies, but at the same time live in our system and but car insurance.
-calling someone and whispering '7 days' and then stealing their remote and turning their tv on and off so they think the little girl from the ring is after them.
-hooking up with the girl who works at staples by telling her you'll push her easy button.
-trying to date a girl who's big into coke but only snorting sweet n low. sugar highs and lows end up making you just as jittery so the girl ends up thinking your hardcore,
-dating a girl who actually has an aunt named flo who is always showing up and being a cock blocking lesbian bitch.
-'to the tune of kanye's champion' Do you realize? that you're socks are made by champion?
-guy bungee jumping with a tortilla chip just like in the tostitos ad, but when he gets all the way to the bottom the chip breaks off in the salsa.
-Copying the scene in the departed where Frenchy? and another guy are talking about how anyone who's not paying attention to them must be a cop only instead every girl who doesnt pay attention must be a lesbian.
-what if you could learn a text book by smoking the pages?
-DJ Vito, italian mc at the harbor house (real person)
Things I like (written while sleeping in Psych class)
-Waking up somewhere you don't remember falling asleep in, especially naked in a girl's bed (it's probably better if she's gone too, and you don't look around for pictures of her)
-Doing stupid shit
-Hot chicks who like me- wink, staring contest, light graze, the thrill of the hunt- it's really what makes life interesting and worthwhile
-Beer in a bottle
-Ice water
-My iPhone that I got for $400 instead of $600
-Doing stupid shit
-Hot chicks who like me- wink, staring contest, light graze, the thrill of the hunt- it's really what makes life interesting and worthwhile
-Beer in a bottle
-Ice water
-My iPhone that I got for $400 instead of $600
Things I hate (written in Psych class)
-Psych class
-Girls who raise their hand while the professor is looking down and wonder why they aren't being called on.
-People who ask for the time when a clock is easily visible
-Wool hats in 70-80 degree weather
-Those stupid hats that Cuban revolutionaries wear, with the short brim and the poofy top
-Beanies with visors (unless worn backwards or sidewayz)
-Smart-asses who sit in the front of the room
-Guys with earrings, especially white boys with iceberg (probably fake)
-ugly girl's butt cracks
-people with no upper lip
-people with terrible teeth who always smile
-girls who look hot at first, especially out of the corner of your eye forcing you to turn your head, but then get worse and worse
-People who read, especially incredibly esoteric works, and then refer to the books in class as if everyone has read them. (Especially in community college- go do some drugs or something)
-People who have a problem with me saying black or mexican
-People who wear shirts like "Stop Genocide!"
-Half-assed Blow J's (or even 3/4 of a beej)
-chicks who are self-conscious about their ugly nipples
-ugly nipples
-bellies that stick out further than titties
-bush
-Girls who raise their hand while the professor is looking down and wonder why they aren't being called on.
-People who ask for the time when a clock is easily visible
-Wool hats in 70-80 degree weather
-Those stupid hats that Cuban revolutionaries wear, with the short brim and the poofy top
-Beanies with visors (unless worn backwards or sidewayz)
-Smart-asses who sit in the front of the room
-Guys with earrings, especially white boys with iceberg (probably fake)
-ugly girl's butt cracks
-people with no upper lip
-people with terrible teeth who always smile
-girls who look hot at first, especially out of the corner of your eye forcing you to turn your head, but then get worse and worse
-People who read, especially incredibly esoteric works, and then refer to the books in class as if everyone has read them. (Especially in community college- go do some drugs or something)
-People who have a problem with me saying black or mexican
-People who wear shirts like "Stop Genocide!"
-Half-assed Blow J's (or even 3/4 of a beej)
-chicks who are self-conscious about their ugly nipples
-ugly nipples
-bellies that stick out further than titties
-bush
Psychology Class Notes- Only went twice
-The feminist acrosss the room makes me wish I had a grenade.
-After I got tequila'd up (which when I drink, doesn't get me drunk, but rather acts like a fast forward button on my life- I just wake up the next morning) and pissed so much in my room it leaked through the floor onto the kitchen table, I realzied I had a problem and bought a porta pottie.
-Things I learned:
Dudes always show up late for class (unless they gay)
Dudes never do the assignment on time (unless they ")
Dudes never ask questions about the homework (unless they ")
-In fact, there should be an after-school mafia that beats up the kids who remind teachers to collect homework.
-When I see ugly chicks laughing at jokes about how good sex is, it almost makes me what to quit drinking because I could be that guy that gave her the opportunity to share in that joke.
