-Ben Affleck should be constantly trashed during filming and in between scenes hitting on every Spanish co-star, extra, groupie, jantiorial worker. I could see him being beligerent and calling them all J-Hoe, Ms. New Booty, Maid in your ass, butt so big when she walk it clap?
-Al Gore is the Writer, Director, Producer, Co-Star.
-Following recent Superhero trends, the movie producers try to make Captain Planet more dark and brooding, adding in some amazing special effects and metal crunching sounds. The Planet Rangers would all be serious actors while Ben Affleck gets shitfaced and acts ridiculous..until the camera starts rolling, at which time Ben kicks into character and nails the Captain Planet role with all seriousness.
-Could gas guzzling Transformers be Captain Planets ultimate enemy? Possibly kids who dont recycle? Close-minded Republicans? His ultimate quest to convert the world to Hybrids?
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Argument for Biz Markie in Annisquam
The Biz can always tell it like it is, unleashing inner truths for a wayward character. I see him as a lone light of intuition for a lost soul because of his honest truths. I know this sounds a little dramatic but i base this statement on the simple fact that I would follow Anything the Biz told me because, honestly, he's the shit. He knows things. Guaranteed.
Biz should be the constant DJ for the main hangout of the movie. i could also see him being an amazing announcer for a sailing race.
He needs to play all types of music, Blues, Reggae, Hip-Hop, Classical, Rock, Bell Biv Devoe. I think i need him to play "The Breaks" by Curtis Blow as well.
Biz should be the constant DJ for the main hangout of the movie. i could also see him being an amazing announcer for a sailing race.
He needs to play all types of music, Blues, Reggae, Hip-Hop, Classical, Rock, Bell Biv Devoe. I think i need him to play "The Breaks" by Curtis Blow as well.
Summer Movie Blowout
Ironman
-Robert Downey J is rocking a killer beard in this flick. I think badass can come from a good 'stach.
-Is it just me or do all superheroes have a thing for redheads? Iron man, spider man, aqua man, shrek, daredevil but that shouldn't count because he didnt know she was a burning bush.
-This movie and Transformers just know how to satisfy auditorily, there are so many satisfying explosions and booms. Movies appeal more to boys when things go boom. Plus i love the sound of metal crunching against metal, its like popping bubble wrap, i cant explain it, i just want more.
-Bg might be biased against main villain and his fight scene simply because no one wants to believe the dude would try to take over the earth. The dude would never hurt anyone, we all know this.
-Key example of how movies can dictate the whole flow of a movie with a good opening song. Back in Black sets the mood for action. Kind of like how Pour some Sugar on me sets the mood for strippers.
Hulk Now with more ROAR noise Action!
-First of all, way too long of an intro. They needed to learn this lesson from the first Hulk, I don't want to wait 15 minutes learning a back story with no action. If you can't describe a story through a scene then it should be rethought. i dont want a silent recap that shit is long, boring and uncreative.
-Great first Hulk out however, I really like the amount of buildup. Causing a conflicting emotion in the audience is a good way to build excitement. I dont want him to have to turn into the Hulk, but at the same time I want him to crush his enemies and external agrivators with green fists of fury.
-This movie is kind of a carbon copy of Ironman. Brilliant scientists makes an amazing discovery/invention then unleashes awesome power. The government then steals this idea then makes it evil causing the original to have to destroy it.
-Liv Tyler is just hot enough to pass in this role because otherwise she's just boring.
Saving Sarah Marshall
-On the first watch through this movie reminds me of Something about Mary/ Meet the Parents. So painfully real that it's akward, uncomfortable humor is relatable. I think every guy can relate to feeling like an ass in front of a girl who broke your heart. Only the really cool can remain calm, cool, collected in front of a girl who crushed you.
-After the initial sting this movie has so many hidden lines that are just phenomonal. I love the honest humor of the dude from Freak and Geeks.
Don't Mess with the Zohan
-Gay
-Super Gay
-What the fuck Adam Sandler, You were so creative, go back to smoking pot. People like dumb movies, don't try to be so clever. Oh, an Israeli falls in love with a Palestinian, how wacky!! Come on, is banging older ladies supposed to make us squirm laugh? you are so far behind. Superbad had a chick rubbing period blood on some poor kids leg. that is funny and disgusting, old ladies? not so much.
-Robert Downey J is rocking a killer beard in this flick. I think badass can come from a good 'stach.
-Is it just me or do all superheroes have a thing for redheads? Iron man, spider man, aqua man, shrek, daredevil but that shouldn't count because he didnt know she was a burning bush.
-This movie and Transformers just know how to satisfy auditorily, there are so many satisfying explosions and booms. Movies appeal more to boys when things go boom. Plus i love the sound of metal crunching against metal, its like popping bubble wrap, i cant explain it, i just want more.
-Bg might be biased against main villain and his fight scene simply because no one wants to believe the dude would try to take over the earth. The dude would never hurt anyone, we all know this.
-Key example of how movies can dictate the whole flow of a movie with a good opening song. Back in Black sets the mood for action. Kind of like how Pour some Sugar on me sets the mood for strippers.
Hulk Now with more ROAR noise Action!
-First of all, way too long of an intro. They needed to learn this lesson from the first Hulk, I don't want to wait 15 minutes learning a back story with no action. If you can't describe a story through a scene then it should be rethought. i dont want a silent recap that shit is long, boring and uncreative.
-Great first Hulk out however, I really like the amount of buildup. Causing a conflicting emotion in the audience is a good way to build excitement. I dont want him to have to turn into the Hulk, but at the same time I want him to crush his enemies and external agrivators with green fists of fury.
-This movie is kind of a carbon copy of Ironman. Brilliant scientists makes an amazing discovery/invention then unleashes awesome power. The government then steals this idea then makes it evil causing the original to have to destroy it.
-Liv Tyler is just hot enough to pass in this role because otherwise she's just boring.
Saving Sarah Marshall
-On the first watch through this movie reminds me of Something about Mary/ Meet the Parents. So painfully real that it's akward, uncomfortable humor is relatable. I think every guy can relate to feeling like an ass in front of a girl who broke your heart. Only the really cool can remain calm, cool, collected in front of a girl who crushed you.
-After the initial sting this movie has so many hidden lines that are just phenomonal. I love the honest humor of the dude from Freak and Geeks.
Don't Mess with the Zohan
-Gay
-Super Gay
-What the fuck Adam Sandler, You were so creative, go back to smoking pot. People like dumb movies, don't try to be so clever. Oh, an Israeli falls in love with a Palestinian, how wacky!! Come on, is banging older ladies supposed to make us squirm laugh? you are so far behind. Superbad had a chick rubbing period blood on some poor kids leg. that is funny and disgusting, old ladies? not so much.
20 Things to know before age 20
20. All of the words to at least one Notorious B.I.G song. At the VERY least one complete verse.
18. How to roll a blunt. Pretty much goes with the B.I.G
16. How to funnel a beer.*
*without spilling less than a 1/4
14. Enough words in another language to pick up a girl. The ability to order a drink is bonus points.
12.How to drive shift. Easy one, James Bond does it.
10. How to get hard when drunk. Jack Daniels should be your friend, not your enem.
8. How to boot and rally. This comes before learning when its time to just call it a night.
6. One fancy bottle of wine/champagne to order when trying to impress. If you pernounce the t at the end of merlot then you're failing.
4. How to make an ex-girlfriend jealous. Indifference can be key, and if all else fails a best friend can be a last resort.
2. How to look cool when putting on a rubber. It seems impossible, but better that than herpasyphilitis.
18. How to roll a blunt. Pretty much goes with the B.I.G
16. How to funnel a beer.*
*without spilling less than a 1/4
14. Enough words in another language to pick up a girl. The ability to order a drink is bonus points.
12.How to drive shift. Easy one, James Bond does it.
10. How to get hard when drunk. Jack Daniels should be your friend, not your enem.
8. How to boot and rally. This comes before learning when its time to just call it a night.
6. One fancy bottle of wine/champagne to order when trying to impress. If you pernounce the t at the end of merlot then you're failing.
4. How to make an ex-girlfriend jealous. Indifference can be key, and if all else fails a best friend can be a last resort.
2. How to look cool when putting on a rubber. It seems impossible, but better that than herpasyphilitis.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Die hard 4 Review
Begin
I want realistic gunfights in movies.
Bruce Willis has said Just hang on twice in a row.
Less obvious shots; dont be highlighting just the roof lights on a cop car getting shot out- show the tunnel in a one-shot with the car- be much more dually constructive with your shot- clean visual frame, shaking only when necessary,
Headlights come out of nowhere in a dark tunnel?
Cloverfield monster was good at sneaking
Bruce Willis grunts a lot more in his old age, talks to himself a little too much;
Headlights again for no reason- I know they light up when a cop hits a siren
I'm tired of seeing the bottoms of stunt cars
Reusing the same low angle swoop for every car turn
And still, it's the daughter getting kidnapped plot- a cliché that needs to end
Way too formulaic and tired and old with a few new explosions not captured in a visually interesting way. Give me fireballs in a warmly lit movie- everything looks too cold for this to be a Die Hard movie. And the French are terrorists? The Eurotrash were bad enough in the third one.
Interesting wandering premise mixed with close quarters battles, but nothing of good substance in the wandering scenes. Bruce likes Credence Clearwater Revival which proves he's old school, but after hearing his Bruno Willis album, I'm not so sure that his opinion on music has “credence.” And why couldn't the kid be normal and like CCR. The more memorable movies have humorous light dialogue, like pairing Bruce with Sam Jackson, or Seth Rogen and James Franco. When you do things like the Mummy and Indiana Jones in terms of pairing of the older/younger, it does not make for enjoyable material. Ricahrd Pryor and Gene Wilder work so well together because Gene Wilder is so nice and subtly funny, and Pryor just kills with his dead pans mixed with out bursts. Stir Crazy was not quite as strong because they spent so much of the finale separate, whereas See No Evil, Hear No Evil, they become friends so quickly and complement each other, rather than have one get tossed dialogue softballs so he can shout and be tough and call everyone out. Die Hard 1 works so well because he just talks to himself and generates actual tension by slowly going crazy over the course of the film- when you finally see him at the end, you know he had a shitty evening. Here he looks like he got splattered with ketchup. Although the end of die hard 3 earns points for having him be so ridiculously bloody and covered in oil. A parody of Die Hard could be interesting yet the film has almost become a parody of the movies that Die Hard blew out of the water.
Everyone knows that the white house didn't blow up; it's like the blue wire/red wire scene that gets used so often for fake tension.
“the tunnel!”
Watching Bruce bat eyelashes to make a joke in a super uncomfortable scene of tricking onstar to start a car.
They just mentioned the Warlock, and I'm already dreading seeing Kevin Smith. He is just about the worst side character in every movie. Like what would happen if Justin Long kept eating.
