Stories from around the Olympic Village

Here at the BRM we don't necessarily care for the warm-hearted mushy stuff that most news outlets cover during the Olympics. However a few stories managed to catch my eye during the past week...

A pair of Russian ice dancers are getting some heat for their costumes. In pre-trials they drew headlines for the aboriginal costumes deemed too offensive for the Olympics.

So to appease audiences they lost the black face, however they also added some sweet new moves.

I tried this dance move with a girl in Vegas..didn't work out so well for me

Figure skating is kinda ridiculous to begin with, but add in racism and hot Russian chicks and you got my attention. Plus you gotta love the Russians for having no idea what is offensive about this. They didn't have any idea how to make these costumes politicly correct.

The facial expressions are priceless

But we American's can't get too high and mighty, we are not without scandle ourselves. Maintaining the tradition of being the scummiest athletes around, U.S snowboarder Scotty Lago,

was promptly kicked out of the Olympic Village after posting these pictures on Facebook...

...under the Album title, "The Olympics are gayer than unicycles". Gotta love a snowboarder with class. Can't wait to see what Shawn White does with his gold to top this. To quote the wise, patriotic street hockey player from D2, " Go Team Usa, Go."

Geez Mass Cash just say it already..

hmmm... impressive nickname.

The Empire State claims another Boston Legend

R.I.P#50

...and KG's knee ligaments.

Best Combo since Rice & Beans

Titties and Tacos - Ladies, I hope I don't offend you by posting this "Art" but The Jersey Jew loves both Titties and Tacos.

http://www.tandtanda.com/

This is not a game

If you think Coolio gets no respect, how about 50 Cent in Africa?

Skip ahead to about 1:40, or just rock out for a minute.

For the full story, MTV style, and the followup, where you realize your parents only want to help you.

Chain snatching in hip hop has reached epidemic levels. The big problem is that the chains don't mean what they used to.

We've come a long way from Mr. T and his chains that took an hour a day to put on. As he said, he wore them to remember the chains of his ancestors- something makes me think that T-Pain isn't trying to honor Grandpappy with that necklace.

More importantly, though, we should use this space to help rappers find their lost chains.

Rapper Yung Berg has a really cool Transformers chain. It doesn't transform into anything, but it is pink.

Unfortunately, it now belongs to this guy.

Juelz Santana is also looking for his chain- it is supposedly in England somewhere.

Lil' Boosie at least protected his, and when someone came up in his house trying to jack his chain, Boosie gave homeboy a lil' beatdown. And then after that, put a $30,000 hit out on the guy because he was trying to sue Boosie for battery!

As Boosie puts it though,

"Yeah, we had to whoop a nigga ass for like a hour straight,” Boosie told XXLmag.com. “It was just usual shit. You know how niggas be gettin out of line? It was just some…recreation.”

But how are you going to keep your hands off something like this?

Now, most of the time when you get your chain snatched, you just get your feelings hurt a little bit. But how about my man Waka Flocka Flame, an up-and-coming rapper out of the ATL, who was recently shot twice for not giving up his chains? And, in true bad-ass Cam'ron style, he drove his bleeding self to the hospital. Cam'ron gets extra points because they shot both of his arms.

Damn Waka, that's why you have a spare- so you can give up one and nobody gets hurt!

I'm working on a chain of my own. What do you think?

For more chain snatching history, check out Complex's article.

Bobby Crook Note:

It's not just the rappers, athletes are getting more thug every day. Check out Marquis Daniel's new chain. It's his own head in diamonds and gold.

Oh how the mighty have fallen

Coolio was by far my favorite rapper growing up. I remember I bought the cassette single for Too Hot, but I was only able to listen to the first verse of the song. I was in the car with my mom, and as soon as she started paying attention to what he was saying, she hucked that tape out the window! It was the only time I've ever cried.

I was wondering what he was up to- sure enough, he was arrested for crack possession at the airport. (People just don't get it that you really shouldn't bring bad stuff on the airplane. Have your boy hook you up when you land!)