-In a room full of ugly chicks, the hot chick looks much sluttier. Maybe because every guy in the room is eye-fucking that cornea whore. (Did she just look at me? She wants it, uh uh, she wants it, and Ima give it to her.)
-Honestly there's only so many BJ's that can make up for certain deformities. There needs to be a chart or some sort of diagram. One wart= one extra HJ, each pimple is one more minute of slobbin the knobbin. Missing a limb- hope it's not a leg because I'm definitely getting a foot job.
-After I got tequila'd up (which when I drink, doesn't get me drunk, but rather acts like a fast forward button on my life- I just wake up the next morning) and pissed so much in my room it leaked through the floor onto the kitchen table, I realzied I had a problem and bought a porta pottie.
-Things I learned:
Dudes always show up late for class (unless they gay)
Dudes never do the assignment on time (unless they ")
Dudes never ask questions about the homework (unless they ")
-In fact, there should be an after-school mafia that beats up the kids who remind teachers to collect homework.
-When I see ugly chicks laughing at jokes about how good sex is, it almost makes me what to quit drinking because I could be that guy that gave her the opportunity to share in that joke.
-In a room full of ugly chicks, the hot chick looks much sluttier. Maybe because every guy in the room is eye-fucking that cornea whore. (Did she just look at me? She wants it, uh uh, she wants it, and Ima give it to her.)
-Honestly there's only so many BJ's that can make up for certain deformities. There needs to be a chart or some sort of diagram. One wart= one extra HJ, each pimple is one more minute of slobbin the knobbin. Missing a limb- hope it's not a leg because I'm definitely getting a foot job.
this is how we roll
-Putting a patent on names that begin with i- so that apple has to pay you when they finally invent it. i-toilet, i-wife, i-blow up sex doll..
-Cincinatti Bengals getting bought out by Bengay, change mascot to a hemroid
-Judging girls by candy bar sizes; fun size, king size, tear n' share.
- Learning about taste buds in class, stoned kids in the back misunderstand and think lesson is about tasty buds.
-Seeing eye monkey who helps you tell if a girl is hot or not.
-Calling a blind guy greedy for having a hot wife
-Describing a girl as " do it with the lights on good"
-Annisquam: High in High Society
-Become a proffesional arguer and just argue with people until they pay you for no reason.
-Bringing a portable grill to class and grilling up some burgers in the back.
-Puerto Rican guy who bumps techno so loud you can hear him coming for miles, when he finally gets out of car, pulls out an i-phone with attached subwoofer and continues to pump gasolina by daddy yankee
-Telling a cop on a horse that you're allergic in order to avoid a ticket.
-Ways to get famous;
-Get shot
-Straight up Piracy
-Saving people from fires, possibly setting fires first.
- moving into meerkat manor.
-Answers heard at north shore community college to the question of what country you would hit if you drove south from the u.s. : Cuba, South America, Central America.
-Songs that fat joe should have wrote, instead of lean back; sit down. 'bitch make me a sandwich', jump up, jump up, and then nap.
-Your gene pool needs chlorine
-falling asleep in class then waking up in the next, getting credit for both.
-gay guy who falls in love with his proctologist
-calling up recorded audio services and choosing the spanish option as a cheap alternative to spanish lessons
-Asking a guy in a slayer shirt if he's heard the new kanye.
-Optimus Prime singing 'ayo technology"
-Launch driver with missing 'a' on his jacket meets an actual lunch driver who drops off peoples lunches
-Kids waiting for a class to start on the first day finally realize class is a scam when they see the teachers name is Rusty Giblits.
-Teacher who pretends to be student on the first day of class to see how long kids will wait before leaving, possibly encourages rest of class to leave to avoid work.
-Signing up for pyschology classes to meet crazy girls.
-Old Lady teaching computer classes at community college on type writer. Was around for the first computer, still uses it. Thinks technology is work of the devil and advises students to avoid them for fear of possesion. Scared of how quickly computer works. Takes lots of naps. bakes cookies, but then yells at kids if they try and eat them. Gives lectures about how easier things are now a days. uses words like 'pianist' without laughing. bitter that computers can do everything she had to learn to do herself, tries to race computer with math skills, loses.
-Waiting outside pre-med classes to impress girls then leaving before class starts.
-Signing up funny names in class just to hear them called during morning list off, maybe using celebrity names. also keeps down class numbers.
- Homeless guy with high hopes, his sign reads " Will work for above average wage, warm bed, health plan and options for early retirement"
Saturday, January 12, 2008
First!
