Why you should take advantage of your last few months at Rollins.

Below is a list of reasons why you should cherish your time in college.

Life will never be 65% hot female again.

Your days consist of classes, and on a hard day that is maybe 2 hours of class.

When you go to lunch, you will never be able to stroll down to the pool and eat your lunch while women sunbathe.

Women self prescribe themselves ruphees and wine spritzers.

I am sure the rest of the boys can fill in the gap.

TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOUR TIME!!!

Gimme that fish...

Is there any shock that after the tremendous advertising that McDonald's has done with its Fillet o Fish that this happened?

I hardly blame the guy, the Fillet O Fish is delicious and just writing about it makes me want one.

The other big shock is this occurred in Jersey....

I Went To The Wrong Schools

Folks, It's time I admit it, I went to all the wrong schools. No seriously, I really did. Sure 7 colleges might seem like enough but this is not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about grade school. To the left are the most notorious teacher sex scandels. Notice a theme? Me Too! So whatever douche posted a Lady Gaga video, we at Blumpkin Reading Material apologize for the oversight. We are a serious political news organization relaying heavy handed news stories across public restrooms everywhere. With this I digress to our nations economy; I think that we might want to look into hiring more good looking teachers for the no child left behind program. From the looks of it I was left behind and I'm sure you missed out too. Dr. Obama, if you can hear me, please "stimulate" the economy and the well being of future generations by hiring up some new Teachers like the ones we use to have.......

What Are We Teaching These Kids?

A couple weeks ago, one of our correspondents, DutchMasters, wrote about Reverse Sexyism and how Rihanna and others have been pushing the limits of what can be played on the radio. Well, I wasn't all that sold on his arguments, mostly because I was distracted by Rhianna asking me if I was big enough, but I recently saw a music video that changed my mind.

WHAT THE FUCK?

I had heard this song on the radio, and thought it was stupid. Of course that's when I thought it was about a phone ringing in a club. How ignorant of me. Of course I should have known that the phone ringing was metaphorical for Lady Gaga getting out of prison then staging a mass murder at a diner with Beyonce in tow. Speaking of her, isn't it odd that Beyonce is in this? She must be hitting that age (30) where she's nervous about losing that younger audience, kind of like MC Hammer's new song, "Whatever you kids are into, count me in too".

I don't think Beyonce quite understands what's going on, she just assumes Lady Gaga knows what she's doing. Was it just me or was anyone else waiting for Kanye to show up in this one, with his lonely heart bear. If he liked "Single Ladies" then he's going to love this...

"Best-er music video of all time!"

This may be slightly random, irregardless, I'm a little pissed off by this

Being someone who just spent a few months in a car, I have been listening to a TON of the radio and even more time thinking about what I'm hearing. There is one song that has been pissing me off. It's called, "According to you" by Orianthi (stupid name). Don't listen to the whole thing, it sucks, and you can get the idea after like 20 seconds.

Basically, this girl goes on and on in this song about how, according to her boyfriend, she's boring, moody, stupid, and she can't do anything right. Buttt, of course, there is another boy who, big suprise, thinks she's just swell. According to the other boy, who isn't banging her yet, she's the funniest, most beautiful, interesting girl EVER. Does this sound like bullshit to anyone else? Some asshole who's sweet talking this girl behind her boyfriend's back? Come on Orianthi, at least your boyfriend was still there, even though you tell terrible jokes and are stupid. This new guy is just sweet talking you to get in those plus size jeans. Ladies, watch out for a guy who tells you everything you want to hear, because most of the time, we're full of shit. Orianthi will learn this the hard way when the new guy tells her he has syphilis....according to her!

warning to Rollins students....

Beware of this harmless looking boy answering to the name Butters!