Try to refrain from using “blah blah blah” in a movie. You're giving away the fact that you're maknig fun of yourself and the audience by stealing their money for a few blue explosions and bruce willis calling people the worst PG-13 nicknames he can. I think this movie would have been a lot better if Bruce had grown out what hair he had left. Keep it real R-rated, and show, rather than tell, that he's getting too old for this shit. Have an arm pop off, piss himself, take a nap immediately after eating.
The great part about Die Hard is that it hits so close to what is familiar and comfortable. Office parties, marital strife, Christmas pain- this one takes place in a factory? It is not as familiar, slightly overblown- the only reason these 4th films in a series should be made as total comedy with a $200 million budget. Hopefully Tropic Thunder will be the start of the high budget epic action comedy- Probably the best last one was Men in Black.
The best part is definitely this fight in the elevator shaft with the chick if only for the fact that they found a way for him to hit her with a car while she was in a control room with no hallways that wide, and then manages to drive down an elevator shaft. It's also a great homage to the first film and expanding on the concept in a Die Hard way. Too much cell phone use in movies, it's too easy, visually uninteresting, and without any actual acting- you need to be face to face for that. Watching cell phone conversations in movies is like playing Metal Gear solid 4. Both that and Grand Theft Auto 4 relied too much on old tricks and in the end, the gameplay was not new and exciting enough to warrant repeat
play time, something the halo does not do but Call of Duty does.
This kid is a real naysaying bitch, not really getting on the team. I wish at least they'd let him actually make fun of old bruce instead of just taking it from mr. Cleans grandpa.
They blow up the White House! They blow up the ground; no real memorable explosions. For whatever reason, this film does not generate fear or tension because you are never unsure of what will happen next, as you've seen this type of movie 100 times with the same plot each time, and 3 of them were called Die Hard, so those were all really similar. No great villain, the threat of my power going out just doesn't quite do it.
I love how computers are portrayed in this movie. “it's an e-bomb!” whatever happened to just using regular bombs. Never windows or mac, some new evil terrorist operating system.
This movie just ends up having too much filler, because it has too much extraneous in-depth plot that slows down the movie, whereas Die Hard 1 had a one sentence plot that can explained visually; like a song with too many elements- joke from Walk Hard is a good example of this.
I like your idea of reinventing silent films- a great fake special feature on DVD's should be the ability to watch the movie without sound. The era of visual storytelling needs to return, instead of this high gloss high flash no reward filmmaking where every new idea is usually bad. Da Vinci Code is a perfect example of how not to make a movie, and perhaps book too. Iron Man is a great example of a great mix of old school moviemaking with new CG tricks.
New example of telephone conversation scene- this video conference scene. Bruce “I'm know I'm not as smart as you guys with this computer shit.” The first movie never belittled its main character. He was always in situations he could figure out like an adult, like covering a microphone to kill sound, not the camera lens.
Listening to voices over the phone in a movie is like like at an out of focus shot; it's just not interesting and it's not fair to the actors.
Bruce is getting a lot more feminine in each of his movies.
That is a very fake looking FBI badge, and why would the FBI come to get you out of an elevator? How about the mexican custodial crew?
Oh great, we're on our way to another boring factory facility, which the equivalent of a hallway in a first person shooter.
Senseless slaughter doesn't really do anything for me in PG-13 movies, because it never intense enough to convey it's true meaning.
If you are going to make a PG-13 movie, make a movie for that nature, rather than force another movie into that package Batman does a good job of this. With four 4 R rated movies being the best in quality this summer, I only hope we see more and more of them, although the Happening may have ruined that possibility.
“It's above your paygrade.” “Grrrrr.....”
The fight with the free-running guy is a major disappointment, considering how much better it was in Casino Royale- one of the best scenes in recent memory. Instead, we get unnecessary unmemorable characters in a bloated but empty film- like a Mummy movie.
The French is such a terrible idea for terrorists, whether it is parody or not. They are so overplayed- a French bodybuilder and a guy who can jump really far are the best villains?
Computers are just not interesting film devices. I want to a film to be timeless, and cell phones and laptops all unnecessarily date the actions of the characters. Using slightly older cars, regular fashions; I think all movies should be set about 10 years before they are released.
I like how Bruce is interrupted and defeated in the midst of trying to be a smartass. But the grinder in the floor is such a lame gag, especially if you cant show it. But bruce shouting oh no afterwards is pretty good. He actually uses words this time.
Reuse of the shooting through the door of the 18 wheeler gag.
Use of the old hambone CB radio is a nice touch for the old guy, but it is just another scene of Bruce yelling for no reason, although chewing out Kevin Smith for being a bitch isn't bad.
Fake plane flying past a fake camera that fake shakes. And why doesnt the plane just shoot all of its missiles at this guy right away. Blow that guy up! An incredibly uncredible unexciting battle. How does that machine gun shoot through the top of a door but not the bottom of it?
What pilot in their right mind would put that expensive of a plane in harm's way like that? What's the point of being able to shoot missiles 50 mile if you don't ever use it?
Gotta pull that gun out at the end of the scene and let out a “eh”
10 sec countdown just shows how big a pussy both parties are. You wont pull the trigger, and this kid is too much of a bitch to make a decision in less than 3 movie seconds.
Gag repetition in movies, as well as callbacks are worthless too, especially when the gag shoudn't work in the first place. Your holstered gun doesn't point at your toe, it points to the side of your foot.
Shooting yourself to kill the bad guy is a great parody moment.
Now the FBI gets there. McClane got there faster and he was walking for most of it.
Another factory- how nice.
Why couldn't the kid be scheming on the daughter a lot more?
Great last line- can I go to the hospital now? I haven't been in like 4 movies.
I'll tell you though- Bruce and CCR go nicely together. They should think of that nice time instead of getting the guy who's only other credits were Underworld 1 and 2 to make your movie.
Any guy other than the trailer guy narrating movies doesn't work at all. They will definitely get an impersonator for him if he ever dies.
Who's idea was it to stop capitalizing words in titles?
I really don't care for any of the actors in All the King's Men, and how am I supposed to believe a retard becoming governor of Lousiana is based on a true story?
That is the best teaser- we may or may not be making this movie- here is a possible title and maybe it's coming soon?
Movies with just opening credits suck.
Why don't hitmen ever actual kill anyone? They just shoot you once and figure youll die eventually?
Why would she go to an english presentation and speak French expecting to get a response?
Boring nondescript person standing in front of boring wall speaking Latin on a phone. Cut to hit boring shapeless shadow of person still talking. And why do I want to see a person whipping themselves naked?
More bloody naked old guys.
Idea for opening: Start with sleeping man passed out at strip club.
Follow with guys making song and music video for strippers to dance to.
Later on make fake movie trailer and poster to sell to movie theater.
Basic premise- guys pulling all sorts of moneymaking schemes during the day to fund their nightly shenanigans
What's frustrating from one angle might be comical from another, but a balance of symbiotic/parasitic humor is important.
When someone says its a matter of life and death; it's definitely not a trick. They need to talk to you.
They use “the” in france for their anagrams? All the puzzles have been nicely translated for the audience.
Stealing gags from Die Hard 3? but because you use a mini car and show how mini it is and how it can improbably escape the police its okay.
You just noticed that haxo 24 written on the side of it? At night in the dark?
Smacking the sister upside the head is pretty good gag, nice that it comes in the middle of a sentence you really did not care to hear the end of. When a movie delivers on exactly what the audience is thinking, those are moments of perfection.
Being claustrophobic is a pretty lame character trait, allowing for only lame jokes and weak breaks of tension.
It took her that long to open it? This movie delays itself in order to show back story, when it should be developing them at the same time. And computers that shut down after one incorrect password attempt or the cryptex that will destroy your message if you drop it? Not very smart.
Yeah, shoot at the armored truck some more. That seems to be working.
The handicapped limping serial killer beats the police to their most important suspect.
“Leigh, would you mind giving us some more information instead of staring at the cryptex and making sex noises?”
“you know I'm Opus Dei right?” Oh, that's what that pin you always wear means?
I want realistic gunfights in movies.
Bruce Willis has said Just hang on twice in a row.
Less obvious shots; dont be highlighting just the roof lights on a cop car getting shot out- show the tunnel in a one-shot with the car- be much more dually constructive with your shot- clean visual frame, shaking only when necessary,
Headlights come out of nowhere in a dark tunnel?
Cloverfield monster was good at sneaking
Bruce Willis grunts a lot more in his old age, talks to himself a little too much;
Headlights again for no reason- I know they light up when a cop hits a siren
I'm tired of seeing the bottoms of stunt cars
Reusing the same low angle swoop for every car turn
And still, it's the daughter getting kidnapped plot- a cliché that needs to end
Way too formulaic and tired and old with a few new explosions not captured in a visually interesting way. Give me fireballs in a warmly lit movie- everything looks too cold for this to be a Die Hard movie. And the French are terrorists? The Eurotrash were bad enough in the third one.
Interesting wandering premise mixed with close quarters battles, but nothing of good substance in the wandering scenes. Bruce likes Credence Clearwater Revival which proves he's old school, but after hearing his Bruno Willis album, I'm not so sure that his opinion on music has “credence.” And why couldn't the kid be normal and like CCR. The more memorable movies have humorous light dialogue, like pairing Bruce with Sam Jackson, or Seth Rogen and James Franco. When you do things like the Mummy and Indiana Jones in terms of pairing of the older/younger, it does not make for enjoyable material. Ricahrd Pryor and Gene Wilder work so well together because Gene Wilder is so nice and subtly funny, and Pryor just kills with his dead pans mixed with out bursts. Stir Crazy was not quite as strong because they spent so much of the finale separate, whereas See No Evil, Hear No Evil, they become friends so quickly and complement each other, rather than have one get tossed dialogue softballs so he can shout and be tough and call everyone out. Die Hard 1 works so well because he just talks to himself and generates actual tension by slowly going crazy over the course of the film- when you finally see him at the end, you know he had a shitty evening. Here he looks like he got splattered with ketchup. Although the end of die hard 3 earns points for having him be so ridiculously bloody and covered in oil. A parody of Die Hard could be interesting yet the film has almost become a parody of the movies that Die Hard blew out of the water.
Everyone knows that the white house didn't blow up; it's like the blue wire/red wire scene that gets used so often for fake tension.
“the tunnel!”
Watching Bruce bat eyelashes to make a joke in a super uncomfortable scene of tricking onstar to start a car.
They just mentioned the Warlock, and I'm already dreading seeing Kevin Smith. He is just about the worst side character in every movie. Like what would happen if Justin Long kept eating.
Try to refrain from using “blah blah blah” in a movie. You're giving away the fact that you're maknig fun of yourself and the audience by stealing their money for a few blue explosions and bruce willis calling people the worst PG-13 nicknames he can. I think this movie would have been a lot better if Bruce had grown out what hair he had left. Keep it real R-rated, and show, rather than tell, that he's getting too old for this shit. Have an arm pop off, piss himself, take a nap immediately after eating.
