One more Sopranos thing

"No shin genius insight."

Doesn't this make you want to get some gabagool?

My Cousin Leonid - Hot and Single

Dear readers,

My family was lucky enough to emigrate to America from Russia in 1973, however I still have several family members who live outside of Moscow, way outside. I know this is not a dating service, but I promised my best cousin Leonid that I would toss a line out to all the sexy ladies who read BRM to see if anyone is interested in a Russian House Husband. He is very eager to come to the US and has been practicing his dance moves to sweeten the deal. Please let me know if you are interested.

There is a recent photo of him below. Here are his STATS:

Age: 36
Height: 5'4"
Weight: 268 lbs
Eyes: Brown
Hair: Everywhere
Wagon: Covered
Interests: Guitar Hero, Guns, Borscht

Personal Quote: "Ladies, give me chance to make happy, I bring sex appeal like never you seen before. Bow wow, chicky chicky!"

JJ

We goin' to Miami!

I hate to show bias and express personal opinion on this website, but could Indianapolis ever come up with anything this good?

Thanks for the memories, Jersey Shore

Jersey Shore is one of those things that should have happened a long time ago. I'm surprised it took MTV this long to cook this up. Was there ever even a Guido on The Real World?

Irregardless, I've only watched a few episodes but they are all full of gold. Some of my favorite bits:

1. In order to live the Jersey Shore lifestyle, you need only three things.

GYM

TAN

LAUNDRY

A fourth item, hair gel, would be included on this list, but it is pretty much a birthright of being Italian, and as such, would be redundant.

2. The fact that these people exist.

A lot of people have come out and stated this is but a small part of the popluation, and that it in no way reflects the true customs of the Italian-American people. I say, embrace it! They can be like your rednecks!

There was once a time where this was embarassing.

3. "I'm not trying to have a job. I'm a DJ."

"One rule at Jersey Shore, never fall in love... unless it's with the chick who's been hooking up with your roommate."

"That girl is 14 years old." "No, she just got the ass of a 14 year-old."

"My type of guy- juiced, steroided-out, human growth hormone gorilla!"

"No one can take away our friendship. Whoa, that was pretty deep right there."

There's something to be admired about the pure confidence that these kids exude. They should write a self-help book.

4. The Situation

All the cast members brought a certain flavor to the show, but you cannot deny this guy. First of all, he was like 10 years older than everyone else, like Luke Perry on 90210. Secondly, what a great nickname- and it was a classic example of synecdoche, as the Situation itself was really his 6-pack.

And the fact that he used it as much as he did in conversation made it even better.

After scoring a couple dates for the night:

"I think we got a situation!"

After a couple more girls swing by that he forgot he invited as well:

"The Situation's got a situation."

After the girls get into a fight and have to leave:

"The Situation's got it under control."

I love the fact that after a week on the Shore, The Sitch and DJ Pauly D were in the mix so much that girls were afraid to hang out with the two of them. That's how the Jersey Shore is done.

At almost any moment, Sitch could be found chilling in the corner, creeping on some girl. Snooki gets knocked out? Sitch was creepin', trying to not have Snickers ruin his night. The only time he used the phone was to set up creepin' opportunities. Last day at the shore, need to set up something for the off-season? Better start creepin' on the beach.

"I ran that house. It was Sitch's world."

Amen.

5. The promise of more

From learning how to beat the beat up, to the realization that you can have a tanning bed at your house, this is a world that can be further explored.

They had a license plate that said "Nu Joisy." The garage was painted red, white, and green with an outline of the State of New Jersey. And nice Scarface poster.

Where can we go next? For starters, take these kids out of their comfort zone a little bit, and see if they can thrive on someone else's turf. It doesn't have to be The Simple Life with Paris Hilton, but take them south for Spring Break.

"Yo Pauly, I made some pasta fagioli."

"Who's Julie?"

Of course, not everyone feels this way.

"DJ Go Fuck Yourself is pretty good."

Damn it Busta...

Rapper Busta Rhymes is said to have suffered an embarrassing moment during a gig in Copenhagen. He picked on a member of the audience for not standing up - unaware the fan was in a wheelchair. Busta told the crowd: "I didn't come from the other end of the world to see people sit on their ass. Everybody get up."

He's then reported to have picked on one man in the front row, not noticing he was in a wheelchair, reports The Sun. A spokesman for his label BMG said: "Busta is very sorry for any offence and did not know the man was disabled."

Where the Wild Things Are: The Director's Cut

This is a movie I'd pay to see.