I propose that this year, we all try something new.
After a little bit of searching I found a few items that will really spice up your Christmas Dinner or Chanukah Feast (note that some items may not be Kosher).
1. Goat Penis
A bit chewy, but really quite tasty. Fry these bad boys with a little bit of EVOO and garlic and you'll be slurping down some Goat Cock with Grandma like Lady and the Tramp. $5.13 is actually a bit pricey for GP, so shop around for the best deal.
A bit chewy, but really quite tasty. Fry these bad boys with a little bit of EVOO and garlic and you'll be slurping down some Goat Cock with Grandma like Lady and the Tramp. $5.13 is actually a bit pricey for GP, so shop around for the best deal.
2. Manhattan Style Fish Assholes
Believe it or not, these are actually an acquired taste. Eaten directly from the can is strictly reserved for the professional. Everyone else should boil the fish anus for 6-8 minutes to burn off any residual fish fecal particles. If you plan on serving more than 4 people, go for the bigger can, as 14oz. simply won't be enough. If you are squeemish and don't want to try them, just think of them as Spaghetti-O's meets Nemo rectum - you'll get over it in no time. (CAUTION: This product may cause pink eye) (ed. note: also stink eye)
Believe it or not, these are actually an acquired taste. Eaten directly from the can is strictly reserved for the professional. Everyone else should boil the fish anus for 6-8 minutes to burn off any residual fish fecal particles. If you plan on serving more than 4 people, go for the bigger can, as 14oz. simply won't be enough. If you are squeemish and don't want to try them, just think of them as Spaghetti-O's meets Nemo rectum - you'll get over it in no time. (CAUTION: This product may cause pink eye) (ed. note: also stink eye)
3. Pig Fetus Donuts
These HARD to find donuts will make you squeel!!! No preparation needed here, just open the box and enjoy. It's like the caviar of pork a top a delicious Krispy-Kreme, but be sure to save room for the other desserts.
These HARD to find donuts will make you squeel!!! No preparation needed here, just open the box and enjoy. It's like the caviar of pork a top a delicious Krispy-Kreme, but be sure to save room for the other desserts.
4. Vagina Cake
Now we're talking!!! You can finally have your cake and eat it too. Available in vanilla, chocolate and swirl, this is the new definition of hair pie. The best plan is to buy this at your local master-baker because you wouldn't want any imperfections on this tasty treat. For authenticity, save a couple of fish assholes and place around the plate, it should stink it up just right. If you are eating alone, I'm sure you can think of something else to do with the cake.
There are tons of other interesting ways to stray from the ordinary feast this year. It's time to think outside the box.
There are tons of other interesting ways to stray from the ordinary feast this year. It's time to think outside the box.
I hope you enjoy :)
JJ
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