Newest Random Ever

If you describe a bj by saying "it sucked" does that mean it was good or bad?

Running of the pigs, cop party.

Tshirt with 'chillaxin' on the front

Sam daydreaming about throwing lobster off bridge, gets beat to it and framed.

Racist pianos. Why are there only 5 black keys?

"hey man, need a light?"
"no, thanks... I've got my own."

Timeshare in Disneyland. Pretty sweet piece of property.

Rich kids eating brie like it's hot. They love that shit.

Smoking resin.

Sleep punching someone in the back of the head.

Kid who likes chamillionaire remix of wu tang, but not wu tang.

Rob alright! Cop not alright.

Stoner spy, forgets plans.

When Spanish people say peninsula it sounds like penisula.

Good guys finish last, meaning, she came first.

Girl wearing jerk shirt.

Drunk again... Another good day at work! The Rob Bent Story

Baby sitters= drug dealers

Rolling by a cop, turning down f the police, he's playing the same thing.

Jesus seeing his shadow.

Pot is to anti-depressants; as orgasms are to extasy

Cereal is like people dog food.

Girl calling me a fag for ordering a mount gay. Is she right?

Live today, cause tomorrow man you never know.

Standing on top of a train with a skateboard. Putting it down and standing on it as train slows to gain momentum.

Pimps putting pricetags on their hoes.

Ghostbusters handles the appocalypse very believably.

Vibrator app for iphone.

Invisible condom. Best or worst invention idea ever?

Bathroom farts between guys.

A tranny kissed my cheek tonight. It was a rough night.
"cock in the henhouse!"

"well he can't be a starving artist, we fed him last night. At most, he's a hungry artist."

Good prank. Flying a remote control airplane into someones room while they're sleeping.

Tanning a 6 pack onto your stomach with well placed lotion.

Firecrotch whose pussy glows like e.t's chest when she's horny.

Girls dig lazy guys.

Winning large amounts of cash through fishing tournaments.

Girl who is too drunk for pants.

Borno's blackout abilities; reciting every word of the little mermaid,

Petnames girls hate; whiskey mouth, chapped lips, tiny vaginy.

True test of ones lonliness; google search results for "breeds of dog that love peanut butter".

Houston, we have a drinking problem.

I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.

I hate you, but I'm not in hate with you.

Why does twittering sound strangely sexual?