DownloadSo in a move out of the "Gonna need a mulligan" playbook, Amazon.com accidentally sent 500 copies of Lil Wayne's new album Rebirth to the eager fans who had preordered for some reason. I guess this is one of those things you have no doubt in your mind that you want.
After listening to it, I hope they don't regret this decision. And considering the fact that at least one of these lucky people put the CD on the internet for raucous bootlegging, they might have been a little disappointed.
It's kind of like the nice guy who let us all see Wolverine a month before it even came out.
So this album is the one that has been delayed for over a year, which is strange considering Lil Wayne was the last artist to sell 3 million copies of an album. Why wouldn't they rush this out to capitalize on his popularity?
Well, for starters, it's an autotune album- but unlike Kanye's 808's and Heartbreak, it's also a rock album. And they let Lil Wayne play some of the instruments.
1. American Star: 3/5
I'm not going to lie; this isn't the worst song ever written. But why is this girl singing all of a sudden? He refers to his pants as trousers, which is very sophisticated of him. Something you'll notice on this album is that Weezy has a strange habit of repeating certain words, or just shouting out whatever he feels like. Bridge!
Choice lyric: "My ancestors were slaves in the USA, but not today." Weezy's going black to the future on this one.
2. Prom Queen: 2/5
Weezy's going back to high school, because the girls there have fancy underwear. I wonder what they're wearing in the hood. However, the girls all turn him down. Also, it sure seems like he is saying that he couldn't play the part of the prom queen. Oww!
Choice lyric: "I loved her fancy underwear/I sat behind her every year." I'm pretty sure we've all been there.
3. Ground Zero: 1/5
This song is about how high Lil Wayne is, as in he can't see the ground anymore. And then he tries to commit joint suicide with a girl by either jumping off a building and/or jumping out a window. This song is absolute nonsense by the way. His girlfriend is a crystal ball, he lives in a mirror on the wall. And now- free association! Love, hate, Flame, fashion- planes, crashing. Oh, that's why it's called Ground zero. Cool. Emotion, compulsion. Me, swings, switches. Best rapper alive!
Choice lyric: "I'mma fuck you like a bull, I swear." Well, I hope you make good on that promise.
4. Da Da Da: 1/5
Holy shit, what is this? And when did we start referring to girls' private parts as "monkeys?" Luckily, there's so much distortion on his vocals that you can't hear a word he's saying. Just dig the groove. Bass!
Choice lyric: The title is misleading. The song should be called "Da daaa do do da dad daaa do da"- really captures the essence of the track. Bass!
5. Paradice: 2/5
This is what we call a double meaning song. I think the second verse is about him. This ain't paradice. This is the love ballad on the album. Listening to it, I'm imagining Lil Wayne the wedding singer. Baaaaiiii.... ehhhh.....!
Choice lyric: "Sun don't shine forever... love don't love forever... everything that glitters ain't gold... everything that's new gets old." Preach on!
6. Get a Life: -1/5
It's kind of like a ska song. You remember ska, don't you? It's that music from 10 years ago that sucked. Also, if you're looking for a hint as to what a life is- get money, get bitches, get a life. You!
Choice lyric: "Cool man, what the fuck you looking at me for? You wanna do something? Do something!" I kinda feel like Weezy was looking at a mirror accidentally while singing this part of the song.
7. On Fire: 3/5
I almost wish that they had just gone for a straightforward cover of the track, instead of the southern re-interpretation we're left with.
But it's still pretty funny. She's creamin'!
Choice lyric: "Let a nigga rub his stick against your matchbox." They don't call him the Fireman for nothing.
8. Drop the World: 4/5
Eminem is on this track, and it's the only one that Lil Wayne should have kept on the album. It's an Emo anthem, that sort of "Man, I'm misunderstood. If only I had an outlet so that I could explain to everyone who I really am-oh wait, I'm a famous rapper" type things. "Heaven-sent and Hell-proof?" Ya'll listening, but you ain't hearing shit. You can probably just skip ahead to the Eminem part actually. I'm gone, muthafucka!
Choice lyric: Eminem-"I came up from behind and pretty much snuck up and butt-fucked this game up." White man always going and messing up the black man's hustle.
9. Runnin: 2/5
Just a bland rock song, with some chick singing "Runnin" over and over. While running, I lost all my money, half my mind, a quarter of my direction, a third of my coherence, an eighth of pot (which I'd really like back, please)... where's the finish line? But if there's no finish line, who's the real winner? And why is it that I feel like I'm running around, but I'm really running in place? Syrup!
Choice lyric: "If I fall, I fall up, and let the clouds hug me." Lil' Wayne is no longer with us.
10. One Way Trip: 1/5
This is a song about how Travis Barker is his drummer. Oh oh oh, yeah!
Choice lyric: "Kick her ass out and have breakfast like a muthafucka." I cook for mines.
11. Knockout: 1/5
This is a faster blander rock song. And another girl shows up here to mumble some sweet nothings to Weezy. Oh no, she's rapping now too. Just knock me out. Everything's going black!
Choice lyric: "Hey Barbie, can I call you Barbara? I can be your Black Ken. Once you go black, you never go back. And once you go Wayne, everyone else is wack. "
12. The Price is Wrong: 0/5
This song kind of sums up the whole album- Weezy picks these retarded sayings, and then kind of mixes them up, and then makes it worse by trying to combine it with whatever came to his mind. "The price is wrong, but she gotta pay." You gotta love rappers- half the songs are about how they'd never love a bitch, and then songs like this come in about bitches who stole their hearts. Which came first, I wonder? Okay, okay, okay, fuck her anyway!
Choice lyric: "High school, my school, yeah yeah yeah. Now she going out with a nigga named Michael, okay, rifle. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah."
Overall: 1/5
To give this album any more that 1 star...
There are bunch of bonus tracks too, but, I mean, come on.
Weezy might as well start writing songs for James Bond movies if these are the most clever turns of phrase he can come up with.
Lil Wayne says he doesn't write down his raps anymore because the second he writes the words down, they become false.
So on this album, he no longer raps anymore. We're entering dangerous artistic waters here.
I highly recommend, instead of listening to this album, to go watch both the VH1 Behind the Music on Weezy, and also the documentary The Carter.
Finally, on a serious note, he is going to jail. Not necessarily for making this album, but he is going to jail the same day the album is officially released. Coincidence? Free Rebirth!
2 comments:
F.Y.I this is the first album review you've done where you didn't have to change the album art. It is hilarious without any photoshopping. I have to say I was not a lil Weezy fan..until I watched the documentary. Now, I can't get enough. On fire is amazing, I'm willing to bet people love it as much as Mr. Hudson singing 'Young Forever'. Crowds go nuts for classic 80's tunes and Weezy sounds so good over synthesizers.
That's like saying you like Michael Bolton. It's just not right.
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