The great part about Die Hard is that it hits so close to what is familiar and comfortable. Office parties, marital strife, Christmas pain- this one takes place in a factory? It is not as familiar, slightly overblown- the only reason these 4th films in a series should be made as total comedy with a $200 million budget. Hopefully Tropic Thunder will be the start of the high budget epic action comedy- Probably the best last one was Men in Black.
The best part is definitely this fight in the elevator shaft with the chick if only for the fact that they found a way for him to hit her with a car while she was in a control room with no hallways that wide, and then manages to drive down an elevator shaft. It's also a great homage to the first film and expanding on the concept in a Die Hard way. Too much cell phone use in movies, it's too easy, visually uninteresting, and without any actual acting- you need to be face to face for that. Watching cell phone conversations in movies is like playing Metal Gear solid 4. Both that and Grand Theft Auto 4 relied too much on old tricks and in the end, the gameplay was not new and exciting enough to warrant repeat
play time, something the halo does not do but Call of Duty does.
This kid is a real naysaying bitch, not really getting on the team. I wish at least they'd let him actually make fun of old bruce instead of just taking it from mr. Cleans grandpa.
They blow up the White House! They blow up the ground; no real memorable explosions. For whatever reason, this film does not generate fear or tension because you are never unsure of what will happen next, as you've seen this type of movie 100 times with the same plot each time, and 3 of them were called Die Hard, so those were all really similar. No great villain, the threat of my power going out just doesn't quite do it.
I love how computers are portrayed in this movie. “it's an e-bomb!” whatever happened to just using regular bombs. Never windows or mac, some new evil terrorist operating system.
This movie just ends up having too much filler, because it has too much extraneous in-depth plot that slows down the movie, whereas Die Hard 1 had a one sentence plot that can explained visually; like a song with too many elements- joke from Walk Hard is a good example of this.
I like your idea of reinventing silent films- a great fake special feature on DVD's should be the ability to watch the movie without sound. The era of visual storytelling needs to return, instead of this high gloss high flash no reward filmmaking where every new idea is usually bad. Da Vinci Code is a perfect example of how not to make a movie, and perhaps book too. Iron Man is a great example of a great mix of old school moviemaking with new CG tricks.
New example of telephone conversation scene- this video conference scene. Bruce “I'm know I'm not as smart as you guys with this computer shit.” The first movie never belittled its main character. He was always in situations he could figure out like an adult, like covering a microphone to kill sound, not the camera lens.
Listening to voices over the phone in a movie is like like at an out of focus shot; it's just not interesting and it's not fair to the actors.
Bruce is getting a lot more feminine in each of his movies.
That is a very fake looking FBI badge, and why would the FBI come to get you out of an elevator? How about the mexican custodial crew?
Oh great, we're on our way to another boring factory facility, which the equivalent of a hallway in a first person shooter.
Senseless slaughter doesn't really do anything for me in PG-13 movies, because it never intense enough to convey it's true meaning.
If you are going to make a PG-13 movie, make a movie for that nature, rather than force another movie into that package Batman does a good job of this. With four 4 R rated movies being the best in quality this summer, I only hope we see more and more of them, although the Happening may have ruined that possibility.
“It's above your paygrade.” “Grrrrr.....”
The fight with the free-running guy is a major disappointment, considering how much better it was in Casino Royale- one of the best scenes in recent memory. Instead, we get unnecessary unmemorable characters in a bloated but empty film- like a Mummy movie.
The French is such a terrible idea for terrorists, whether it is parody or not. They are so overplayed- a French bodybuilder and a guy who can jump really far are the best villains?
Computers are just not interesting film devices. I want to a film to be timeless, and cell phones and laptops all unnecessarily date the actions of the characters. Using slightly older cars, regular fashions; I think all movies should be set about 10 years before they are released.
I like how Bruce is interrupted and defeated in the midst of trying to be a smartass. But the grinder in the floor is such a lame gag, especially if you cant show it. But bruce shouting oh no afterwards is pretty good. He actually uses words this time.
Reuse of the shooting through the door of the 18 wheeler gag.
Use of the old hambone CB radio is a nice touch for the old guy, but it is just another scene of Bruce yelling for no reason, although chewing out Kevin Smith for being a bitch isn't bad.
Fake plane flying past a fake camera that fake shakes. And why doesnt the plane just shoot all of its missiles at this guy right away. Blow that guy up! An incredibly uncredible unexciting battle. How does that machine gun shoot through the top of a door but not the bottom of it?
What pilot in their right mind would put that expensive of a plane in harm's way like that? What's the point of being able to shoot missiles 50 mile if you don't ever use it?
Gotta pull that gun out at the end of the scene and let out a “eh”
10 sec countdown just shows how big a pussy both parties are. You wont pull the trigger, and this kid is too much of a bitch to make a decision in less than 3 movie seconds.
Gag repetition in movies, as well as callbacks are worthless too, especially when the gag shoudn't work in the first place. Your holstered gun doesn't point at your toe, it points to the side of your foot.
Shooting yourself to kill the bad guy is a great parody moment.
Now the FBI gets there. McClane got there faster and he was walking for most of it.
Another factory- how nice.
Why couldn't the kid be scheming on the daughter a lot more?
Great last line- can I go to the hospital now? I haven't been in like 4 movies.
I'll tell you though- Bruce and CCR go nicely together. They should think of that nice time instead of getting the guy who's only other credits were Underworld 1 and 2 to make your movie.
Any guy other than the trailer guy narrating movies doesn't work at all. They will definitely get an impersonator for him if he ever dies.
Who's idea was it to stop capitalizing words in titles?
I really don't care for any of the actors in All the King's Men, and how am I supposed to believe a retard becoming governor of Lousiana is based on a true story?
That is the best teaser- we may or may not be making this movie- here is a possible title and maybe it's coming soon?
Movies with just opening credits suck.
Why don't hitmen ever actual kill anyone? They just shoot you once and figure youll die eventually?
Why would she go to an english presentation and speak French expecting to get a response?
Boring nondescript person standing in front of boring wall speaking Latin on a phone. Cut to hit boring shapeless shadow of person still talking. And why do I want to see a person whipping themselves naked?
More bloody naked old guys.
Idea for opening: Start with sleeping man passed out at strip club.
Follow with guys making song and music video for strippers to dance to.
Later on make fake movie trailer and poster to sell to movie theater.
Basic premise- guys pulling all sorts of moneymaking schemes during the day to fund their nightly shenanigans
What's frustrating from one angle might be comical from another, but a balance of symbiotic/parasitic humor is important.
When someone says its a matter of life and death; it's definitely not a trick. They need to talk to you.
They use “the” in france for their anagrams? All the puzzles have been nicely translated for the audience.
Stealing gags from Die Hard 3? but because you use a mini car and show how mini it is and how it can improbably escape the police its okay.
You just noticed that haxo 24 written on the side of it? At night in the dark?
Smacking the sister upside the head is pretty good gag, nice that it comes in the middle of a sentence you really did not care to hear the end of. When a movie delivers on exactly what the audience is thinking, those are moments of perfection.
Being claustrophobic is a pretty lame character trait, allowing for only lame jokes and weak breaks of tension.
It took her that long to open it? This movie delays itself in order to show back story, when it should be developing them at the same time. And computers that shut down after one incorrect password attempt or the cryptex that will destroy your message if you drop it? Not very smart.
Yeah, shoot at the armored truck some more. That seems to be working.
The handicapped limping serial killer beats the police to their most important suspect.
“Leigh, would you mind giving us some more information instead of staring at the cryptex and making sex noises?”
“you know I'm Opus Dei right?” Oh, that's what that pin you always wear means?
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Lazy Afternoon
-The new Die Hard movie should've been called "Old Habits: Die Hard"- Idea blatantly stolen from the mind of Hannah French
-If you fuck a MILF, does she become a MIF?
-"I remember the day I learned I was an average student, I was fucking my spanish teacher and she kept yelling, "C!, C!"
-There should be a liscense test for drunk driving. If you pass the course you can have a couple extra hundreths on a breathalizer.
-"Hey, you know why I don't have a girlfriend? Fuckin' global warming, man."
-False Descriptions of a first car; Power steering= It takes power to turn it. 4-60 AC=put the windows down and go 60, Voice activated radio aka kareoke style = sing it yourself.
-It really paints quite the picture when a co-worker informs you, with a straight face, that his girlfriend used to be hot before she gained 100 pounds, you know, back when she was like 180ish.
-I would like to see more sarcasm in sign language.
-The AYC's new equalizer for bay series; top 3 winners gets free drinks at the bar, the season winner gets a free trip to rehab and their own Intervention episode.
-If you fuck a MILF, does she become a MIF?
-"I remember the day I learned I was an average student, I was fucking my spanish teacher and she kept yelling, "C!, C!"
-There should be a liscense test for drunk driving. If you pass the course you can have a couple extra hundreths on a breathalizer.
-"Hey, you know why I don't have a girlfriend? Fuckin' global warming, man."
-False Descriptions of a first car; Power steering= It takes power to turn it. 4-60 AC=put the windows down and go 60, Voice activated radio aka kareoke style = sing it yourself.
-It really paints quite the picture when a co-worker informs you, with a straight face, that his girlfriend used to be hot before she gained 100 pounds, you know, back when she was like 180ish.
-I would like to see more sarcasm in sign language.
-The AYC's new equalizer for bay series; top 3 winners gets free drinks at the bar, the season winner gets a free trip to rehab and their own Intervention episode.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Dark Knight Review
First, let's get all the spoilers out of the way. My favorite parts were all the sceens with batman, the joker, and then when batmans girlfriend becomes batgirl, and then with they have a kid and he becomes robin, because none of this was in the previews and I didnt think they would go that far. but it works. A+++
Random 2
-Kevorkian church- new members every sunday
-Driving across country to jump off the golden gate bridge and picking up hitchhikers all along the way writing multiple suicide notes depending on your fate
-Gunshots for a ringtone- arabic war cries
-How to be a better brother- book by vanilla ice
-Putting smaller ice cubes within the ice tray slots to make the water freeze faster
-Dressing up like a pilot to get through airports faster
-Newspaper- the daily weekly
-V day is extra special for people who got their cherries popped as a valentine
-Die hard with your v card
-Bars using funnels to finish drinks after last call
-True sign of bachelorhood: urinal in your bathroom at home
-Mc Hammer's next song - "whatever you Kids are down with, count me in too"
-Ghetto by fabulous is so good because of the woman singing ghetto. Its like
-Book title/ what are we smoking today god
-Shooting splatties on fatties
-Fuck of a bitch!
-Best of all time ever
-Ernest loses his virginity
-Throwback headphones
-Shaq oneal of county cork ireland
-Looking to like someone
-Huzzah
-Bangin season
-Movie preview: character says what then they show the title then he says when and they show the date
-Listen with your eyes
-Six degrees remix- original samples and new samples must share a word in the credits of each
-BJ: tastes best in your mouth
-No matter who you root for in sports, the bandwagon team will always be your opponent at college.
