-When all else fails, soup can be made from anything with everything.
-True Happiness can be found when a meal costs less than 3$ a person
-Miller High Life is an investment in your future. If you recycle your fallen soldiers, every 8th case is free.
-Tortilla chips can turn a side dish into a meal.
Lessons 5-8: How to live the luxurious life
-No one turns down a drink in a frosty mug. It's irresistible . Booze is also best kept in the freezer.
-Jeans are the perfect pants. Not only do you never need to wash them, but in today's casual climate, these bad boys can be worn to everything short of a wedding or funeral. *side note, leather clothes do not need to be washed. Ever. Just throwing that out there.
-Showers are when necessary, not routine.
-Pot, while perpetually entertaining, is best avoided or when that's not possible enjoyed after sun-down.
Lessons 9-12: Setting an appealing atmosphere
-Background music is under-appreciated during the following activities; sports, news, and America's Funnies Home Videos.
-Nothing says classy like a homemade coaster. Cardboard is also an acceptable substitute.
-Funk and Jazz will never go out of style if you play them right.
-All girls like to watch a good romantic comedy. And by all girls, I of course mean Sam Bourneuf.
Lessons 12-16: Final Mantras
-When in doubt, you can always say, "Fuck it"
-If it requires a lot of unnecessary effort, you can always say, "Fuck it"
-When the ultimate reward of any deed just really isn't that appealing, you can always say, "Fuck it"
-When you have nothing else to lose, and everyone else freaks out, it's very comforting to know that, even though they're freaking out, you can always say, "Fuck it"
So, thank you B. G. O'Radley, you changed my life! And to all those perspective clients out there, I ask you, "Are you brave enough to accept BGO into your heart, and more importantly your home?"
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