I was never a big Eminem fan growing up. A few too many skits about giving out blowjobs kind of turned me off, but then you hear a song like Bitch Please II or any of the tracks featuring him on Chronic 2001 and you want more. And then you hear those blowjob skits. It's a vicious cycle.
There are two really nice things about this album just by looking at the track list, and 2 really not so nice things. For starters, you've only heard one of these songs before - "Not Afraid" - so even though it's a pretty lame song, at least you have a lot of new material to get excited about. And there are no skits, so I won't have skip any tracks for sure.
But what are Pink and Rihanna doing here? And where's Dr. Dre?
1. Cold Wind Blows- 4/5
Choice lyric: "Yeah I laugh when I call you a slut, bitch. Ba-dum."
This is almost as good as when rappers go back and repeat a reference they made and explain why it's so impressive.
This is how you start an album. Just Blaze is doing his best Dr. Dre impression, kind of like a harder version of "Deja Vu" from the last album. Eminem is fired up. It's a little noisy, but it's hard not to blast this track. This is White Boy Gangster.
2. Talkin' 2 Myself with Kobe- 3/5
Choice lyric: "The new me is back to the old me."
Not quite sure if this is a good thing. As we all know, a sober person has never made a good song in their life.
This track is just a little too full- two people singing, two or three synths and guitars flickering, big echoing drums. It's a nice enough groove through. And he talks about other people with respect, which is rare. Especially considering it's Kanye and Lil' Wayne.
3. On Fire- 3/5
Choice lyric: "If you mistook this for a song, look. This is not a song."
Treat it as such.
This is a great track at the start, but then it gets too monotonous for my tastes. Another pretty good Dr. Dre impression here though, but once again, just one element too many. Take out that high hat and I think you're set.
4. Won't Back Down with Pink!- 3/5
Choice lyric: "I'm a shitstain on the underwear of life."
Errr. As dope as Eminem thought Pink would sound on this song, I think he probably could have done without her and did this song by himself. However, these are the kind of songs that feel a little messy on the album, but would probably be great to see live. And wanting to see Eminem perform live is not something I've ever even considered.
5. W.T.P.- 2/5
Choice lyric: "Baby, if your belly button's not an innie, I'm outtie."
Well, I'm not going to spoil what W.T.P. stands for, but I don't think this track is going to be a classic like "O.P.P." or "ABC" or even "1, 2, 3, 4." This is a song that you hear on every Eminem album, and skip on every Eminem album.
6. Going Through Changes- 5/5
Choice lyric: "Drug dealers hang around me like yes men, and they gonna do whatever I says when I says it. It's in their best interest to protect their investment. And I just lost my best friend, so fuck it, I guess then."
Man, this song could not have come any sooner. After the constant noise from the first 5 tracks, we get some nice chords, a simple drum beat, and a killer Ozzy vocal sample. This is one of those songs that no one else could do right. Because, let's be honest, this song is about as obvious as a Black Eyed Peas joint. You're going through changes? Really? But Eminem can pull it off, basically updating you on all the stuff you kind of wanted to hear on the last album.
7. Not Afraid- 2/5
Choice lyric: "I shouldn't have to rhyme these words in a rhythm to let you know it's a wrap."
This is a Drake song. No melody, lots of weird singing. And what's with the NBA Jam sound at the start of the verses?
8. Seduction- 2/5
Choice lyric: "They call me fire marshal; I shut this shit down."
Well, I guess it makes sense for this track to follow "Not Afraid;" it's basically that beat slowed down. I guess what happens is, you meet a guy like Boi-1da [(really stupid name by the way) who produced the track] when you're making the Drake song "Forever," and you want him to hook you up with some beats, but he's given all his best stuff away, so you get tracks like this. Eminem works well with Dr. Dre because Dre provides energy and intensity to the tracks, which complements Eminem well. These last two tracks have neither of those elements.
9. No Love with Lil' Wayne- 3/5
Choice lyric:
Lil Wayne: "It's Weezy motherfucker, blood gang, and I'm in bleed mode."
A perfect example of a Lil Wayne rhyme. It sounds nice at first, then you realize that he really should start writing things down again because it doesn't make any goddamn sense.