Random Thoughts
-Mixtape to play at babys birth: Born in the USA Bruce Springsteen, Titties and beer if its a boy, She swallowed it if its a girl- teach them young
-At a costume party throwing game at a dude in drag
-Giving someone pimples in their sleep in the shape of something by rubbing oil on certain spots
-Getting famous by using free advertising by getting in the google earth picture
-Not writing on a passed out black guy because you can't see it or using wite-out
-Bullseyes on urinal cakes
-Burning fingertips to lose fingerprints
-Placing a dresser outside and having it shake as people go by thinking there's something in it
-Having nightmares every night of your life
-"Never fall victim to a chicken you might be sticking even if if you think the punani is fingerlicking" - Guru
-80's music as you pull up to the spot- different song every time for same character
-Different hiphop quote to begin each episode with different theme song every episode
-Better Late Than Never delivery
-Rice rocket with fire extinguisher in case engine explodes
-Photo book- Big Man, Little Bitch: pictures of wrestlers and their dogs
-"Dump in her gut, raw from the giddy up, better choose the right pump or pick the kiddies up"- Big Boi
-Ballin on a budget- getting a hybrid Piece model kit for the back of your car to fool the hippie chick
-Staring at blind people, arguing with a blind guy for wearing headphones while walking around
-Former homeless guy being domesticated/guy becoming homeless for the first time learning tricks of the trade
-Making fun of homeless people in a movie is okay because are they ever going to find out unless someone tells them and they scrounge together the cash, watch it and rise up against
-No problem cussing out the deaf, staring at the blind, putting hot sauce on the tasteless guys burger, giving a girl with no nose a dirty sanchez, feeling up a big boobed chick without the sense of touch
-Blinding silence
-Putting a cigarette through the gromit hole in your ear to hang onto it, or putting an earring through the gromit
-Meter maid's little cart getting towed
-Van driving by with everyone inside but one guy with their shirts over their noses
-Why is there always one guy getting pulled over on a traffic jam? How the hell is he speeding?
-Crime scene tape around a playground
-"Its a whole lot easier fucking girls you don't like when you're drunk. I know that may sound harsh, but in my defense, a lot of them were drunk too. If anyone was being taken advantage of it was me, and that had to stop." - you kill me
-I saw a license plate that said dnglbry
-Sitting down to pee to make less noise in the middle of the night
-"I'm a star twinkle twinkle mofo" bray
-Pissing on a security system to short out intercom/keypad
-Supersize me 2: doing the eating only mcdonalds when the monopoly game is going on
-Halloween costume- Siamese twins: guy with skeleton attached to hip
-Keeping funeral tags on your car to get sympathy treatment while driving
-Rock band name: Flappy Badge
-High school yearbook quote: facial reconstruction surgery coming soon or a girl leaves her number and she'll be slutting it up in 10 years if anyones interested
-Chazz dog is a white chow yun fat
-Prank calls back on telemarketers
-Cocky conscience
-Gluing a picture of a chick's face to your hand
-"You the kind of girl make me wanna grip that handle and let shots off in the air busting at random." -Akon
-Having a desk/office in a parking garage
-My fan club president: my dog
-Turning 21 a second time to redo a year
-Creepy neighbors: calling you to welcome you to the neighborhood
-Nerd's highest quality porn: embrace of the vampire/poison ivy 2 alyssa milano deuce pack. It has the old-school who's the boss? Feel to it, and catches her just before her charmed no-nudity or having sex with rash-procuring plants and night-walking canine-endowed white people clause.
-No country for old man (a simple story with life-changing dialogue and a true ending) a companion piece to raising Arizona (not necessarily in meaning but moreso in terms of character, structure, setting, and situation)
-on a piece of toast there is a face perhaps of a biblical figure
-ugk has many interesting musical ideas and elements that grow underwhelmed by reused sounds that should have last been heard 5 years ago. But with such a great kick and bass sound (mostly because of completely unique southern buy a new woofer for the car every album because we're gonna bass the shit out of them) and if there was ever a song I'd want to hear chopped and screwed it would absolutely be international players anthem. The beginning of the track, i though my file was corrupted and skipping. After fonally making the effort to pick up the iPod and check to see how quickly the song was playing, it started. It seems that, the same way a certain three chord harmony will drive a punk rock FAM to Spatz out into doing the epileptic dance. Ugk seems to affect the ears of Texas differently maybe purp really does the trick
-Freeway's album has several amazing tracks, however rather than being average tracks where every sound is equally mediocre, freeway has incredible beats that are done a misservice due to production. Too much hihat, crashing breakbeats that make instrumentals but impossible to hear vocals, the problem being that freeway sounds great over bombastic soul, but maybe with the levels remixed. It makes some songs difficult to listen to. However the samples are flipped brilliantly combining unique vocals with such a varied textured organic sound. Dragon-slaying snare in walk with me.
