First!

Random Thoughts

-Mixtape to play at babys birth: Born in the USA Bruce Springsteen, Titties and beer if its a boy, She swallowed it if its a girl- teach them young

-At a costume party throwing game at a dude in drag

-Giving someone pimples in their sleep in the shape of something by rubbing oil on certain spots

-Getting famous by using free advertising by getting in the google earth picture

-Not writing on a passed out black guy because you can't see it or using wite-out

-Bullseyes on urinal cakes

-Burning fingertips to lose fingerprints

-Placing a dresser outside and having it shake as people go by thinking there's something in it

-Having nightmares every night of your life

-"Never fall victim to a chicken you might be sticking even if if you think the punani is fingerlicking" - Guru

-80's music as you pull up to the spot- different song every time for same character

-Different hiphop quote to begin each episode with different theme song every episode

-Better Late Than Never delivery

-Rice rocket with fire extinguisher in case engine explodes

-Photo book- Big Man, Little Bitch: pictures of wrestlers and their dogs

-"Dump in her gut, raw from the giddy up, better choose the right pump or pick the kiddies up"- Big Boi

-Ballin on a budget- getting a hybrid Piece model kit for the back of your car to fool the hippie chick

-Staring at blind people, arguing with a blind guy for wearing headphones while walking around

-Former homeless guy being domesticated/guy becoming homeless for the first time learning tricks of the trade

-Making fun of homeless people in a movie is okay because are they ever going to find out unless someone tells them and they scrounge together the cash, watch it and rise up against

-No problem cussing out the deaf, staring at the blind, putting hot sauce on the tasteless guys burger, giving a girl with no nose a dirty sanchez, feeling up a big boobed chick without the sense of touch

-Blinding silence

-Putting a cigarette through the gromit hole in your ear to hang onto it, or putting an earring through the gromit

-Meter maid's little cart getting towed

-Van driving by with everyone inside but one guy with their shirts over their noses

-Why is there always one guy getting pulled over on a traffic jam? How the hell is he speeding?

-Crime scene tape around a playground

-"Its a whole lot easier fucking girls you don't like when you're drunk. I know that may sound harsh, but in my defense, a lot of them were drunk too. If anyone was being taken advantage of it was me, and that had to stop." - you kill me

-I saw a license plate that said dnglbry

-Sitting down to pee to make less noise in the middle of the night

-"I'm a star twinkle twinkle mofo" bray

-Pissing on a security system to short out intercom/keypad

-Supersize me 2: doing the eating only mcdonalds when the monopoly game is going on

-Halloween costume- Siamese twins: guy with skeleton attached to hip

-Keeping funeral tags on your car to get sympathy treatment while driving

-Rock band name: Flappy Badge

-High school yearbook quote: facial reconstruction surgery coming soon or a girl leaves her number and she'll be slutting it up in 10 years if anyones interested

-Chazz dog is a white chow yun fat

-Prank calls back on telemarketers

-Cocky conscience

-Gluing a picture of a chick's face to your hand

-"You the kind of girl make me wanna grip that handle and let shots off in the air busting at random." -Akon

-Having a desk/office in a parking garage

-My fan club president: my dog

-Turning 21 a second time to redo a year

-Creepy neighbors: calling you to welcome you to the neighborhood

-Nerd's highest quality porn: embrace of the vampire/poison ivy 2 alyssa milano deuce pack. It has the old-school who's the boss? Feel to it, and catches her just before her charmed no-nudity or having sex with rash-procuring plants and night-walking canine-endowed white people clause.

-No country for old man (a simple story with life-changing dialogue and a true ending) a companion piece to raising Arizona (not necessarily in meaning but moreso in terms of character, structure, setting, and situation)

-on a piece of toast there is a face perhaps of a biblical figure

-ugk has many interesting musical ideas and elements that grow underwhelmed by reused sounds that should have last been heard 5 years ago. But with such a great kick and bass sound (mostly because of completely unique southern buy a new woofer for the car every album because we're gonna bass the shit out of them) and if there was ever a song I'd want to hear chopped and screwed it would absolutely be international players anthem. The beginning of the track, i though my file was corrupted and skipping. After fonally making the effort to pick up the iPod and check to see how quickly the song was playing, it started. It seems that, the same way a certain three chord harmony will drive a punk rock FAM to Spatz out into doing the epileptic dance. Ugk seems to affect the ears of Texas differently maybe purp really does the trick

-Freeway's album has several amazing tracks, however rather than being average tracks where every sound is equally mediocre, freeway has incredible beats that are done a misservice due to production. Too much hihat, crashing breakbeats that make instrumentals but impossible to hear vocals, the problem being that freeway sounds great over bombastic soul, but maybe with the levels remixed. It makes some songs difficult to listen to. However the samples are flipped brilliantly combining unique vocals with such a varied textured organic sound. Dragon-slaying snare in walk with me.

-Do blind people step in their guide dog's shit a lot?

-Student gets Sat scores revoked because he tested positive for steroids

-Is it just me or are there no bald homeless people? I guess its got something going for it, stress-free lifestyle and all

-"hit a blind guy today while I was drivng. Came out of nowhere. Didn't even see him." "thats funny that you didn't see him."

-"you can mess up the sheets girl it is what it is- squirter!" -Yung Berg

-Dirty old man first scene girl at movie old man sits down next to her

-Slashing someones tires after they get a boot

-Its not rape if you apologize

-Standing in front of a bus stop movie poster and blending in with the picture

-As I was making a left turn a kid was running across the street and smacked right into the side of my van

-Special Ed: The notion of being special: destined for greatness, chosen by fate or something else- a out of control van is about to crash into a group of children and the teacher throws one of them to safety. Later on that boy grows up and is walking along when a huge explosion goes off over his head in a building above him and he runs in to help.He later on a whim buys a series of bus tickets off ebay and travels the country

-Driving mittens/nose muffs- in annisquam there is only one day of winter

-Ghost movie starring real ghosts- or kill an actor

-Music contests with other musicians, film contests with other directors

-Prepaid pizza plan

-Horn that honks behind you

-Lesser known allied powers in WWII: the north pole

-Fat Jesus

-Vag stamp, hip stamp

-A car so old that it uses a tiny old timey skeleton key

-Straws with a grooved edge to fit the mouth better

-Most ridiculously good jobs: Life caddy, Alcohol tolerance tester,

-Knuckle fucking scum cunt

-Revving the defrost at a stop sign in the winter

-Inside woman- caveman porn

-Two double sided mirrors facing each other in order to see infinity

-Trying to describe a fat chick without mentioning her size

-Delivery guy waiting forever at the door, starts to take a piss and then has to stop when they finally come to the door

-Blumpkin roll brand toilet paper

-Billy762 and counting