Wednesday, March 10, 2010

If Costner banged her, I don't want nada



So I was watching Bull Durham the other day- not the best movie, not even a really good baseball movie. But more importantly, as I was sitting there, I was confused. Was it that hard to get some in the 80's that Susan Sarandon was just the cream of the crop if she started throwing herself at you?


Or did the players want her magic baseball voodoo so bad that they would have entertained a Cleveland Steamer from Rosie O'Donnell just to go to The Show?


Then I was thinking about other Kevin Costner movies- something you shouldn't do regularly- and remembered another shitty sports movie called Tin Cup with Rene Russo. Woof!


Anyways, I realized that, not only does Kevin Costner really bother me, but these actresses that Hollywood gives us are all pretty nasty, especially in these sexpot roles they keep ending up in. Here are a few more that really ...


DREW BARRYMORE

GLENN CLOSE

SARAH JESSICA PARKER

THE CAST OF AMERICAN PIE

BOTH OF THESE GIRLS

Now, I realize that the pretty girls are also terrible actresses, but man, it is tough to watch to some of these chicks for a whole movie.

Of course we can't have Angelina Jolie or Charlize Theron is every movie, but at least give me Rachel McAdams or ...

Exactly- we ain't got shit!

And don't give me this whole "I'm probably uglier than all these girls combined." My picture has been on this site plenty of times and we all know that that's not true. Even more, these women are Hollywood superstars, fifty feet tall seen by millions of people. They're meant to be objectified and scrutinized.

Would I take Megan Fox and Jessica Alba and Jessica Biel, three of the worst actresses of all time, over these other doggy dogg thespians?








I'm just saying that the middle ground is a lot more barren than it should be.

Any chicks I need to add to the list?
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2 comments:

Bobby Crooked said...

No fair knocking ms sarandon, she's like 100 at this point. She was hot in ghostbusters.

DutchMasters said...

You're thinking of Sigourney Weaver, who should also be on this list.

Or maybe you're thinking of the guy from Strange Brew and Honey, I Shrunk the Kids.