Tiger!

http://deadspin.com/5496451/joslyn-james-did-not-disappoint-with-her-tiger-sext-messages

There are some real classics in here, like this little sequence:

Tiger:Sent: 04"02 PM 08/29/2009:
I want to treat you rough. Throw you around, spank and slap you

Tiger:Sent: 04:06 PM 08/29/2009:
Slap your face. Treat you like a dirty little whore. Put my cock in your ass and then shove it down your throat

Tiger:Sent: 04:07 PM 08/29/2009:
You are my fucking whore

Tiger:Sent: 04:08 PM 08/29/2009:
Hold you down while i choke you and Fuck that ass that i own

Tiger:Sent: 04:10 PM 08/29/2009:
Then im going to tell you to shut the Fuck up while i slap your face and pull your hair for making noise

I gotta say- Tiger Woods talking dirty reminds me a lot of that scene in The 40 Year-Old Virgin where Andy is watching the porno, and eventually just puts on Everyone Loves Raymond.

But what really takes the cake are messages like this one:

Tiger:Sent: 04:53 PM 08/29/2009:
I know you have tried every positing imaginable but what turns you on besides a dp

You can tell that Tiger was really in over his head with this broad. Even if you're the richest man in sports, you still can't please a porn star.

I'm also imagining the day when the relationship was getting stale and he had to give in and hook up that Double penetration. Do you call your caddy?

By the way, this might be the worst photoshopping I've ever done.