-Buddy cops vs. Buddy villains
Hugh jackman/gene hackman vs. Keith David/David keith
-Homeless man with air mattress
-Spider bites radioactive man and gets the power of speech and free will.
-There's nothing lamer than having a holster for anything other than a gun- ticket puncher on a train, mace, etc.
-pet books
-Eliasmallette.com
-Brockholiday.com
-Whiskey flavored binaca
-Gmush light
-21st birthday present: invite to rehab
-Driving across country to jump off the golden gate bridge and picking up hitchhikers all along the way writing multiple suicide notes depending on your fate
-Gunshots for a ringtone- arabic war cries
-How to be a better brother- book by vanilla ice
-Putting smaller ice cubes within the ice tray slots to make the water freeze faster
-Dressing up like a pilot to get through airports faster
-Newspaper- the daily weekly
-V day is extra special for people who got their cherries popped as a valentine
-Die hard with your v card
-Bars using funnels to finish drinks after last call
-True sign of bachelorhood: urinal in your bathroom at home
-Mc Hammer's next song - "whatever you Kids are down with, count me in too"
-Ghetto by fabulous is so good because of the woman singing ghetto. Its like
-Book title/ what are we smoking today god
-Shooting splatties on fatties
-Fuck of a bitch!
-Best of all time ever
-Ernest loses his virginity
-Throwback headphones
-Shaq oneal of county cork ireland
-Looking to like someone
-Huzzah
-Bangin season
-Movie preview: character says what then they show the title then he says when and they show the date
-Listen with your eyes
-Six degrees remix- original samples and new samples must share a word in the credits of each
-BJ: tastes best in your mouth
-No matter who you root for in sports, the bandwagon team will always be your opponent at college.
-Buddy cops vs. Buddy villains
Hugh jackman/gene hackman vs. Keith David/David keith
-Homeless man with air mattress
-Spider bites radioactive man and gets the power of speech and free will.
-There's nothing lamer than having a holster for anything other than a gun- ticket puncher on a train, mace, etc.
-pet books
-Eliasmallette.com
-Brockholiday.com
-Whiskey flavored binaca
-Gmush light
-21st birthday present: invite to rehab
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Monday, May 19, 2008
Big K
Only way to get out - piss in the bushes
Unzippered at kanye
How many times we gonna throw up hands
Mr. Tweeters business plan: dont sell beer to legal adults- especially when you sell $.30 beer at $8.
Let people cut you in line- get $20
Is kanye in there?
In the future, kanye should turn 5 five minute songs into a 5 minute medley.
Amazing how he jumped completely over drunk and hot girls. Barely covered half of graduation, his supposed concert album. And he never called on his people, including jay-z and lupe, which needs to change in order to get to jay-z status.
A lot of people blackout for the first time at kanye west concerts.
Songs like can't tell me nothing were the highlights, the whole first half was very strong. But then he loses his sense of humor about his music and instead extends songs well past true crowd interest. Why was the best song you play "don't stop believing" over loudspeakers while you lie down and drink a 40? But the final words are excellent, and the kanye that is strongest (humorous, confident, and almost always wrong) brought the house down. B+
The encore is dead however, product of ringtones and the swing in average age of paying fan. When Rihanna and Fantasia are your opening acts and both draw more crowd reponse, something is wrong.
How come N.E.R.D.'s sound quality, as a live band, was so much worse than Kanye? How come Lupe starts the show and then disappears. All part of getting the average suburban Boston child home before 1? Where are the Boston city venues that are great enough to handle the Kanye? The encore was signed away in a contract and instead can only be planned- one song long. Kanye needs a band on stage with him so he can share their energy. But you still have to appreciate a completely ridiculous story so well sold. Great intros but it seemed most songs started a minute too long. I would have loved for him to just drop a stronger on you out of nowhere, rather than a two-minute intro and build up- they both work, but that song hits you in such a wild way that it is best when it slaps you in the face.
The front row got their moneys worth in smoke.
The visual effect behind k was overlayed on the rear tv's, which could explain the delay on those TV's, which can tend to ruin the song when you can't directly connect with the musician. What kind of venue has no standing room only in front of the stage?
Chris brown did show up, which is pretty good, and nerd's dancing girl's titty almost popped out.
We were able to get through a whole blunt in the second row from the front but two kids in the middle couldn't figure out how to smoke a bowl?
Also, our blunt got the shit passed out of it.
Almost picked up some thirty-somethings.
Kanye dances about as good as I do.
Kanyes next cd needs to ne nothing but great music. Pure, without extended unnecessary message (or lame dancehall excuses (drunk and hot girls- if you're going to make a song with Mos Def- make a good hip hop song with him. Why drop all these amazing chances to make one of the greatest songs of all time and instead recreate (listen to the original sample) a already kind of lame song. The point of sampling is to at least take a song that was good in the first place and make it better, at least not worse.))
On another note, I expect that Dr. Dre's next CD will influence Kanye a lot more than Graduation influencing Dr. Dre. That's not to say that I think Dr. Dre restarted making Detox after he heard Graduation, in fact, I think that Kanye is truly influencing Jay-Z and Dr. Dre in understanding the true meaning of rock star. Dre's next album is going to sound like the meteor that smashes open Kanye's stadium-sounding CD, but Kanye has got something truly special in him. No more gimmicks, (just like Dre) just some straight-up great music. A truly timeless record, something that I think Graduation, Late Registration, and College Dropout are missing. However, it's amazing how quickly he has learned how to create a revolutionary record.
If you're going to be the only one on stage, you better be the only one singing. No need for t-pain, grab the vocoder.
Some of the were done so well live, can't tell me nothing, with great remixed beats- I just wish he did it more often to truly engage.
Kanye would benefit a lot from covers as well because in the end, for most of the audience, he was not their favorite artist.
In this world, just because you had a hit song doesn't mean its popular or that anyone remembers the words or cares to shout them. You have to earn that, something that Kanye doesn't seem to learn.
Getting escorted out of a kanye show or passing out in a bathroom or getting cut off at all of the beer stands- not the best concert in the world.
Great recruiting: if you sign up for the army you can play call of duty 4 at kanye.
What kind of 30 year old goes to Kanye?
Genius lyrics: "baby you're making it..."
There is no other rap artist truly worth seeing live beside kanye, which is sad.
Rangers five hit to the body to win
Mo dame rouge tieicr
Unzippered at kanye
How many times we gonna throw up hands
Mr. Tweeters business plan: dont sell beer to legal adults- especially when you sell $.30 beer at $8.
Let people cut you in line- get $20
Is kanye in there?
In the future, kanye should turn 5 five minute songs into a 5 minute medley.
Amazing how he jumped completely over drunk and hot girls. Barely covered half of graduation, his supposed concert album. And he never called on his people, including jay-z and lupe, which needs to change in order to get to jay-z status.
A lot of people blackout for the first time at kanye west concerts.
Songs like can't tell me nothing were the highlights, the whole first half was very strong. But then he loses his sense of humor about his music and instead extends songs well past true crowd interest. Why was the best song you play "don't stop believing" over loudspeakers while you lie down and drink a 40? But the final words are excellent, and the kanye that is strongest (humorous, confident, and almost always wrong) brought the house down. B+
The encore is dead however, product of ringtones and the swing in average age of paying fan. When Rihanna and Fantasia are your opening acts and both draw more crowd reponse, something is wrong.
How come N.E.R.D.'s sound quality, as a live band, was so much worse than Kanye? How come Lupe starts the show and then disappears. All part of getting the average suburban Boston child home before 1? Where are the Boston city venues that are great enough to handle the Kanye? The encore was signed away in a contract and instead can only be planned- one song long. Kanye needs a band on stage with him so he can share their energy. But you still have to appreciate a completely ridiculous story so well sold. Great intros but it seemed most songs started a minute too long. I would have loved for him to just drop a stronger on you out of nowhere, rather than a two-minute intro and build up- they both work, but that song hits you in such a wild way that it is best when it slaps you in the face.
The front row got their moneys worth in smoke.
The visual effect behind k was overlayed on the rear tv's, which could explain the delay on those TV's, which can tend to ruin the song when you can't directly connect with the musician. What kind of venue has no standing room only in front of the stage?
Chris brown did show up, which is pretty good, and nerd's dancing girl's titty almost popped out.
We were able to get through a whole blunt in the second row from the front but two kids in the middle couldn't figure out how to smoke a bowl?
Also, our blunt got the shit passed out of it.
Almost picked up some thirty-somethings.
Kanye dances about as good as I do.
Kanyes next cd needs to ne nothing but great music. Pure, without extended unnecessary message (or lame dancehall excuses (drunk and hot girls- if you're going to make a song with Mos Def- make a good hip hop song with him. Why drop all these amazing chances to make one of the greatest songs of all time and instead recreate (listen to the original sample) a already kind of lame song. The point of sampling is to at least take a song that was good in the first place and make it better, at least not worse.))
On another note, I expect that Dr. Dre's next CD will influence Kanye a lot more than Graduation influencing Dr. Dre. That's not to say that I think Dr. Dre restarted making Detox after he heard Graduation, in fact, I think that Kanye is truly influencing Jay-Z and Dr. Dre in understanding the true meaning of rock star. Dre's next album is going to sound like the meteor that smashes open Kanye's stadium-sounding CD, but Kanye has got something truly special in him. No more gimmicks, (just like Dre) just some straight-up great music. A truly timeless record, something that I think Graduation, Late Registration, and College Dropout are missing. However, it's amazing how quickly he has learned how to create a revolutionary record.
If you're going to be the only one on stage, you better be the only one singing. No need for t-pain, grab the vocoder.
Some of the were done so well live, can't tell me nothing, with great remixed beats- I just wish he did it more often to truly engage.
Kanye would benefit a lot from covers as well because in the end, for most of the audience, he was not their favorite artist.
In this world, just because you had a hit song doesn't mean its popular or that anyone remembers the words or cares to shout them. You have to earn that, something that Kanye doesn't seem to learn.
Getting escorted out of a kanye show or passing out in a bathroom or getting cut off at all of the beer stands- not the best concert in the world.
Great recruiting: if you sign up for the army you can play call of duty 4 at kanye.
What kind of 30 year old goes to Kanye?
Genius lyrics: "baby you're making it..."
There is no other rap artist truly worth seeing live beside kanye, which is sad.
Rangers five hit to the body to win
Mo dame rouge tieicr
Monday, March 10, 2008
New Movie Ideas
Ideas for Ziplocistan
-First season should be about the kids hearing in their country about american colleges taking foreign students with lower test scores. They apply to Harvard Extension, thinking its the real Harvard. Upon getting in to the school that takes everyone, they sell all of their belongings and fly to boston, only to find out they can't stay at the dorm.
-1st season could also be about them trying to find work in boston knowing little to no english; therefor only doing jobs that can be done through miming.