Wait!? Night at the Roxbury? Just wait until you hear the little bit of the vocal at the beginning. This is basically the same thing that Just Blaze did for that T.I. song "Live Your Life," but that sample is a lot worse (Mi ya hee, Mi ya ha) than this one. Oh, and this is a weed smoking song, because there's a lighter sound in the beginning. Why are rappers still doing that? Don't they know I've been high ever since I had the idea I should even download this shit?
10. Space Bound- 2/5
Choice lyric: "Love is evil; spell it backwards, I'll show ya."
TI? Watch your back, homie.
Huh? I guess it's cool that Eminem is going outside of Dr. Dre to cook up these tracks, but I feel like he might need to make another album or two before he gets it right. This is some dorm room music here.
11. Cinderella Man- 1/5
Choice lyric: "I'll be damned if another rapper gets in my ass."
What? This is one of those songs where each added element is just a little bit worse than the one before it. All I know is that the Cinderella Man is coming to get up in your ass.
12. 25 to Life- 2/5
Choice lyric: "You keep treating me like a fucking staircase. It's time to fucking step."
This whole song is a metaphor of this caliber.
I'm pretty sure Eminem's got his girlfriend's iPod on shuffle here.
13. So Bad- 2/5
Choice lyric: "I told you I ain't fooling; this ain't the first day of April."
Finally, back to rap music on this rap album. But, this is the Dr. Dre track that was saved for this album? Songs like this are what make you hope that the good version is being saved for Detox, or else they really shouldn't even make Detox.
14. Almost Famous- 2/5
Choice lyric: "I stuck my dick in this game like a rapist. They call me Slim Roethlisberger."
There are some really strange choruses on this album. Also, for as average as this song is, there sure is a damn long build up just to get this started. And, in true Eminem fashion, it goes on and on. What's worse, is that this is basically the pinacle of the delivery on the promise of Eminem and Just Blaze working together. Just Blaze is not making "PSA" anymore.
15. Love the Way You Lie with Rihanna- 2/5
Choice lyric: "Look me in the eyeball."
Goddammit. Sometimes, when you read the title of a song, you think, "Well, maybe, it's not going to be what I'm expecting." And then it starts. And you keep telling yourself that something better's coming. And the song does one of those record stopping sounds, and you take a breath, and get hopeful, and then the song starts again and you realize that you already heard this song on B.o.B.'s album, when it was called "Airplanes," and you realize that it's produced by the same guy (Alex da Kid, another terrible name) and you can't believe that Eminem's sunk lower than a track like "Just Lose It," where at least he was telling a really bad joke. Here, I'm afraid he's serious.
16. You're Never Over- 1/5
Choice lyric: (slightly paraphrased) "I'm going to rhyme myself to death in order to celebrate your life."
Nate Dogg is not going to like this album.
17. Here We Go- 1/5
Choice lyric: "If he hollers, let him go-o."
Every time I see a bonus track, I think of that bit from Family Guy where Stewie and Brian are in the army and their drill sergeant makes them listen to the entire Chris Gaines/Garth Brooks album, including the bonus track. "Ooooh, I hope it's a ballad...." Well, that's what this track is. It was definitely made for someone, but I don't think it was me. If you're feeling kinda shitty after listening to this album, check out Black Sabbath's "Changes" to cleanse the palette nicely.
Overall- 2/5
I hope that more artists decide to go a similar route, with no skits, and only one single. By the time I listened to that Drake album, I'd already heard half of the songs. However, that's probably all that aspiring musicians should take away from this album.
Once again, we have an artist who should've put out a single album with half the songs of his last album and this one. There was a very strongly felt absence of Dr. Dre here. And something that I don't think has ever affected Eminem before is a strongly felt influence of modern rappers, like B.o.B. and Drake. This is really unfortunate.
Also, Eminem spends a lot of time on this album apologizing for the last two albums, which is not something you hear any musician do. And, to be honest, I feel like of the three, this is the one he should apologize the most for.
I've tried listening to this album for a few nights now before I went to sleep. I kept passing out before track 1 was over, and I'd wake up thinking I was missing out on some gems.
Sometimes, it's good to be the nerd at the slumber party.
2 comments:
sometimes it pays to be the nerd at the slumber party,
until you get your hand dipped in warm water.
albums not bad, natedogg only skipped one song, almost famous had too long an outro for his liking. personally, i think eminem hasnt been good since the marshal mathers lp.
He hasn't been consistently good, that's for sure.
And God, that "Almost Famous" song goes on forever.
In fact, most of Eminem's songs run 5 minutes- way too long.
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