Random Thoughts from the MTV Video Music Hoe-wards 2K10

-First off, does anyone else think it's funny that MTV has become like KFC in that they only use their initials? Kinda like how everyone said they can't call it Kentucky Fried Chicken because it's not technically chicken, you can't call MTV Music Television because they don't technically play music.

-Usher was only invited because he brought Beiber.

-Speaking of Beiber, I am going to try him on a new scale that I use to judge boy pop stars. I believe that a male pop star can only write love songs until he actually gets laid consistently. All of the major ones of the past few decades have faltered around their early 20's and stopped making music. Example; when was the last time we heard Justin Timberlake sing?

The only one to make it was MJ, who made pop hits well into his 50's...because he had no interest in getting pussy. I'm sure there is a connection somehow.

-Chelsea Handler is the anti-boner. She's like bitchy single older lady at the family parties that all of your relatives like and you can't figure out why. She's not particularly funny or attractive, but she always brings vodka so everyone thinks she's cooler than she is.

-Katy Perry, Keisha, and Lady Gaga are terrible at public speaking. They are borderline special people. Considering how fake their music is and how moderately attractive they are, I do not understand how they got so popular.

-Tik Tok and California Girls are the same song with slightly different lyrics. Seriously. Youtube them, they have the same beat. I can't believe they are both nominated for 14* awards..each.

*True Fact

-I do like Borno's new favorite band, Florence and the Machine. It is nice to see something honest, original, and not auto-tuned. Kind of unfortunate that MTV doesn't actually play any of these videos anymore. Kind of unfortunate for kids these days, not knowing the joy of watching a 30 minute episode of MTV Jams or Video Mash-up just for one song you really wanted to hear. I remember suffering through some shitty Pearl Jam videos while praying the next one was Gangsta's Paradise.

-I love how both Taylor Swift and Kanye both released new songs at the VMA's. And that both were about Kanye.

-Taylor Swift's original song should have been called, "Kanye I'm not old enough to have heard your music"

-Kanye's original song should've been, "You're no Rhianna, and I'm no Chris Brown"

-Drake should not be famous. His monotone is painful and his rhymes are trendy and lame. Why is hip hop so commercial? I don't want to throw it in the bag, or make it em say ahhh, fly airplanes or even evacuate the dance floor. I want to drive slow, while I got five on it like a g-thang. Baby!

-I hope that song isn't on Kanye's new album.

..and who was this guy?

I remember when I used to look forward to the VMA's. Either i'm losing touch with the youth....or MTV is. Either way, it's depressing.

Random v

-driving through the worst part of town to get drugs; only problem is
what's the worst part of Annisquam

-big epic trying to get a reunion with a girl at a party/bar only to
have it be a booty call

-fat baby with a beer gut

- bacon cheeseburger

-boner locking you into a toilet: have to have different magazines to
cool you down

-deadliest snatch

-five o'clock shadow on my cock

-she's saving herself for us

-hands of balls of steel

-pullstart car

-blood weed

-dogs that act exactly like lazy people

-making a bet on how a person dies then calling it out at the funeral

-Brett Favre goes by way f Roger Clemens and plays only home games,
but stays late at practice, who's grandpa on the football field

-where do you hide a liberator?

- kicking a cat across the room and the other guy grabbing it

-dog dragging a pillow so he can be comfortable when he lies down

-cash for clunkers but with sisters

-mocking a kid crying and wailing by doing the same thing

-fat girls have to dress slutty to show off their two assets

-lobstafari

-not enough dudes hold hands.

-you can google me : fighting words

-safety is my middle name

-that's what they used to call me in high school

-he's like the Black Lebrun James

-he loooooves cheezits

-extreme movie, sex pot, sunshine cleaning, sugar, half Nelson, brick,
bothers bloom, stripper academy, special, miss march, my best friends
girl, kicking the dog, cougar club, going down under, balls out,
bottle shock, adventureland,

-nights in white satin, poets of rhythm- more mess on my thing, good
vibrations, America by yes, closer, revelry by kings of Leon

-professional wii players- wiiners

-the terminator being sent back in time to make John connor a pothead
so he doesn't start a revolution and gets lazy instead

-guy who travels to foreign countries in the summer so he doesn't have
to watch just baseball

-sportscenter cones up with little mini stories for ball games

-dr dre wants to create a new file format for music

-the wnba desk at espn must be the worst place to work : hell inside
heaven jobs

-outsourcing for Jews

-herpatits pv

-jack daniels : the matchmaker.

-rectifying my mistake- wrecktifying

-deadliest couch

-saw for fat people: food network show where food is overcooked or
thrown away

-skoal sports drink

-.zz./x. Q

-hung: grumpiest old man ever

-rap music s the only music where you can talk about metaphors and
then explain them abs you can make whole songs about how good you are
at eveything. Also. You can kill other rappers if you don't like them
or want to make more money.

-football: the only sport where the better you do the less you have to
play. Don't want to play defense any more; get an interception and the
possessions over.

-a guy on MTV got caught smoking weed because he ate it all and had
some left on his teeth and lips

-conan and Andy got to the amine studio


-there's a distance from where decapitations are allowed on tv

- why do they always throw their swords? It was working Justine
earlier. And the shield too? Don't do that.

-anti cholesterol pills commercial followed by double cheeseburger
commercial

-tv of the future not far off with all sorts of logos around it

- top of iPhone headphone spot great place to point a joint on hold;
also looks like a funny antenna