-The feminist acrosss the room makes me wish I had a grenade.
-After I got tequila'd up (which when I drink, doesn't get me drunk, but rather acts like a fast forward button on my life- I just wake up the next morning) and pissed so much in my room it leaked through the floor onto the kitchen table, I realzied I had a problem and bought a porta pottie.
-Things I learned:
Dudes always show up late for class (unless they gay)
Dudes never do the assignment on time (unless they ")
Dudes never ask questions about the homework (unless they ")
-In fact, there should be an after-school mafia that beats up the kids who remind teachers to collect homework.
-When I see ugly chicks laughing at jokes about how good sex is, it almost makes me what to quit drinking because I could be that guy that gave her the opportunity to share in that joke.
-In a room full of ugly chicks, the hot chick looks much sluttier. Maybe because every guy in the room is eye-fucking that cornea whore. (Did she just look at me? She wants it, uh uh, she wants it, and Ima give it to her.)
-Honestly there's only so many BJ's that can make up for certain deformities. There needs to be a chart or some sort of diagram. One wart= one extra HJ, each pimple is one more minute of slobbin the knobbin. Missing a limb- hope it's not a leg because I'm definitely getting a foot job.
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