-2nd season they could end up running out of jobs in boston and start importing drugs from their native country through their fisherman friends in boston. Making them drug dealers also leads to a variety of new language for the two main characters to learn from their customers.
-The two characters should have grown up drinking moonshine and other extremely potent homemade boozes giving them a rediculous tolerance. The should clean up at drinking games which could be why the frat takes them in.
-Both kids should clean up with boston girls who love foreign guys. there are tons of them.
-First season should be about the kids hearing in their country about american colleges taking foreign students with lower test scores. They apply to Harvard Extension, thinking its the real Harvard. Upon getting in to the school that takes everyone, they sell all of their belongings and fly to boston, only to find out they can't stay at the dorm.
-1st season could also be about them trying to find work in boston knowing little to no english; therefor only doing jobs that can be done through miming.
-2nd season they could end up running out of jobs in boston and start importing drugs from their native country through their fisherman friends in boston. Making them drug dealers also leads to a variety of new language for the two main characters to learn from their customers.
-The two characters should have grown up drinking moonshine and other extremely potent homemade boozes giving them a rediculous tolerance. The should clean up at drinking games which could be why the frat takes them in.
-Both kids should clean up with boston girls who love foreign guys. there are tons of them.
Defense for Ninjas*
*This is not to say, in anyway, that ninjas are better than pirates, because as previously stated, pirates rule.
-Ninjas are masters of deception, therefor they must get mad bitches. Like the hot geisha bitches who do the naughty naughty.
-No one can tell if you're wearing underwear under a robe, constant freeballin'.
-Hook hands, although nice for opening beers, seem a little dangerous.
-Ninjas have the ability to grow amazingly sweet facial hair. Imagine the yet to be seen eyebrow comb-over.
-Ninjas also enjoy farting and are masters of 'silent but deadly'
-Getting drunk at sea can only add to the spins.
-You never hear about a ninja getting lost at sea and having to eat nasty shit like leather boots and rats. this might be because you never hear about ninjas.
-Ninjas don't mutiny, so if you make it to head ninja you're set for life and get to whack people with your old man stick whenever they disrespect you.
-Skinny guys make the best ninjas, bruce lee could kick your ass.
-Sake bombs and general gao chicken is enjoyed by ninjas nightly.
-Pirates think women on your ship is bad luck sometimes being given the term ass pirates. kinda gay.
-Ninjas always have cool, Alfred from batman type servants who guard their secret lairs.
-Plus ninjas have secret lairs, awesome. Possibly under the alias of 'dojo' which in japanese means 'secret lair with hot bitches' it's a rough translation but i m pretty sure it's accurate.
-Ninjas always spend their money in a rap star type fashion buying cool shit like solid gold temples and swords encrusted with diamonds. Pirates always bury their treasure then die leaving a map. how could you not remember something like that? unless you were really really drunk.
-Ninjas are masters of deception, therefor they must get mad bitches. Like the hot geisha bitches who do the naughty naughty.
-No one can tell if you're wearing underwear under a robe, constant freeballin'.
-Hook hands, although nice for opening beers, seem a little dangerous.
-Ninjas have the ability to grow amazingly sweet facial hair. Imagine the yet to be seen eyebrow comb-over.
-Ninjas also enjoy farting and are masters of 'silent but deadly'
-Getting drunk at sea can only add to the spins.
-You never hear about a ninja getting lost at sea and having to eat nasty shit like leather boots and rats. this might be because you never hear about ninjas.
-Ninjas don't mutiny, so if you make it to head ninja you're set for life and get to whack people with your old man stick whenever they disrespect you.
-Skinny guys make the best ninjas, bruce lee could kick your ass.
-Sake bombs and general gao chicken is enjoyed by ninjas nightly.
-Pirates think women on your ship is bad luck sometimes being given the term ass pirates. kinda gay.
-Ninjas always have cool, Alfred from batman type servants who guard their secret lairs.
-Plus ninjas have secret lairs, awesome. Possibly under the alias of 'dojo' which in japanese means 'secret lair with hot bitches' it's a rough translation but i m pretty sure it's accurate.
-Ninjas always spend their money in a rap star type fashion buying cool shit like solid gold temples and swords encrusted with diamonds. Pirates always bury their treasure then die leaving a map. how could you not remember something like that? unless you were really really drunk.
Sunday, March 9, 2008
In the midst of a Lost bender
Cranking through season three of Lost, which is an unbelievable show in terms of structure, and the sheer amount of stuff they have put into it. Everything is so well thought out.
Anyways, Lost discussion to come after finishing all the episodes, but for now, show idea.
Two friends, not really really borat and the fat guy but in a similar vein, come from their country (Ziplocistan is a name I'm stealing from my buddy's 9th grade history project) to go to school in America. The school is on the beach, so it's just a great visual place to go to school. Neither of the kids speak much english, but they manage to get by and learn english as the series goes on. (thinking like the camera crew in Bowfinger, also thinking of Spanglish and it's possible sequel about the problems of outsourcing tech support to India, Spangladesh) And the kids find themselves alienated at school, but also have difficulty with paying for school, so they get jobs down at the docks, working with a bunch of old salts. these are the guys that accept them and dont care that they dont speak too much, because these guys will talk to anyone who listens, and most of them are intelligle anyway (as this post is becoming; my writing has gone for shit since I stopped doing it so frequently, another on the to-do list after learning piano and Spanish, or Spangladeshese) And to keep the college within the story- maybe they also join a fraternity, and there I want a kid who was raised in the fraternity his whole life and has never known anything else- almost a complete opposite to these worldly types would be someone who lived forever in the bubble that is a fraternity. Anyways, short outline- Four season show, for each year of school- easy- no PG year, end it strong, the key here comes from Lost; plan it out so that certain pay-offs may not come until seasons later, but keep enough humor in the show to keep the audience coming back.
Not so interested in cliff-hangers and "previously on..."'s but more a show where you can jump into any episode, like Seinfeld, but with more arch- and definitely not a That 70's Show where the kids are in high school forever or Boy Meets World where they go to college forever. The show should have heart of course, but the anchors have to be the two foreigners, and their coming to grips with a world that does not care about them, and how they overcome that. I want a college show that is more about real life- as if they were community college students, and the school thing was there because of their great desire to better themselves. Shit, they travelled across the world and left everything they ever knew, all their comforts, to do it.
That's an outline- it basically takes pieces from everything we've talked about, i've thought about, and tries to put them together in some semblance of a show, which is something that Lost is the king of.
Mostly, I just always wanted to go to school on a beach.
Anyways, Lost discussion to come after finishing all the episodes, but for now, show idea.
Two friends, not really really borat and the fat guy but in a similar vein, come from their country (Ziplocistan is a name I'm stealing from my buddy's 9th grade history project) to go to school in America. The school is on the beach, so it's just a great visual place to go to school. Neither of the kids speak much english, but they manage to get by and learn english as the series goes on. (thinking like the camera crew in Bowfinger, also thinking of Spanglish and it's possible sequel about the problems of outsourcing tech support to India, Spangladesh) And the kids find themselves alienated at school, but also have difficulty with paying for school, so they get jobs down at the docks, working with a bunch of old salts. these are the guys that accept them and dont care that they dont speak too much, because these guys will talk to anyone who listens, and most of them are intelligle anyway (as this post is becoming; my writing has gone for shit since I stopped doing it so frequently, another on the to-do list after learning piano and Spanish, or Spangladeshese) And to keep the college within the story- maybe they also join a fraternity, and there I want a kid who was raised in the fraternity his whole life and has never known anything else- almost a complete opposite to these worldly types would be someone who lived forever in the bubble that is a fraternity. Anyways, short outline- Four season show, for each year of school- easy- no PG year, end it strong, the key here comes from Lost; plan it out so that certain pay-offs may not come until seasons later, but keep enough humor in the show to keep the audience coming back.
Not so interested in cliff-hangers and "previously on..."'s but more a show where you can jump into any episode, like Seinfeld, but with more arch- and definitely not a That 70's Show where the kids are in high school forever or Boy Meets World where they go to college forever. The show should have heart of course, but the anchors have to be the two foreigners, and their coming to grips with a world that does not care about them, and how they overcome that. I want a college show that is more about real life- as if they were community college students, and the school thing was there because of their great desire to better themselves. Shit, they travelled across the world and left everything they ever knew, all their comforts, to do it.
That's an outline- it basically takes pieces from everything we've talked about, i've thought about, and tries to put them together in some semblance of a show, which is something that Lost is the king of.
Mostly, I just always wanted to go to school on a beach.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Friday, February 1, 2008
Some Brief Thoughts on why Pirates are better than Ninjas
Pirates drink rum, Ninjas drink tea
really the list could end after that but i might as well go on
Pirates are drunk all the time
Pirates' complexion is much better because they are out swabbing decks while ninjas are only out at night covered in robes
who wears robes anyways
Pirates get to keelhaul people
also pirates get to say the word keelhaul, say it out loud now, its fun
while ninjas are meditating and studying and shit pirates are getting drunk and rapin bitches
ninja robes leave to much to the imagination, pirates are always scantily clad
do i really have to say how cool pet monkeys and parrots are
if you get beaten as a ninja you take your own life, that shits weak, as a pirate you either get a wooden leg or an eyepatch, badass
ninjas have to be silent they have never had the joys of saying yarrrrg
also ninjas cant fart whenever they want to
cool hats
im not sure on this one but i think ninjas are celibate so they dont have any distractions
like titties, which are great
boats
who wants to use throwing stars when you can fire a huge ass cannon
huge ass cannons
mermaids
the only ninja that was ever cool is chris farley and he died, so you guys are screwed
rumor has it an australian ninja stole the amazing term "matey" from pirates then dropped the "y" so that now anytime an australian talks about his guy friends it sounds like theyre butt-sex-buddies
that creepy guy from kill bill with he foot long eyebrows
he just creeps me out
the movie hook, although pirates are portrayed as pussies fro gettin there asses kicked by 8 year olds with bamboo paintball guns, its a badass movie and smee is the man
feel free to add on i have to go now but i know theres more
really the list could end after that but i might as well go on
Pirates are drunk all the time
Pirates' complexion is much better because they are out swabbing decks while ninjas are only out at night covered in robes
who wears robes anyways
Pirates get to keelhaul people
also pirates get to say the word keelhaul, say it out loud now, its fun
while ninjas are meditating and studying and shit pirates are getting drunk and rapin bitches
ninja robes leave to much to the imagination, pirates are always scantily clad
do i really have to say how cool pet monkeys and parrots are
if you get beaten as a ninja you take your own life, that shits weak, as a pirate you either get a wooden leg or an eyepatch, badass
ninjas have to be silent they have never had the joys of saying yarrrrg
also ninjas cant fart whenever they want to
cool hats
im not sure on this one but i think ninjas are celibate so they dont have any distractions
like titties, which are great
boats
who wants to use throwing stars when you can fire a huge ass cannon
huge ass cannons
mermaids
the only ninja that was ever cool is chris farley and he died, so you guys are screwed
rumor has it an australian ninja stole the amazing term "matey" from pirates then dropped the "y" so that now anytime an australian talks about his guy friends it sounds like theyre butt-sex-buddies
that creepy guy from kill bill with he foot long eyebrows
he just creeps me out
the movie hook, although pirates are portrayed as pussies fro gettin there asses kicked by 8 year olds with bamboo paintball guns, its a badass movie and smee is the man
feel free to add on i have to go now but i know theres more
Monday, January 14, 2008
response to things i like vs dont like
Things I like
-When someone shows up to class twice as stoned as you are and you are no longer the most fucked up kid in the room. especially when the teacher calls on them a lot and they always answer '.......wait, what was the question?'