-Do blind people step in their guide dog's shit a lot?
-Student gets Sat scores revoked because he tested positive for steroids
-Is it just me or are there no bald homeless people? I guess its got something going for it, stress-free lifestyle and all
-"hit a blind guy today while I was drivng. Came out of nowhere. Didn't even see him." "thats funny that you didn't see him."
-"you can mess up the sheets girl it is what it is- squirter!" -Yung Berg
-Dirty old man first scene girl at movie old man sits down next to her
-Slashing someones tires after they get a boot
-Its not rape if you apologize
-Standing in front of a bus stop movie poster and blending in with the picture
-As I was making a left turn a kid was running across the street and smacked right into the side of my van
-Special Ed: The notion of being special: destined for greatness, chosen by fate or something else- a out of control van is about to crash into a group of children and the teacher throws one of them to safety. Later on that boy grows up and is walking along when a huge explosion goes off over his head in a building above him and he runs in to help.He later on a whim buys a series of bus tickets off ebay and travels the country
-Driving mittens/nose muffs- in annisquam there is only one day of winter
-Ghost movie starring real ghosts- or kill an actor
-Music contests with other musicians, film contests with other directors
-Prepaid pizza plan
-Horn that honks behind you
-Lesser known allied powers in WWII: the north pole
-Fat Jesus
-Vag stamp, hip stamp
-A car so old that it uses a tiny old timey skeleton key
-Straws with a grooved edge to fit the mouth better
-Most ridiculously good jobs: Life caddy, Alcohol tolerance tester,
-Knuckle fucking scum cunt
-Revving the defrost at a stop sign in the winter
-Inside woman- caveman porn
-Two double sided mirrors facing each other in order to see infinity
-Trying to describe a fat chick without mentioning her size
-Delivery guy waiting forever at the door, starts to take a piss and then has to stop when they finally come to the door
-Blumpkin roll brand toilet paper
-Billy762 and counting
-Mixtape to play at babys birth: Born in the USA Bruce Springsteen, Titties and beer if its a boy, She swallowed it if its a girl- teach them young
-At a costume party throwing game at a dude in drag
-Giving someone pimples in their sleep in the shape of something by rubbing oil on certain spots
-Getting famous by using free advertising by getting in the google earth picture
-Not writing on a passed out black guy because you can't see it or using wite-out
-Bullseyes on urinal cakes
-Burning fingertips to lose fingerprints
-Placing a dresser outside and having it shake as people go by thinking there's something in it
-Having nightmares every night of your life
-"Never fall victim to a chicken you might be sticking even if if you think the punani is fingerlicking" - Guru
-80's music as you pull up to the spot- different song every time for same character
-Different hiphop quote to begin each episode with different theme song every episode
-Better Late Than Never delivery
-Rice rocket with fire extinguisher in case engine explodes
-Photo book- Big Man, Little Bitch: pictures of wrestlers and their dogs
-"Dump in her gut, raw from the giddy up, better choose the right pump or pick the kiddies up"- Big Boi
-Ballin on a budget- getting a hybrid Piece model kit for the back of your car to fool the hippie chick
-Staring at blind people, arguing with a blind guy for wearing headphones while walking around
-Former homeless guy being domesticated/guy becoming homeless for the first time learning tricks of the trade
-Making fun of homeless people in a movie is okay because are they ever going to find out unless someone tells them and they scrounge together the cash, watch it and rise up against
-No problem cussing out the deaf, staring at the blind, putting hot sauce on the tasteless guys burger, giving a girl with no nose a dirty sanchez, feeling up a big boobed chick without the sense of touch
-Blinding silence
-Putting a cigarette through the gromit hole in your ear to hang onto it, or putting an earring through the gromit
-Meter maid's little cart getting towed
-Van driving by with everyone inside but one guy with their shirts over their noses
-Why is there always one guy getting pulled over on a traffic jam? How the hell is he speeding?