But just before this, we should have seen it coming.

http://www.dailystar.co.uk/bigbrother/view/71209/EXCLUSIVE-Coolio-s-gig-gaffe/

Hey, if you're from England, and you were a part of this....

Doesn't anyone remember Gangsta's Paradise? Hand on My Nutsac? You don't play Coolio like that.

Much love to Coolio and I hope he gets back to the top without the help of VH1.

For those of you who didn't get what you really wanted for Valentine's Day

Had to post it

I don't like stealing from other websites, but when they're just reposting craig's list stuff, it's not too bad. Happy holidays.

Long weekend

Well folks it's Friday before a long weekend. These days drag on forever... In honor of making this day go by a little faster, I will pass on this link.

http://www.laserportraits.net/

While Mama cash never let me get laser's in the background, I did get some fake tree's.

Enjoy the long weekend.

Mas$ n DJ SC

Could it be...

Not too long ago, on this very site, my colleague the Albino Rhino was complimenting one of the best shows around, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, and by doing so took a jab at Lost. Well, it seems that someone in Hollywood is listening because last night's episode had a special guest star...

Let's also hope that they listen to his alien idea, I think the smoke monster could use a cohort.

Response to Sall-E

That Luke Wilson movie reminds me of another trailer I saw recently...

*link is kinda bunk, try skipping around a bit if it freezes. i apologize, this kinda shoddy linkage is unbecoming of the Blumpkin Reading Material.

Forget about those AT&T commercials for a moment...

I know we're not the biggest fans of Luke Wilson at the moment (especially here at BRM), but after watching this trailer…

...I now have renewed faith in Young Luke. Looks like he's going back to something that works: acting like a strong-jawed, silently frustrated, Wes Anderson-y wimp who, with the help of some friends and the love of a woman, finds his way. Luke is also falling back on an old lucrative genre. That's right, college movies. Old School definitely brought Luke Wilson some mainstream attention back in '03, but Tenure seems to deviate from the usual collegiate sytle. It is not a played-out, drunken-and-sloppy, beer helmet, Hank The Tank, streaking-through-the-quad, and KY Jelly Wrestling kind of movie. In this one Luke plays a college professor down on his luck because he is denied tenure by the English department. Add in a love interest (a fellow professor who is tenured in his stead) and a plucky sidekick (played by David Koechner), and you've got yourself what just might be an indie darling.

I think Koechner may have the best role in the film as an Anthropology professor. Is it just me, or could this be DutchMasters in about 20 years?

But the best part about Tenure is its shooting location. It was filmed at my college! That means that yes, Luke Wilson came into my classroom. Yes, I woke up one morning to find extras playing Frisbee outside my window. Yes, rumors ran rampant that Luke had a fling with a student. Yes, his black Jeep was parked in the center of campus and girls sunbathed in bikinis in the chill April weather. I can only hope that one day I will actually get to watch this movie and remember fondly my college days. Without a beer helmet or KY wrestling, thankyouverymuch.

Almost an angry rant

I almost had a conniption (had to google that to spell it) when I saw the best TV shows. It really made me, and I'm almost afraid to say it, doubt some of the writers at blumpkin. That all being said, upon further inspection I found that I am a moron and Bobby Rowboat, as always, was spot on. Notice that the title of the TV show piece is best of TV's PAY channels (Late addition: I guess the whole second paragraph talks about that it's pay cable- guess I can't read.)

Thats right, so Bobby was spot on and I apologize for ever doubting him (Lost doesn't even get a ballot there Dutch (Actually, I've never seen Lost, but I still don't think it deserves it even if it could (Yes, that's ignorant, but seriously, hasn't it been like a hundred seasons and they haven't closed it up yet? Just wait- aliens are gonna show up at the end like in the Indiana Jones That Doesn't Belong))).

Now to prove that this is not just an angry rant, I will attempt to get to a point. I'm not gonna do the best five TV shows because I do not watch enough of the medium to fully grasp the field, but I will do the best TV show, paid or free, bar none:

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Best Episode: The D.E.N.N.I.S. System, although there are a bunch up there. If this episode doesn't change the way you deal with women chances are you are gonna wake up next to a tranny one day.