-They way a girl says 'mhm' when you tell her she's about to get a shot in the mouth.
-when a girl leaves promptly in the morning after spending the night and you get like 2 more hours of sleep in an empty bed.
-being drunk enough that you don't mind walking home because there is always some sort of miscieviousness to get into.
-Wearing a button down shirt on a night you get black out then finding stuff in the breast pocket the next morning like cash or a girls #
-Directly contradicting extremely stupid people
-Directly contradicting extremely religious people
-Directly contradicting extremely political people
-Marathons on tv where they play sequels back to back
Things I don't like
-Anerobic Exercise or maybe Aerobic i cant remember which, the one that involves running
-Girls with chapped lips
-Girls who think they are hot because they are the only reasonable piece of ass at a party.
-Hanging out with, or even seeing, a drunken mistake when you're sober and having flashbacks that you had hoped were buried deep in your blackout subconcious
-Complicated bras and outfits, it honestly makes me avoid girls with too many buttons.
-When sober people disregard what you're saying because they think you're rambling drunk. I give great advice wasted.
-Drunk people who don't want you to drive because they think you're as drunk as they are.
-Patrick Swayze
-When someone shows up to class twice as stoned as you are and you are no longer the most fucked up kid in the room. especially when the teacher calls on them a lot and they always answer '.......wait, what was the question?'
-They way a girl says 'mhm' when you tell her she's about to get a shot in the mouth.
-when a girl leaves promptly in the morning after spending the night and you get like 2 more hours of sleep in an empty bed.
-being drunk enough that you don't mind walking home because there is always some sort of miscieviousness to get into.
-Wearing a button down shirt on a night you get black out then finding stuff in the breast pocket the next morning like cash or a girls #
-Directly contradicting extremely stupid people
-Directly contradicting extremely religious people
-Directly contradicting extremely political people
-Marathons on tv where they play sequels back to back
Things I don't like
-Anerobic Exercise or maybe Aerobic i cant remember which, the one that involves running
-Girls with chapped lips
-Girls who think they are hot because they are the only reasonable piece of ass at a party.
-Hanging out with, or even seeing, a drunken mistake when you're sober and having flashbacks that you had hoped were buried deep in your blackout subconcious
-Complicated bras and outfits, it honestly makes me avoid girls with too many buttons.
-When sober people disregard what you're saying because they think you're rambling drunk. I give great advice wasted.
-Drunk people who don't want you to drive because they think you're as drunk as they are.
-Patrick Swayze
transformers discussion
Transformers discussion
Transformers is the type of movie that really hit it's stride in telling a story. Transforming robots is a tough theme to fill 2.5 hours, so why is this the quickest 2 and a half hours ever? I think it has something to do with the rapid fire style of storytelling combined with 3 sets of really likable characters.
#1- Shia and the hot chick. The reason this works is because the director happened to get Shia right in his prime, before we got tired of him. so Shia- good. hot chick-is a wicked hot chick. nothing wrong with that. These two are a good combo because Shia has enough jokes especially about or involving the hot chick. classic.
#2- the army guy and his unit (hehe unit). Good combo here too. Army guy has a cute family which is barely introduced but draws in the sympathy vote. The group of army guys has some classic jokes while also providing a manly band of brothers type situation.
#3- hot scientist lady and the nerds. Nerds can go either way in a movie, they can be hysterical ala porkey's, revenge of the nerds, goonies, ben affleck, superbad and i think micheal bay knows this. so who does he get to be his main nerd? Anthony fucking Anderson. Brilliant.
Now here's the best part of this movie, any of these story lines could have fllled an entire 2 hour movie with maybe some filler. Instead we take all three story lines and mix them together with giant transforming alien robots. Even if you dont one set of these characters, you're bound to like at least 2 of them. and even if you dont, there is still the piece de resistance; the robots. They are what make the movie unique. They could have really gone either way. If the robots had bad dialouge and done lame shit, this movie would have sucked big time. Bay uses the fact that people were going to be very skeptical about how the robots look and act by building up a suspense to see them. He knows we spent 10$ to see his robots yet he waits to introduce them. Besides the first few scenes with the decepticons and a few quick shots of bumblebee, we dont get to see the robots up close and personal until an hour and 15 minutes into the movie. thats half way into the flick! It's brilliant because we're desperate to see them at that point, yet he satisfies the craving and then some with a full hour of pure robot action. The build up to seeing the robots really builds an attachment so that when you finally do see them, its amazing. For annisquam 2 we can use this same element with the ghost pirates. Not only can we use suspense for comedic effect, but we can also use it to get people drawn into the ghost pirates. We could use a signs type approach of just a few quick glances and sounds off our creatures. Transformers shows us that action/adventure can still be hilarious and in some ways much more comedicly satisfying than the garden variety comedy where you expect to laugh.
Transformers is the type of movie that really hit it's stride in telling a story. Transforming robots is a tough theme to fill 2.5 hours, so why is this the quickest 2 and a half hours ever? I think it has something to do with the rapid fire style of storytelling combined with 3 sets of really likable characters.
#1- Shia and the hot chick. The reason this works is because the director happened to get Shia right in his prime, before we got tired of him. so Shia- good. hot chick-is a wicked hot chick. nothing wrong with that. These two are a good combo because Shia has enough jokes especially about or involving the hot chick. classic.
#2- the army guy and his unit (hehe unit). Good combo here too. Army guy has a cute family which is barely introduced but draws in the sympathy vote. The group of army guys has some classic jokes while also providing a manly band of brothers type situation.
#3- hot scientist lady and the nerds. Nerds can go either way in a movie, they can be hysterical ala porkey's, revenge of the nerds, goonies, ben affleck, superbad and i think micheal bay knows this. so who does he get to be his main nerd? Anthony fucking Anderson. Brilliant.
Now here's the best part of this movie, any of these story lines could have fllled an entire 2 hour movie with maybe some filler. Instead we take all three story lines and mix them together with giant transforming alien robots. Even if you dont one set of these characters, you're bound to like at least 2 of them. and even if you dont, there is still the piece de resistance; the robots. They are what make the movie unique. They could have really gone either way. If the robots had bad dialouge and done lame shit, this movie would have sucked big time. Bay uses the fact that people were going to be very skeptical about how the robots look and act by building up a suspense to see them. He knows we spent 10$ to see his robots yet he waits to introduce them. Besides the first few scenes with the decepticons and a few quick shots of bumblebee, we dont get to see the robots up close and personal until an hour and 15 minutes into the movie. thats half way into the flick! It's brilliant because we're desperate to see them at that point, yet he satisfies the craving and then some with a full hour of pure robot action. The build up to seeing the robots really builds an attachment so that when you finally do see them, its amazing. For annisquam 2 we can use this same element with the ghost pirates. Not only can we use suspense for comedic effect, but we can also use it to get people drawn into the ghost pirates. We could use a signs type approach of just a few quick glances and sounds off our creatures. Transformers shows us that action/adventure can still be hilarious and in some ways much more comedicly satisfying than the garden variety comedy where you expect to laugh.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
and if you dont know....
-Building a robot with a personality to do all your work so you can sit around all day only the robot ends up following your example and becomes extremely lazy and starts smoking weed all day. Ends up moving out and becoming a drug dealer.
-Watching a drug bust out my window, smoking bowls. Honestly, what were these guys thinking driving a sketchy white van with no windows in the back while mexican. Guess they can change the name of the restaurant to the 'harboring house'. that van just screams illegal immigrant.
-Chinese food restaurant that advertises it's other companies through subliminal fortune cookies, 'new rugs are in your future', 'window cleaning sale benefits you today', or even just straight up ransom. ' bring 50 dollars to back alley for antidote to kung pow chicken'
-Getting at some of that rich old oil tycoon money by remarrying the chicks who just married them for their money.
-pills for restless leg syndrome, side effects may include drowziness, unexplained nausea, diarrea, increased sexual and gambling urges. and thats a cure?
-network execs moved too quick turning the geico cavemen into a show. i'd rather see a show about real vicious cavemen that run around our society unchecked and roam in packs attacking at random stealing babies and eating puppies, but at the same time live in our system and but car insurance.
-calling someone and whispering '7 days' and then stealing their remote and turning their tv on and off so they think the little girl from the ring is after them.
-hooking up with the girl who works at staples by telling her you'll push her easy button.
-trying to date a girl who's big into coke but only snorting sweet n low. sugar highs and lows end up making you just as jittery so the girl ends up thinking your hardcore,
-dating a girl who actually has an aunt named flo who is always showing up and being a cock blocking lesbian bitch.
-'to the tune of kanye's champion' Do you realize? that you're socks are made by champion?
-guy bungee jumping with a tortilla chip just like in the tostitos ad, but when he gets all the way to the bottom the chip breaks off in the salsa.
-Copying the scene in the departed where Frenchy? and another guy are talking about how anyone who's not paying attention to them must be a cop only instead every girl who doesnt pay attention must be a lesbian.
-what if you could learn a text book by smoking the pages?
-DJ Vito, italian mc at the harbor house (real person)
-Watching a drug bust out my window, smoking bowls. Honestly, what were these guys thinking driving a sketchy white van with no windows in the back while mexican. Guess they can change the name of the restaurant to the 'harboring house'. that van just screams illegal immigrant.
-Chinese food restaurant that advertises it's other companies through subliminal fortune cookies, 'new rugs are in your future', 'window cleaning sale benefits you today', or even just straight up ransom. ' bring 50 dollars to back alley for antidote to kung pow chicken'
-Getting at some of that rich old oil tycoon money by remarrying the chicks who just married them for their money.
-pills for restless leg syndrome, side effects may include drowziness, unexplained nausea, diarrea, increased sexual and gambling urges. and thats a cure?
-network execs moved too quick turning the geico cavemen into a show. i'd rather see a show about real vicious cavemen that run around our society unchecked and roam in packs attacking at random stealing babies and eating puppies, but at the same time live in our system and but car insurance.
-calling someone and whispering '7 days' and then stealing their remote and turning their tv on and off so they think the little girl from the ring is after them.
-hooking up with the girl who works at staples by telling her you'll push her easy button.