-Crime scene tape around a playground
-"Its a whole lot easier fucking girls you don't like when you're drunk. I know that may sound harsh, but in my defense, a lot of them were drunk too. If anyone was being taken advantage of it was me, and that had to stop." - you kill me
-I saw a license plate that said dnglbry
-Sitting down to pee to make less noise in the middle of the night
-"I'm a star twinkle twinkle mofo" bray
-Pissing on a security system to short out intercom/keypad
-Supersize me 2: doing the eating only mcdonalds when the monopoly game is going on
-Halloween costume- Siamese twins: guy with skeleton attached to hip
-Keeping funeral tags on your car to get sympathy treatment while driving
-Rock band name: Flappy Badge
-High school yearbook quote: facial reconstruction surgery coming soon or a girl leaves her number and she'll be slutting it up in 10 years if anyones interested
-Chazz dog is a white chow yun fat
-Prank calls back on telemarketers
-Cocky conscience
-Gluing a picture of a chick's face to your hand
-"You the kind of girl make me wanna grip that handle and let shots off in the air busting at random." -Akon
-Having a desk/office in a parking garage
-My fan club president: my dog
-Turning 21 a second time to redo a year
-Creepy neighbors: calling you to welcome you to the neighborhood
-Nerd's highest quality porn: embrace of the vampire/poison ivy 2 alyssa milano deuce pack. It has the old-school who's the boss? Feel to it, and catches her just before her charmed no-nudity or having sex with rash-procuring plants and night-walking canine-endowed white people clause.
-No country for old man (a simple story with life-changing dialogue and a true ending) a companion piece to raising Arizona (not necessarily in meaning but moreso in terms of character, structure, setting, and situation)
-on a piece of toast there is a face perhaps of a biblical figure
-ugk has many interesting musical ideas and elements that grow underwhelmed by reused sounds that should have last been heard 5 years ago. But with such a great kick and bass sound (mostly because of completely unique southern buy a new woofer for the car every album because we're gonna bass the shit out of them) and if there was ever a song I'd want to hear chopped and screwed it would absolutely be international players anthem. The beginning of the track, i though my file was corrupted and skipping. After fonally making the effort to pick up the iPod and check to see how quickly the song was playing, it started. It seems that, the same way a certain three chord harmony will drive a punk rock FAM to Spatz out into doing the epileptic dance. Ugk seems to affect the ears of Texas differently maybe purp really does the trick
-Freeway's album has several amazing tracks, however rather than being average tracks where every sound is equally mediocre, freeway has incredible beats that are done a misservice due to production. Too much hihat, crashing breakbeats that make instrumentals but impossible to hear vocals, the problem being that freeway sounds great over bombastic soul, but maybe with the levels remixed. It makes some songs difficult to listen to. However the samples are flipped brilliantly combining unique vocals with such a varied textured organic sound. Dragon-slaying snare in walk with me.
-Do blind people step in their guide dog's shit a lot?
-Student gets Sat scores revoked because he tested positive for steroids
-Is it just me or are there no bald homeless people? I guess its got something going for it, stress-free lifestyle and all
-"hit a blind guy today while I was drivng. Came out of nowhere. Didn't even see him." "thats funny that you didn't see him."
-"you can mess up the sheets girl it is what it is- squirter!" -Yung Berg
-Dirty old man first scene girl at movie old man sits down next to her
-Slashing someones tires after they get a boot
-Its not rape if you apologize
-Standing in front of a bus stop movie poster and blending in with the picture
-As I was making a left turn a kid was running across the street and smacked right into the side of my van
-Special Ed: The notion of being special: destined for greatness, chosen by fate or something else- a out of control van is about to crash into a group of children and the teacher throws one of them to safety. Later on that boy grows up and is walking along when a huge explosion goes off over his head in a building above him and he runs in to help.He later on a whim buys a series of bus tickets off ebay and travels the country
-Driving mittens/nose muffs- in annisquam there is only one day of winter
-Ghost movie starring real ghosts- or kill an actor
-Music contests with other musicians, film contests with other directors
-Prepaid pizza plan
-Horn that honks behind you
-Lesser known allied powers in WWII: the north pole
-Fat Jesus
-Vag stamp, hip stamp
-A car so old that it uses a tiny old timey skeleton key
-Straws with a grooved edge to fit the mouth better
-Most ridiculously good jobs: Life caddy, Alcohol tolerance tester,
-Knuckle fucking scum cunt
-Revving the defrost at a stop sign in the winter
-Inside woman- caveman porn
-Two double sided mirrors facing each other in order to see infinity
-Trying to describe a fat chick without mentioning her size
-Delivery guy waiting forever at the door, starts to take a piss and then has to stop when they finally come to the door
-Blumpkin roll brand toilet paper
-Billy762 and counting
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