Bingability(What??): Not only can I watch episodes back to back all day, I can watch the same episode back to back all day. The show is so great and unpredictable that it actually takes you about three times to fully appreciate all the comedy that is packed into it. You miss like three more jokes when you are still reeling from a first. Also this show has the rare ability to combine slapstick style humor with almost a more sophisticated- well, no, not sophisticated- but subtle dry humor as well. As i said it is lost on many but it definitely ups the replay value.

Hot Chick Factor: Okay, leaves a lot to be desired, but at least Dee isn't fat

Let's run it down:

The Waitress (yup she has no name, her actual name according to the script is the waitress, which you would think is normal but she is in every episode): Now maybe if you're the type of guy to like the kinda emo, kinda weird, kinda short hair type then she might be great. I'm not.

Artemis the Man Cow (a working title): Absolute beast, but if you're into fat chicks then she would be right up your alley, but she probably wouldn't fit. Note: attitude to match her waistline.

Sweet Dee: Again she's not fat. There's nothing really that's unattractive about her, but there's nothing really that's attractive about her, except that she's skinny.

Ugh moments: Can't think of any. I mean I'm sure they exist if examined under a microscope for a while, but any have been overshadowed by the unpredictability of rest of the show. Note that said unpredictability becomes not unrealistic; the unpredictabilities actually all work perfectly with the characters if you get to know them.

It started off on a wicked low budget, the writers are the main characters, and come on, don't you want to know what this guy gets himself into on a daily basis?

Be thankful for the movies you do get

Because there are some stinkers out there that never get released.

Spring Break Anyone?

Since when did people start paying to go muff diving?...Anyway, apparently there is a market for it though and Spirit Airlines is all over it...

Why not call him...

First Nickname

MONGO!

Big Baby wants a new nickname

This is an open call to all BRM correspondents. Glen Davis a.k.a Big Baby aka Baby Shaq aka Coffee Black has decided that he needs a new nickname. Any Suggestions?

The Best of TV's Pay Channels

Other correspondents of the BRM have covered the film genre. Dutch has given us the best and worst of this year's movies, but it's time to move on to another medium, Television. TV has come a long way since the days of the A-Team and Charlie's Angels.

This no longer passes for drama. Only comedy.

Budgets keep getting bigger and special effects are getting cheaper. With the advancement of HBO and Showtime's TV series, we as viewers have been introduced to a new style of TV show. No ads, no censorship and no long-term commitments attract bigger name actors which means we all win. For those of you looking to sample the best of what HBO and Showtime have to offer, here are my top 5 of TV shows you may have missed by being a cheap bastard and only buying basic cable.

Better learn how to steal some premium channels.

I'll be judging the shows on 3 criteria:

1. Bingability- How much of this show you can watch. Is it a once a week type affair? Or can you sit back on a rainy day and bust through 6 straight hours without blinking an eye? This is a key factor in TV enjoyment.

2. The Hot Chick Factor- We love to watch beautiful people. Call me shallow, but I don't want to watch CSI simply because I'm pretty sure that David Caruso is the leprechaun.

Twins?

Some shows I can watch only because the main girl is amazingly hot. It can carry a bad show, like Friends. We in America love pretty people, especially when they have problems. It just makes TV better.

3. UGH Moments- Unbelievably Goddamn Hokey Moments. Lines like, "..but that kinda stuff only happens in movies, right?" Times where you know you're not watching real people. These moments are the bane of any good TV show; lazy writing. Nothing worse than being able to predict a character's line before it happens. These moments just make me say, "Ugh".

Honorable Mention: Entourage

Starting off easy here. Pretty much everyone has heard of Vinny Chase and his boys' adventures in Hollywood. I give it an honorable mention because it is now on Spike TV and a complete sell out. Still one of the most entertaining shows on TV, if only for Ari's rants. I left it out of the top 5 because this show is basically the Hollywood fantasy show. You can watch any episode in any season and not be lost. There is a plot, but it's pretty irrelevant. We tune in every week during the summer for 20 minutes of the latest Hollywood trends and stars.