-trying to date a girl who's big into coke but only snorting sweet n low. sugar highs and lows end up making you just as jittery so the girl ends up thinking your hardcore,
-dating a girl who actually has an aunt named flo who is always showing up and being a cock blocking lesbian bitch.
-'to the tune of kanye's champion' Do you realize? that you're socks are made by champion?
-guy bungee jumping with a tortilla chip just like in the tostitos ad, but when he gets all the way to the bottom the chip breaks off in the salsa.
-Copying the scene in the departed where Frenchy? and another guy are talking about how anyone who's not paying attention to them must be a cop only instead every girl who doesnt pay attention must be a lesbian.
-what if you could learn a text book by smoking the pages?
-DJ Vito, italian mc at the harbor house (real person)
Things I like (written while sleeping in Psych class)
-Waking up somewhere you don't remember falling asleep in, especially naked in a girl's bed (it's probably better if she's gone too, and you don't look around for pictures of her)
-Doing stupid shit
-Hot chicks who like me- wink, staring contest, light graze, the thrill of the hunt- it's really what makes life interesting and worthwhile
-Beer in a bottle
-Ice water
-My iPhone that I got for $400 instead of $600
-Doing stupid shit
-Hot chicks who like me- wink, staring contest, light graze, the thrill of the hunt- it's really what makes life interesting and worthwhile
-Beer in a bottle
-Ice water
-My iPhone that I got for $400 instead of $600
Things I hate (written in Psych class)
-Psych class
-Girls who raise their hand while the professor is looking down and wonder why they aren't being called on.
-People who ask for the time when a clock is easily visible
-Wool hats in 70-80 degree weather
-Those stupid hats that Cuban revolutionaries wear, with the short brim and the poofy top
-Beanies with visors (unless worn backwards or sidewayz)
-Smart-asses who sit in the front of the room
-Guys with earrings, especially white boys with iceberg (probably fake)
-ugly girl's butt cracks
-people with no upper lip
-people with terrible teeth who always smile
-girls who look hot at first, especially out of the corner of your eye forcing you to turn your head, but then get worse and worse
-People who read, especially incredibly esoteric works, and then refer to the books in class as if everyone has read them. (Especially in community college- go do some drugs or something)
-People who have a problem with me saying black or mexican
-People who wear shirts like "Stop Genocide!"
-Half-assed Blow J's (or even 3/4 of a beej)
-chicks who are self-conscious about their ugly nipples
-ugly nipples
-bellies that stick out further than titties
-bush
-Girls who raise their hand while the professor is looking down and wonder why they aren't being called on.
-People who ask for the time when a clock is easily visible
-Wool hats in 70-80 degree weather
-Those stupid hats that Cuban revolutionaries wear, with the short brim and the poofy top
-Beanies with visors (unless worn backwards or sidewayz)
-Smart-asses who sit in the front of the room
-Guys with earrings, especially white boys with iceberg (probably fake)
-ugly girl's butt cracks
-people with no upper lip
-people with terrible teeth who always smile
-girls who look hot at first, especially out of the corner of your eye forcing you to turn your head, but then get worse and worse
-People who read, especially incredibly esoteric works, and then refer to the books in class as if everyone has read them. (Especially in community college- go do some drugs or something)
-People who have a problem with me saying black or mexican
-People who wear shirts like "Stop Genocide!"
-Half-assed Blow J's (or even 3/4 of a beej)
-chicks who are self-conscious about their ugly nipples
-ugly nipples
-bellies that stick out further than titties
-bush
Psychology Class Notes- Only went twice
-The feminist acrosss the room makes me wish I had a grenade.
-After I got tequila'd up (which when I drink, doesn't get me drunk, but rather acts like a fast forward button on my life- I just wake up the next morning) and pissed so much in my room it leaked through the floor onto the kitchen table, I realzied I had a problem and bought a porta pottie.
-Things I learned:
Dudes always show up late for class (unless they gay)
Dudes never do the assignment on time (unless they ")
Dudes never ask questions about the homework (unless they ")
-In fact, there should be an after-school mafia that beats up the kids who remind teachers to collect homework.
-When I see ugly chicks laughing at jokes about how good sex is, it almost makes me what to quit drinking because I could be that guy that gave her the opportunity to share in that joke.
-In a room full of ugly chicks, the hot chick looks much sluttier. Maybe because every guy in the room is eye-fucking that cornea whore. (Did she just look at me? She wants it, uh uh, she wants it, and Ima give it to her.)
-Honestly there's only so many BJ's that can make up for certain deformities. There needs to be a chart or some sort of diagram. One wart= one extra HJ, each pimple is one more minute of slobbin the knobbin. Missing a limb- hope it's not a leg because I'm definitely getting a foot job.
-After I got tequila'd up (which when I drink, doesn't get me drunk, but rather acts like a fast forward button on my life- I just wake up the next morning) and pissed so much in my room it leaked through the floor onto the kitchen table, I realzied I had a problem and bought a porta pottie.
-Things I learned:
Dudes always show up late for class (unless they gay)
Dudes never do the assignment on time (unless they ")
Dudes never ask questions about the homework (unless they ")
-In fact, there should be an after-school mafia that beats up the kids who remind teachers to collect homework.
-When I see ugly chicks laughing at jokes about how good sex is, it almost makes me what to quit drinking because I could be that guy that gave her the opportunity to share in that joke.
-In a room full of ugly chicks, the hot chick looks much sluttier. Maybe because every guy in the room is eye-fucking that cornea whore. (Did she just look at me? She wants it, uh uh, she wants it, and Ima give it to her.)
-Honestly there's only so many BJ's that can make up for certain deformities. There needs to be a chart or some sort of diagram. One wart= one extra HJ, each pimple is one more minute of slobbin the knobbin. Missing a limb- hope it's not a leg because I'm definitely getting a foot job.
this is how we roll
-Putting a patent on names that begin with i- so that apple has to pay you when they finally invent it. i-toilet, i-wife, i-blow up sex doll..
-Cincinatti Bengals getting bought out by Bengay, change mascot to a hemroid
-Judging girls by candy bar sizes; fun size, king size, tear n' share.
- Learning about taste buds in class, stoned kids in the back misunderstand and think lesson is about tasty buds.
-Seeing eye monkey who helps you tell if a girl is hot or not.
-Calling a blind guy greedy for having a hot wife
-Describing a girl as " do it with the lights on good"
-Annisquam: High in High Society
-Become a proffesional arguer and just argue with people until they pay you for no reason.
-Bringing a portable grill to class and grilling up some burgers in the back.
-Puerto Rican guy who bumps techno so loud you can hear him coming for miles, when he finally gets out of car, pulls out an i-phone with attached subwoofer and continues to pump gasolina by daddy yankee
-Telling a cop on a horse that you're allergic in order to avoid a ticket.
-Ways to get famous;
-Get shot
-Straight up Piracy
-Saving people from fires, possibly setting fires first.
- moving into meerkat manor.
-Answers heard at north shore community college to the question of what country you would hit if you drove south from the u.s. : Cuba, South America, Central America.
-Songs that fat joe should have wrote, instead of lean back; sit down. 'bitch make me a sandwich', jump up, jump up, and then nap.
-Your gene pool needs chlorine
-falling asleep in class then waking up in the next, getting credit for both.
-gay guy who falls in love with his proctologist
-calling up recorded audio services and choosing the spanish option as a cheap alternative to spanish lessons
-Asking a guy in a slayer shirt if he's heard the new kanye.
-Optimus Prime singing 'ayo technology"
-Launch driver with missing 'a' on his jacket meets an actual lunch driver who drops off peoples lunches
-Kids waiting for a class to start on the first day finally realize class is a scam when they see the teachers name is Rusty Giblits.
-Teacher who pretends to be student on the first day of class to see how long kids will wait before leaving, possibly encourages rest of class to leave to avoid work.
-Signing up for pyschology classes to meet crazy girls.
-Old Lady teaching computer classes at community college on type writer. Was around for the first computer, still uses it. Thinks technology is work of the devil and advises students to avoid them for fear of possesion. Scared of how quickly computer works. Takes lots of naps. bakes cookies, but then yells at kids if they try and eat them. Gives lectures about how easier things are now a days. uses words like 'pianist' without laughing. bitter that computers can do everything she had to learn to do herself, tries to race computer with math skills, loses.
-Waiting outside pre-med classes to impress girls then leaving before class starts.
-Signing up funny names in class just to hear them called during morning list off, maybe using celebrity names. also keeps down class numbers.
- Homeless guy with high hopes, his sign reads " Will work for above average wage, warm bed, health plan and options for early retirement"
Saturday, January 12, 2008
First!
Random Thoughts
-Mixtape to play at babys birth: Born in the USA Bruce Springsteen, Titties and beer if its a boy, She swallowed it if its a girl- teach them young
-At a costume party throwing game at a dude in drag
-Giving someone pimples in their sleep in the shape of something by rubbing oil on certain spots
-Getting famous by using free advertising by getting in the google earth picture
-Not writing on a passed out black guy because you can't see it or using wite-out
-Bullseyes on urinal cakes
-Burning fingertips to lose fingerprints
-Placing a dresser outside and having it shake as people go by thinking there's something in it
-Having nightmares every night of your life
-"Never fall victim to a chicken you might be sticking even if if you think the punani is fingerlicking" - Guru
-80's music as you pull up to the spot- different song every time for same character
-Different hiphop quote to begin each episode with different theme song every episode
-Better Late Than Never delivery
-Rice rocket with fire extinguisher in case engine explodes
-Photo book- Big Man, Little Bitch: pictures of wrestlers and their dogs
-"Dump in her gut, raw from the giddy up, better choose the right pump or pick the kiddies up"- Big Boi
-Ballin on a budget- getting a hybrid Piece model kit for the back of your car to fool the hippie chick
-Staring at blind people, arguing with a blind guy for wearing headphones while walking around
-Former homeless guy being domesticated/guy becoming homeless for the first time learning tricks of the trade
-Making fun of homeless people in a movie is okay because are they ever going to find out unless someone tells them and they scrounge together the cash, watch it and rise up against
-No problem cussing out the deaf, staring at the blind, putting hot sauce on the tasteless guys burger, giving a girl with no nose a dirty sanchez, feeling up a big boobed chick without the sense of touch
-Blinding silence
-Putting a cigarette through the gromit hole in your ear to hang onto it, or putting an earring through the gromit
-Meter maid's little cart getting towed
-Van driving by with everyone inside but one guy with their shirts over their noses
-Why is there always one guy getting pulled over on a traffic jam? How the hell is he speeding?