Best Episode: The Day Fuckers

Bingability- Very High. These episodes fly by very easily. I'd say the only way to get a good Entourage fix is to rent a DVD and put it on play all. The episodes are so short that it's just a tease to try and watch these once per week.

Hot Chick Factor- Very High. One of the few shows on HBO to take advantage of the nudity, there are lots of hot chicks on this show. This show turned Sloan into a commonly known name. Poor girl, no one knows her real name even though she was rated the #1 most desirable girl this year. For the ladies, come on who couldn't love a face like this..

UGH Moments- Very High. One of the downsides of this show. Guest stars are frequent and always type-cast. We rarely see any groundbreaking acting on this show. Vinny bangs chicks, Turtle gets high, Johnny goes crazy and E whines. Shake, Stir and Repeat for 6 seasons.

#5 Eastbound and Down

He's fuckin' in. Kenny Powers replaced Colonel Sanders as my favorite bearded redneck. This show mixes Danny McBride's loud, filthy mouth and overblown confidence with a perfectly clashable lower-middle class neighborhood. If you even kinda liked Pineapple Express than you will thoroughly enjoy Eastbound and Down.

Best Episode: Chapter 3

Bingability- Low. Unfortunately there are only 6 episodes of this show. There are rumors that there could be more, but for now, we have to do with the 3 hour glimpse into this hilariousness. Once you've seen it, that's all you need.

Hot Chick Factor- Also Low. Despite a few glimpses of naked flesh, most of it gross, there are surprisingly few attractive people on this show. Starting with Kenny, who looks like a cross between Joe Dirt and John Belushi, and ending with his female interest, a chubbier Leah Remini, this show is full of uggos. This doesn't hamper the comedy, but it is slightly disappointing. For the ladies, Craig Robinson?

Ohhh, he's so handsome.

UGH Moments: Low. This show thrives on unpredictability. I couldn't have predicted the ending with a million guesses. The cuts between episodes were unlike anything I've ever seen. This is pretty much a movie cut into 6 hilarious parts.

#4 Weeds

Actually pronounced "WHWeeds", this show catalogues the lives of the Botwins. Most notably Nancy Botwin, a suburban, single mom, pot dealer. Much like Entourage, even though Nancy is the main character, she is also the least interesting. Side characters like Kevin Nealon as Doug and Nancy's brother in-law, Andy are what really sets this show apart. Blending comedy with drama, this show has something for everyone. The later seasons start to drag when Mexicans are thrown into the mix, but this show is still one of the best around. Watch this show and tell me you don't like Shane, I'll call shinangins. That kid makes Dennis the Menace look like a chump.

Best Episode: The Punishment Light

Bingability- High. These DVD's go down easier than White Castle. I found myself flying through DVD's when I first started watching this show. Good cliffhangers, teen drama, drug dealing, this show covers all interests, making it like crack on a lazy Sunday, and who doesn't love crack?

Hot Chick Factor- Some people knock Mary Louise Parker for her lazy eye.

Personally, I think it's hot in a Clarrissa Explains it All type of way. Irregardless, there is plenty of eye candy on this show. Andy's love interests always get naked and even Silas brings in some tail. For the ladies, who doesn't want to see a shirtless Kevin Nealon? Who?

Not Kevin Nealon? Oh well, close enough.

UGH Moments- Cliched moments are covered up with good writing. We've seen teenage pregnancy, especially in Gloucester, but hearing that the girl probably sucked the condom off doggystyle with strong kegel muscles, is something that you haven't heard on TV.

Kegel (it's a real term, google it, it's kinda gross/awesome NSFW)

#3 Dexter

I just recently discovered this one. Dexter is the story of serial killer Dexter Morgan as he murders his way through Miami. Dark, twisted and addicting this became one of my favorite shows of this year. Unlike Weeds and Entourage, this show gets better from season to season. This show does a really good job of making you look at something, murder, and looking at in a way you never thought possible.

Best Episode: Crocodile

Bingability- Variable. You can watch an entire season in a day, then wait a full year before moving on to the next. When I first started this show, I watched it so much that I started narrating my life like Dexter. I thought I had a "Dark Passenger" living in my head giving me advice, but then I realized it was BG and other people could hear him too. Phew.