-Crime scene tape around a playground
-"Its a whole lot easier fucking girls you don't like when you're drunk. I know that may sound harsh, but in my defense, a lot of them were drunk too. If anyone was being taken advantage of it was me, and that had to stop." - you kill me
-I saw a license plate that said dnglbry
-Sitting down to pee to make less noise in the middle of the night
-"I'm a star twinkle twinkle mofo" bray
-Pissing on a security system to short out intercom/keypad
-Supersize me 2: doing the eating only mcdonalds when the monopoly game is going on
-Halloween costume- Siamese twins: guy with skeleton attached to hip
-Keeping funeral tags on your car to get sympathy treatment while driving
-Rock band name: Flappy Badge
-High school yearbook quote: facial reconstruction surgery coming soon or a girl leaves her number and she'll be slutting it up in 10 years if anyones interested
-Chazz dog is a white chow yun fat
-Prank calls back on telemarketers
-Cocky conscience
-Gluing a picture of a chick's face to your hand
-"You the kind of girl make me wanna grip that handle and let shots off in the air busting at random." -Akon
-Having a desk/office in a parking garage
-My fan club president: my dog
-Turning 21 a second time to redo a year
-Creepy neighbors: calling you to welcome you to the neighborhood
-Nerd's highest quality porn: embrace of the vampire/poison ivy 2 alyssa milano deuce pack. It has the old-school who's the boss? Feel to it, and catches her just before her charmed no-nudity or having sex with rash-procuring plants and night-walking canine-endowed white people clause.
-No country for old man (a simple story with life-changing dialogue and a true ending) a companion piece to raising Arizona (not necessarily in meaning but moreso in terms of character, structure, setting, and situation)
-on a piece of toast there is a face perhaps of a biblical figure
-ugk has many interesting musical ideas and elements that grow underwhelmed by reused sounds that should have last been heard 5 years ago. But with such a great kick and bass sound (mostly because of completely unique southern buy a new woofer for the car every album because we're gonna bass the shit out of them) and if there was ever a song I'd want to hear chopped and screwed it would absolutely be international players anthem. The beginning of the track, i though my file was corrupted and skipping. After fonally making the effort to pick up the iPod and check to see how quickly the song was playing, it started. It seems that, the same way a certain three chord harmony will drive a punk rock FAM to Spatz out into doing the epileptic dance. Ugk seems to affect the ears of Texas differently maybe purp really does the trick
-Freeway's album has several amazing tracks, however rather than being average tracks where every sound is equally mediocre, freeway has incredible beats that are done a misservice due to production. Too much hihat, crashing breakbeats that make instrumentals but impossible to hear vocals, the problem being that freeway sounds great over bombastic soul, but maybe with the levels remixed. It makes some songs difficult to listen to. However the samples are flipped brilliantly combining unique vocals with such a varied textured organic sound. Dragon-slaying snare in walk with me.
-Do blind people step in their guide dog's shit a lot?
-Student gets Sat scores revoked because he tested positive for steroids
-Is it just me or are there no bald homeless people? I guess its got something going for it, stress-free lifestyle and all
-"hit a blind guy today while I was drivng. Came out of nowhere. Didn't even see him." "thats funny that you didn't see him."
-"you can mess up the sheets girl it is what it is- squirter!" -Yung Berg
-Dirty old man first scene girl at movie old man sits down next to her
-Slashing someones tires after they get a boot
-Its not rape if you apologize
-Standing in front of a bus stop movie poster and blending in with the picture
-As I was making a left turn a kid was running across the street and smacked right into the side of my van
-Special Ed: The notion of being special: destined for greatness, chosen by fate or something else- a out of control van is about to crash into a group of children and the teacher throws one of them to safety. Later on that boy grows up and is walking along when a huge explosion goes off over his head in a building above him and he runs in to help.He later on a whim buys a series of bus tickets off ebay and travels the country
-Driving mittens/nose muffs- in annisquam there is only one day of winter
-Ghost movie starring real ghosts- or kill an actor
-Music contests with other musicians, film contests with other directors
-Prepaid pizza plan
-Horn that honks behind you
-Lesser known allied powers in WWII: the north pole
-Fat Jesus
-Vag stamp, hip stamp
-A car so old that it uses a tiny old timey skeleton key
-Straws with a grooved edge to fit the mouth better
-Most ridiculously good jobs: Life caddy, Alcohol tolerance tester,
-Knuckle fucking scum cunt
-Revving the defrost at a stop sign in the winter
-Inside woman- caveman porn
-Two double sided mirrors facing each other in order to see infinity
-Trying to describe a fat chick without mentioning her size
-Delivery guy waiting forever at the door, starts to take a piss and then has to stop when they finally come to the door
-Blumpkin roll brand toilet paper
-Billy762 and counting
-Mixtape to play at babys birth: Born in the USA Bruce Springsteen, Titties and beer if its a boy, She swallowed it if its a girl- teach them young
-At a costume party throwing game at a dude in drag
-Giving someone pimples in their sleep in the shape of something by rubbing oil on certain spots
-Getting famous by using free advertising by getting in the google earth picture
-Not writing on a passed out black guy because you can't see it or using wite-out
-Bullseyes on urinal cakes
-Burning fingertips to lose fingerprints
-Placing a dresser outside and having it shake as people go by thinking there's something in it
-Having nightmares every night of your life
-"Never fall victim to a chicken you might be sticking even if if you think the punani is fingerlicking" - Guru
-80's music as you pull up to the spot- different song every time for same character
-Different hiphop quote to begin each episode with different theme song every episode
-Better Late Than Never delivery
-Rice rocket with fire extinguisher in case engine explodes
-Photo book- Big Man, Little Bitch: pictures of wrestlers and their dogs
-"Dump in her gut, raw from the giddy up, better choose the right pump or pick the kiddies up"- Big Boi
-Ballin on a budget- getting a hybrid Piece model kit for the back of your car to fool the hippie chick
-Staring at blind people, arguing with a blind guy for wearing headphones while walking around
-Former homeless guy being domesticated/guy becoming homeless for the first time learning tricks of the trade
-Making fun of homeless people in a movie is okay because are they ever going to find out unless someone tells them and they scrounge together the cash, watch it and rise up against
-No problem cussing out the deaf, staring at the blind, putting hot sauce on the tasteless guys burger, giving a girl with no nose a dirty sanchez, feeling up a big boobed chick without the sense of touch
-Blinding silence
-Putting a cigarette through the gromit hole in your ear to hang onto it, or putting an earring through the gromit
-Meter maid's little cart getting towed
-Van driving by with everyone inside but one guy with their shirts over their noses
-Why is there always one guy getting pulled over on a traffic jam? How the hell is he speeding?
-Crime scene tape around a playground
-"Its a whole lot easier fucking girls you don't like when you're drunk. I know that may sound harsh, but in my defense, a lot of them were drunk too. If anyone was being taken advantage of it was me, and that had to stop." - you kill me
-I saw a license plate that said dnglbry
-Sitting down to pee to make less noise in the middle of the night
-"I'm a star twinkle twinkle mofo" bray
-Pissing on a security system to short out intercom/keypad
-Supersize me 2: doing the eating only mcdonalds when the monopoly game is going on
-Halloween costume- Siamese twins: guy with skeleton attached to hip
-Keeping funeral tags on your car to get sympathy treatment while driving
-Rock band name: Flappy Badge
-High school yearbook quote: facial reconstruction surgery coming soon or a girl leaves her number and she'll be slutting it up in 10 years if anyones interested
-Chazz dog is a white chow yun fat
-Prank calls back on telemarketers
-Cocky conscience
-Gluing a picture of a chick's face to your hand
-"You the kind of girl make me wanna grip that handle and let shots off in the air busting at random." -Akon
-Having a desk/office in a parking garage
-My fan club president: my dog
-Turning 21 a second time to redo a year
-Creepy neighbors: calling you to welcome you to the neighborhood
-Nerd's highest quality porn: embrace of the vampire/poison ivy 2 alyssa milano deuce pack. It has the old-school who's the boss? Feel to it, and catches her just before her charmed no-nudity or having sex with rash-procuring plants and night-walking canine-endowed white people clause.
-No country for old man (a simple story with life-changing dialogue and a true ending) a companion piece to raising Arizona (not necessarily in meaning but moreso in terms of character, structure, setting, and situation)
-on a piece of toast there is a face perhaps of a biblical figure
-ugk has many interesting musical ideas and elements that grow underwhelmed by reused sounds that should have last been heard 5 years ago. But with such a great kick and bass sound (mostly because of completely unique southern buy a new woofer for the car every album because we're gonna bass the shit out of them) and if there was ever a song I'd want to hear chopped and screwed it would absolutely be international players anthem. The beginning of the track, i though my file was corrupted and skipping. After fonally making the effort to pick up the iPod and check to see how quickly the song was playing, it started. It seems that, the same way a certain three chord harmony will drive a punk rock FAM to Spatz out into doing the epileptic dance. Ugk seems to affect the ears of Texas differently maybe purp really does the trick
-Freeway's album has several amazing tracks, however rather than being average tracks where every sound is equally mediocre, freeway has incredible beats that are done a misservice due to production. Too much hihat, crashing breakbeats that make instrumentals but impossible to hear vocals, the problem being that freeway sounds great over bombastic soul, but maybe with the levels remixed. It makes some songs difficult to listen to. However the samples are flipped brilliantly combining unique vocals with such a varied textured organic sound. Dragon-slaying snare in walk with me.
-Do blind people step in their guide dog's shit a lot?
-Student gets Sat scores revoked because he tested positive for steroids
-Is it just me or are there no bald homeless people? I guess its got something going for it, stress-free lifestyle and all
-"hit a blind guy today while I was drivng. Came out of nowhere. Didn't even see him." "thats funny that you didn't see him."
-"you can mess up the sheets girl it is what it is- squirter!" -Yung Berg
-Dirty old man first scene girl at movie old man sits down next to her
-Slashing someones tires after they get a boot
-Its not rape if you apologize
-Standing in front of a bus stop movie poster and blending in with the picture
-As I was making a left turn a kid was running across the street and smacked right into the side of my van
-Special Ed: The notion of being special: destined for greatness, chosen by fate or something else- a out of control van is about to crash into a group of children and the teacher throws one of them to safety. Later on that boy grows up and is walking along when a huge explosion goes off over his head in a building above him and he runs in to help.He later on a whim buys a series of bus tickets off ebay and travels the country
-Driving mittens/nose muffs- in annisquam there is only one day of winter
-Ghost movie starring real ghosts- or kill an actor
-Music contests with other musicians, film contests with other directors
-Prepaid pizza plan
-Horn that honks behind you
-Lesser known allied powers in WWII: the north pole
-Fat Jesus
-Vag stamp, hip stamp
-A car so old that it uses a tiny old timey skeleton key
-Straws with a grooved edge to fit the mouth better
-Most ridiculously good jobs: Life caddy, Alcohol tolerance tester,
-Knuckle fucking scum cunt
-Revving the defrost at a stop sign in the winter
-Inside woman- caveman porn
-Two double sided mirrors facing each other in order to see infinity
-Trying to describe a fat chick without mentioning her size
-Delivery guy waiting forever at the door, starts to take a piss and then has to stop when they finally come to the door
-Blumpkin roll brand toilet paper
-Billy762 and counting
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