You all see the guy on the left too, right?

Hot Chick Factor- Variable. Dexter has a few female characters that are pretty attractive, his girlfriend Rita is pretty smoking, but nothing amazing. This show is full of pretty people, but due to the dark nature of the show, you don't really want to see any of them naked. For the ladies, Dexter could be attractive, but watching him decapitate endless amounts of people is probably a turn-off, or a turn-on for those darker girls. Note: don't ever watch 6 Feet Under, you'll never get the image of Gay Dexter out of your head.

Doakes?

UGH Moments- Variable. Dexter will pull out James Bond like puns, " He needs to be cut out of the picture" , etc. But it balances out with the plot twists. This show has kept me guessing from season to season. The style changes every season and 95% of the time I didn't see the ending coming. This show's writing has really kept the original hook fresh when it could have gotten stale real quick.

#2 Californication

Showtime's best show. David Duchovny has come a long way since the X-Files. This show follows Duchovny as burn-out writer Hank Moody as he adventures through the playground that is LA. A borderline sexual deviant, Moody is Vinny Chase on crack. He is the ultimate player. This show has 3 available seasons and each is a different view on the same guy. We love him one second then hate him the next. Side characters help to turn Hank's appearance as a glorified Playboy into that of a good friend, father and citizen. Could be the most consistently funny show on TV.

Best Episode: The Apartment

Bingability- High, this show goes down easier than Hank's ladies. Seasons always fly by and always leave the viewer wanting more. This is one of the few shows that I can watch either once a week or for 12 hours straight. Hank is good when you're feeling up and want a laugh or when you're feeling low and want a fellow low life to drink whiskey with.

Hot Chick Factor- Pinnacle. There is no better for eye candy than this show. There is ample nudity from the first episode on. He bangs 4 chicks, very classy like though, in the first episode! And that is something that doesn't change. This show started many hot chicks careers. For the ladies, Hank Moody is quite the charmer.

UGH Moments- Non-existent. For a show about a writer, this show knows its roots. The writing is top notch. Some of Hank's one liners had me laughing for hours. Perfectly timed and quick, Hank's humor is for everyone. Even the forced typical situations are spun in a way never before seen. I can't say enough about the hilariousness of this show.

#1 Flight of the Conchords

The Pinnacle. It was sadly announced recently that after 2 amazing seasons, Flight of the Conchords will not be returning. Therefore I urge you all to go out and watch this show in its entirety. Written by the actors in it, this show blends music and humor in a way never before seen on TV. With a british Office-like subtle humor, this show quietly makes you laugh out loud. Bret and Jemaine are two lovable goofballs in New Zealands fourth most popular guitar-based digi-bongo acapella-rap-funk duo, Flight of the Conchords.

Fun Fact: the guy who helped them write the second season is going to be directing the new Muppet Movie written by Jason Segel.

Best Episode: Mugged

Bingability- High. This show is addictive and perfect for a "fuck it" type of mood. The plot travels from episode to episode but is not really important, except for running jokes which manage to get funnier every time. It's highly re-watchable due to the amazing musical numbers which are not only catchy, but also insanely hilarious. Some of the jokes are so quiet and subtle that it takes a while to catch them all. This show hits its stride in the 2nd season with some of the best musical parodies ever. Weird Al should take lessons.

For the ladies, and Sam Bourneuf

Hot Chick Factor- Low. There are a few love interests here and there, but nothing too racy. This show is more about subtle, quiet natured comedy rather than the shock and awe of the others. Bret's scared approach to women is a refreshing break from the sex filled Hollywood shows that usually fill up prime time, like Cougar Town. For the ladies, Murray.

Oh yeah.

UGH Moments- Rare. Flight of the Conchords manages to use it's New Zealand natives as a viewing glass into modern culture. The two main characters are our unbiased view of everything in New York. These two don't understand cliches so they are usable and hilarious. Adding the slight twang of a New Zealand accent to certain words makes them funny. I can't understand why they'd stop this show in it's prime, but I respect them for going out on top.

2 words. Classy.

It must be Borno's lucky day.